Discussions By Condition: Mental conditions

Guilt - Please help

Posted In: Mental conditions 6 Replies
  • Posted By: Anonymous
  • December 17, 2006
  • 10:39 AM

Can anyone give me advice on how to deal with my b/f guilt. He left his wife and son recently, we have been together 2 years and now that he has left them he is suffering with terrible feelings of guilt. He says he loves me and wants us to be together but the guilt of leaving his family is having a huge impact on our relationship now.

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6 Replies:

  • i wonder why that would be... maybe because he's been cheating them for almost two years...
    IslandGirl26 7 Replies
    • February 13, 2007
    • 07:49 PM
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  • he is not the first to be caught between love and duty.for the best men in this position,duty will always come first.do you really want a man who is second best?it could be said that he has a duty to you now, but you helped to make that happen,and you knew when you went into this where it might end up.it is possible that in the past two years you have done something important and valuable for each other.but you wont know that for many years yet.this is human life.if you try to make him keep living like this with his heart split in two,it may kill him.at best all three of you will now have to live with sorrow and uncertaintyfor the rest of your lives.that is the best you can expect.and it may be that for you all as individuals this was a necessary passage.,in the sense that something like this was needed to complete your way to adulthood.all part of growing up.but the cheap songs win again;"the joys of love are but a moment long.....the pain of love can endure a whole life long." ultimately when this man has endured enough,he will do his duty.he is feeling worse and worse right?then the time will come.the job you must all do then is to avoid hatred......there is a kid involved....i have not mentioned that kid because every other voice will.you know all about that.also you will have no shortage of glib triumphalism from those who have never loved,like the foregoing contributor.usually women,no, no, usually young girls without experience of life,and unlikely to gain any.god help any man who goes near her. let her have her moment of hatred.she does not have to be brave ,like you.the three of you have a task of sorrow and love for the rest of your lives.there is no map for you,and only one instruction----forgive!
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • February 15, 2007
    • 06:02 PM
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  • That is natural and should be, how could he not feel guilty, he created a life with that women and a family and he abandoned them both for another women (YOU)!! This guilt is probably something he will never get over, deep down inside it will always be there. How do you deal with the guilt of taking a man away from his wife and child or do you not feel anything but satisfaction that you now have him? You both are wrong and should both feel guilty that is what is supposed to happen when you sin. Guilt is a part of sin.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • February 16, 2007
    • 06:33 PM
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  • that is what i meant by "glib trumphalism."it becomes possible to think that way when you forget"let him who is without sin cast the first stone."
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • February 16, 2007
    • 08:05 PM
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  • That is something he alone can deal with .you can only stand by and watch, presumably,you new this when you met him.well his past is part of who he is,you have to work through this.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • October 21, 2007
    • 05:24 PM
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  • I think that if he decided to stay with the woman he had a child with, both her and his child would be deeply unhappy. I do not think he would be happy in that relationship and it would ruin not only her life but it would have a great impact on his childs life as well. I belive this because if he had really loved her, then he would have chosen to stay with her. He left meaning he is in love with you. I think he needs to realize that his love for his child will always be there and that if he does a good job at being a father and if he is able to have a good relationship with this childs mother, then he is doing the best he can. Nobody can ask for more then that. We are born into this world with all our faults. Nobody is perfect, but as long as we do our very best then we should have a clear mind. You should try to support him as much as you can as far as his child goes. Help him by no making him feel guilty for spending time with him. Help him understand that he needs to keep a good relationship with his ex too. If you act as his partner, you will acheive alot! Wish you all the best...
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • October 21, 2007
    • 06:14 PM
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