I've had depression and anxiety issues from a very young age. Generalized anxiety and mild to moderate depression continued through the rest of my adolescence despite the use of first Paxil and then Effexor. I have more or less come to terms with these issues, but recently other concerns have come up and I haven't been able to find a name for what's going on.
My thoughts feel disorganized. Sometimes they will slow down to a snail's pace, sometimes they'll bounce around my mind frantically and I have little to no control over this. More generally, though, it just feels like I'm losing grip, like sometimes my mind feels frayed and one day it'll just snap. I have times when I feel so angry and irritated that I feel I'd be capable of anything, although I never allow myself to act on these impulses. Sometimes I feel like screaming just for the ***l of it.
I don't hear things or see delusions or have voices telling me to do things. I just feel like my mind is a frayed string that is liable to break at some near future date. Disassociation occurs sometimes, but only in the sense that I seem to pull back within myself and watch my mind work. I don't know if that makes sense.
Does anyone have any idea what's going on with me?