Discussions By Condition: Mental conditions

Depressive disorder due to gerascophobia?

Posted In: Mental conditions 2 Replies
  • Posted By: Anonymous
  • April 10, 2009
  • 09:25 PM

I'm an 18 year old girl and I have a lot of issues. I regularly experience intense bouts of depression, anxiety and panic attacks that consequently has had a negative impact on my physical state as well. To begin with, I moved out of my parents' home when I was 15, and have been working to pay rent as opposed to school for three years. When I first moved out, it was to have the ability to do copious amounts of chemical drugs, even though I had already started at 13. That ended about a year ago and has had some lingering after effects (depression due to an imbalance, brittleness, fatigue) and has changed my life completely. Now, I instead rely heavily on alcohol to be entertained, to socialize, and to think clearly sometimes.

For months, I have been physically ill, always tired. Recently I had a breakdown where I sat in my apartment for almost a week and just cried. Most of the time my mind goes to fast for me to coherently understand and it's very frustrating. I always over-analyze to the point where I've broken down just about everything. I have very severe gerascophobia that's eating up my youth. I get too sad to talk to my parents because I was never around and never got to know them, and all that I can think about is them getting older and eventually dying. I think about myself getting old, how crazy I'll become when I see my body deteriorate. I DREAD my birthdays and I'm only 18! I want children but there's always that thought that I won't be the young person anymore. I even have dreams about finding the fountain of youth!

I have never taken medication for any mental health issues but I'd like to know how I can try to understand any of this.

Thanks.

Reply Flag this Discussion

2 Replies:

  • 1. Gerascophobia can be a cultural disease. You have to be careful what you let into your brain. Are you watching TV shows where youth is idealized? Are you hanging out with people who overemphasize appearance? Are you--God forbid!!!--reading Twilight? 2. Depression, impulsivity, and "rushing thoughts" can be symptoms of bipolar disorder or chemical dependence.3. Are you for any reason afraid of becoming "just like" your parents? Could this underlying disturbance be manifesting itself as gerascophobia?
    MissPickwickian 15 Replies Flag this Response
  • 1. Gerascophobia can be a cultural disease. You have to be careful what you let into your brain. Are you watching TV shows where youth is idealized? Are you hanging out with people who overemphasize appearance? Are you--God forbid!!!--reading Twilight? 2. Depression, impulsivity, and "rushing thoughts" can be symptoms of bipolar disorder or chemical dependence.3. Are you for any reason afraid of becoming "just like" your parents? Could this underlying disturbance be manifesting itself as gerascophobia?Hello teganYes thats the word I have searched for! Gerascophobia!!I am 22 and I have some behaviour problems (being sometimes hyperactive and childish and having problems of getting coped with adult life (profession etc...) due to concentration,motivation problems and others.I also hate it getting older and often I have such strange thoughts that my life wouldn`t make any sense if youth is over,because I also probably don`t want to have children.I often calculate how many years back I was 16 or 18 and how many years forwards I will be 26 or 28 :(I had the strange wish of staying 18 for the rest of my live or don`t getting older any more.But I have that problem not because of media or aesthetic problems, I look rather young for my 22 (often I get estimated as 14-18).It is more because of behaviour and the expection of everybody that you get very serious and have your life totally under controll.Also I often have many men wanting me, but it is always very difficult for me to pick the right or I have some strange specific tastes in men which I cannot explain even to myself and last for years and then change abruptly and without reason.How should I be able to find a right partnership for life?:(Sometimes I also cannot fall in love with anybody for months....It feels that I don`t get out of some things of puberty although being rather intelligent.But luckily the gerascophobia isn`t always there,sometimes the thoughts come very suddenly to my mind and make me depressed or the depression comes without reason and then the various negative thoughts,but sometimes also when I am not depressed...Weird....
    undiagnosed022 11 Replies
    • November 21, 2009
    • 08:37 AM
    • 0
    Flag this Response
Thanks! A moderator will review your post and it will be live within the next 24 hours.