I am in my late twenties and was recently diagnosed with Narcolepsy and Cataplexy, but I don't know if that is all that is wrong with me. For the past few years, I have started to feel as if I can't trust my own judgement anymore. What is happening around me isn't the same as how I see it and have often, to embarrassment, jumped to conclusions.
I have often felt as if I have been ganged up on by others and isolated, although when the situation has been looked into, family and friends have remarked that I have had a tendency to overreact or have been a bit too oversensitive.
I have problems expressing myself, sometimes when people ask me "How are you?" I find it to be the most difficult question because (it sounds silly) I don't know myself, sometimes I have so much emotion I just can't speak. On the flip side, most of the time, I can't feel anything at all, I feel numbed. It's a contradiction because at other times I can become really upset or sensitive for no reason - someone might have to just say something and it's like it triggers off a strong emotion in me.
Even sometimes trying to have a conversation with someone can be embarrassing for me because I often find it difficult to explain something, or will use wrong words, or the words will just come out as gibberish and I can see their faces becoming more confused. It's often easier for me to write things than speak because at least I can express something in a way that wouldn't embarrass me.
I was depressed in my late teens and have often found myself shying away from social situations. I feel like just staying indoors. I have had beliefs that at the time seemed very real to me, but it's only in retrospect when I look back at them I realise how ridiculous they were. I hit a low when I even told my own parents that I didn't trust them, that they were conspiring. It frightens me because I feel as if I can't trust my own mind and what I'm perceiving and I worry that I might do something really embarrasing or ridiculous.
I have had visual hallucinations, but I believe they are linked more to the Narcolepsy than anything else (Hypnogogic Hallucinations) and after a bereavement a few years ago, I smelt things that weren't there.
I just want to know what's happening and if other people have felt this way.
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