Discussions By Condition: Mental conditions

confused

Posted In: Mental conditions 1 Replies
  • Posted By: Anonymous
  • September 30, 2007
  • 01:32 AM

i'm 17 years old, i'll be 18 in december and for maybe a year or two, i've been getting the feeling that something is wrong with me. first of all, since i started high school, i've been i guess a little paranoid and i've been having a lot of trouble trusting people, even my close friends and family. i always think that people are lying to me, that people are making fun of me, and that people don't like me and are just pretending to be nice and then turning around and lauging at me with their friends. a lot of times i can't hear people laughing around me without seeing them, because i think that they are laughing at me, and then when people make comments or give me a compliment i always interpret them as sarcastic comments. like someone will tell me that my hair looks cute and i can't keep myself from thinking that they think it looks hideous and that they're just saying that to make me think that they're my friend, when they really hate me. then in the past year or so i've been having even more issues. there are times, typically at least once a month, sometimes more, that i get so depressed that i don't want to get out of bed in the morning. i used to be able to just ignore it and function as i normally would, but in the past few months it has gotten worse. it seems now that when i get kind of paranoid or sometimes even stressed out, it leads to the depressed feelings, which then lead to thoughts of suicide. no actions, just thoughts. i'll imagine how i would kill myself and in my mind i would be able to see myself doing it. it really scares me because these thoughts typically come and go so quickly and i can't seem to stop them or control them. it's like once i start thinking about suicide i can't tell myself to stop thinking about it or think of something else. i also seem to get so frustrated very easily. one minute i'll be fine and then the next i'll be wanting to rip my hair out and scream because i'm so aggravated over something so small and stupid, like people talking in the other room when i'm trying to do my homework. it's just very frustrating and confusing and i don't know what to do. and i have been thinking more now that there is something wrong with me and it's not just normal moodiness, especially since i've found that my grandmother is the exact same way--she doesn't trust people, gets really paranoid about certain things, and gets very upset about thinks very quickly. i haven't told anyone about this, probably because of a combination of the fact that i don't trust anyone and the fact that i am a very private person and i've always kept any kind of problems to myself. i just need help and any advice or suggestions as to what this could be would be greatly appreciated.

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  • I hope you have read some of the good posts on this website.You are not alone. Most people of all ages have experienced what you are talking about. It is a spectrum, with the very trusting at one end and they very distrustful at the other.And you are not a bad person for feeling this way -- this may be part of the illness you are suffering from. You may have a disease, just like some of us have diabetes or arthritis. Nothing more or less.You are probably suffering from a profound distrust of others because someone in your life treated you poorly. It could be emotional abuse, physical abuse or sexual abuse. You may be fearful of others because you are afraid that if you get close to them that they will reject or ridicule you, just as your parents might have done. I deal with this feeling every day.But it is also important to remember that there is such a thing as "healthy trust". You'll need to learn the difference and gradually work through your distrust of others. You may decide that there are certain types of people you need stay away from, while learning to trust the rest. I am doing this right now in my life. I only associate with those folks that I feel safe around. You can do the same thing by identifying who you trust. Then identify those personality types you don't care to spend time around (e.g., arrogant, mean, etc.). When those people show up, gracefully exit stage right. Don't get involved with them at all. This can mean disassociating with some family members as well, so be aware of this.These symptoms of distrust and paranoia could be due to a number of illnesses. You need to seek some support, whether it be a mental health hotline, teacher, pastor, therapist or psychiatrist. They can help point you in the right direction and provide additional support.Medications are not always necessary -- that's for you and your support team to decide. Finally, never give up on yourself. You are your best support system.P.S. I suffer from Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder and Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (or so the docs and therapists say). I don't get hung up on these names, but knowing more about the diseases definitely helps me to understand my behavior. Do some research online using your symptoms, but don't get hung up on diagnosing yourself.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • October 1, 2007
    • 10:49 PM
    • 0
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