Can anyone advise me on what maybe wrong with me!. I was diagnosed with post natal depression 12 years ago, and ever since have got progressively worse. I know this is not post natal depression. I have constant and severe mood swings every day, i can be happy as larry and for no apparent reason i swing completly and am abusive, and aggressive, i do not hit out but i really feel like i could but so far i havent done. I am always tired i mean to the degree i dont get dressed or do anything unless it is pre planned and even then i never feel like going. I hate going anywhere alone to the degree i will not go i will wait for my husband to come home or go, but on the odd occasion i have gone when my mood is in high spirits. I cant work as when i do i am terrible to live with I scream and shout, cry constantly and shake, I even loose my hair with worry. I always end up leaving my job.
I have children and love em to bits and have never hit them in any temper and am compassionate with my kids but if my husband wasnt here I couldnt cope with them. Noise bothers me severly when i am angry and moody i have to go to a quiet room or i just want to run away to get away from it all. I have had suicidal thoughts and even took an overdose. I have seen physcologists who refered me to a phyciatrist , whos report came back after a half an hour session with him that this is part of my personality and i cant be that bad as I still have friends and i made an effort to dress that day!!!!. I dont see my friends every day or i would loose them . I make my husbands life a misery, I have already broke up 2 other marriages and I am still getting worse. The doctors seems to just keep fobbing me off. I am going around in circles. I have read other sites on BPD and very much sounds like me. I do have an under active thyroid and i am borderline diabetic but i am on no meds for diabeties. I am so forgetful its ridiculous, and gets me in trouble alot with bll paying and appointments. I cry alot and just want to know what is wrong with me , It is not all in my head as my report implies, it doesnt actually state this but i know i have something wrong with me. This is not normal behaviour, my phyciatrist even told me maybe im not getting enough attention!!. My mother had severe mood swings and also striped me of self confidence and i also watched my mother go through a severe illness, which has mentally scarred me, my mother has now passed. My grandmother had unstable moods and one of my cousins has schitzaphrenia (cant spell it) so I dont know where to turn to next. Please any advice will be gratefully taken, im desperate for help x
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