Discussions By Condition: Mental conditions

BPD (borderline personality)

Posted In: Mental conditions 3 Replies
  • Posted By: ncloutz
  • November 15, 2006
  • 03:31 PM

I was just recently told that i had BPD. I still don't know what exactly it is. Why I have it. If anyone could help me with exactly what it is that would be fantastic! :D

Reply Flag this Discussion

3 Replies:

  • This is a complex illness. I don't have it but I've been in a relationship with someone that I think does. Unlike you she isn't diagnosed. I admire you for caring enough about yourself and possibly other people in your life to seek help. Don't think there's anything wrong with you. You are still you. This can be managed and be open to letting others become involved and understanding it. I'm still learning about it. There are three books that might help. 'Stop Walking On Eggshells' This book will give you perspective on other people's points of view and what they have to deal with when involved with someone they love has BPD. Another is 'I Hate You Don't Leave Me' and 'Borderline Personality Disorder Demystified'. These two deal with all aspects of it. You might want to get a second opinion just to be sure because it can be misdiagnosed and people that have BPD can be misdiagnosed with something else. It shares traits with many different things. Sometimes neurons in the brain don't line up and fire right all the time. Past sexual, mental, physical and emotional abuse can have something to do with it. Stress and other factors can bring it on. It can be dealt with through low doses of certain drugs, certain therapies, change of lifestyle and helping other people understand and recognize the triggers and how they might respond to them. I'd like to know more about your symptoms and behaviors so that I might be able to get a perspective from someone that may have BPD, how you feel sometimes and what other people may have told you. What is the best thing someone close to you can say or do when you may be having an episode? Or is it best to leave you alone. Sometimes with my girlfriend it seems that no matter what I say or do, nothing good is ever going to happen and I can get very angry with her when I've had enough of the mood changes, anger, hostility and accusations. I get really angry because she refuses to think that anything is wrong and blames me for everything. Lies, accusations of me doing or saying things that I don't do or say, physical violence towards me and if I react or have to restrain her from hurting me she'll call the cops and in the end she says it's my fault because I "Laid my hands on her". I never hit or slapped her. Once she even told the cops that I choked her when I got up in her face and called her a name. They knew better. She said I gave her a bruise that had been there a couple of days from our Mastiff pouncing on her and she put the red marks on her neck and the cops could tell. I get angry with her because I see her suffering and I suffer and she'll never seek help. For years I didn't know what was going on. I didn't know how to deal with it because she refused to. Even though I think I know what may be going on it's still difficult. Recently she had an episode that lasted on and off for about three weeks and one night I'd had enough and told her to get help and she refused and I called her a name and she called her brother and I don't know what she told him but he told me to leave my home and I had a few choice words for him and he called the cops on me. Oh, I forgot to mention that BPD can be genetic and usually is. Her brother's boss calls him Captain Panic and I learned this after I coined a nickname for her, Captain Chaos. The cops came and yanked me out of my home and told me to spend the night in my car. When they left I tried to go back in my home to get my licensce and money because I had to get out of there for good. Her brother attacked me like a football player and knocked me to the ground and I had minor injuries. Her mother was on antidepressants and antipsychotics and she was probably misdiagnosed because she was a wreck. Anyway, I know I'm rambling but I've got a lot inside and I need advice on this too and would like to help anyone with BPD or has lived with someone that does. It destroyed our relationship. I'll also post my story under a new topic in case no one reads this under this topic. Good luck to you and I mean that. I admire you for getting help.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • November 18, 2006
    • 04:12 PM
    • 0
    Flag this Response
  • BPD is a complex illness that can involve many different things. It can be genetic like when someone in your family has any form of mental illness. Don't be afraid of that word. Depression can be a mental illness, narcissism, alcoholism and liberalism. It can involve the neurons in the brain not lined up or firing right sometimes. It can involve past trauma or abuse of any kind and certain stressors or situations can trigger it. Three books to read - 'Stop Walking On Eggshells', 'I Hate You, Don't Leave Me', 'Borderline Peersonality Disorder Demystified'. I'm glad you've decided to look into this. I was in a just recently ended 12 year relationship with a woman I believe to have this disorder but she refused to think anything was wrong and wouldn't get help. She is the kindest, most beautiful, most caring, sexy and smartest woman I've ever met. But sometimes she had this horrible mean streak and lies and accusations. She could be real nasty to me for no reason, or be depressed and it was nothing I did. Sometimes no matter what I did, it would always end up in the gutter. I called them episodes. Now she's going to counselling. I hope it's not too late for us. Maybe it's just the beginning. She made it real ******n me. If you think you may have it then go seek help immediately. It may get worse if you don't. Low doses of certain drugs and certain therapies and identifying triggers and helping people around you help you with it is the focus of getting better and happier. Or, you could just be possessed with demons like I thought she was sometimes. Just kidding !!!! (Or am I?) Good luck!
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • November 19, 2006
    • 01:22 AM
    • 0
    Flag this Response
  • ...or you could just look it up online. You obviously have access to the internet.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • November 19, 2006
    • 03:20 AM
    • 0
    Flag this Response
Thanks! A moderator will review your post and it will be live within the next 24 hours.