Discussions By Condition: Mental conditions

Bipolar?......I don't think so!!!!!!!

Posted In: Mental conditions 10 Replies
  • Posted By: pobserver
  • January 18, 2008
  • 00:47 AM

In the fall of 2002 I was dx'd Bipolar. This was preciptated by a period of depression for which I saw a psychologists. Shortly thereafter I was put on lexapro. This is an antidepressant known to cause mania. I became worse and indulged in reprehensible behavior. After a weeklong roadtrip I took (without telling anyone where I was going) I was seen by a few doctors-finally settled on one psychiatrist who conducted what appeared to be a fairly intensive interview process. After the interview I received my Bipolar dx. A buffet of drugs ensued over the next 4 1/2 years and with many complications attributed to this newly dx'd mental condition. I have been hospitalized several times. I am now going through divorce. I have one 3 year old daughter whom I love more than life itself who my wife refuses to let me see unsupervised (and upheld currently by the courts).

I now believe I am not nor have I ever been Bipolar and what the doctors construed as Bipolar characteristics were actually the toxic effects of all the drugs prescribed or my bodies withdrawal reaction to ceasing some drugs to begin new ones the doc had prescribed during that 4 1/2 yr stint.

Furthermore, I believe the depression (situational) was brought on by an unhealthy environment and the depression was my bodies way of reacting. I do not believe I have any biochemical imbalance (which to date there is no evidence to support), or that my childhood traumas triggered a mental illness.

I quit going to doctors, weened myself off of all the drugs I was prescribed at about mid-April 2007. I lost 50 lbs. and 5-6 inches off my waist. I eat right, exercise and take comfort in my faith. I have never felt this good in my life.

This is a highly annotated version. Please feel free to ask questions or for any clarification.

Sincerely, I am alive and free
pobserver

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10 Replies:

  • Thanks for giving me hope. Have you ever been on lamictal? I feel that it made me paranoid and depressed but I am not sure if anyone else shares my experience with this drug. I'd like to know what caused me to have a small breakdown this summer. I am still currently taking several different kinds of medications but I feel normal aside from feeling no affects from alcohol. I just wonder if I'd feel even better off of all meds. It's been a long time since I was un-medicated. The doc tells me his diagnoses is schizo-affective bipolar and I don't think that it fits me at all. I feel that he is just suggesting something with enough negative implications that my parents will continue to make me see him and take the prescribed medication. Well, he seems like a nice enough guy but I think ALL psychiatrists are at least very misguided or maybe they just talk out of their wazoos. Who knows? If anyone can tell me about their experience with Lamictal that would be very helpful. I was actually perfectly normal during the time leading up to taking the meds but my parents misconstrued my behavior and also found a note I had written about their verbal/emotional abuse. I had left it on my bedroom floor accidentally (my doctor thinks that this mistake indicates either severe ADD and or that I wanted my parents to know how "disturbed" I was- he doesn't exactly believe me about their said abuse.). I am 27 years old and I live at home. My parents take care of everything so I get no say in whether or not I take meds and see this doctor. He is such a quack! I am glad that my body is not very sensitive to these chemicals I have to put into my body. I take Wellbutrin XR 150 mg, Vyvanse (extended release) 120 mg, Abilify 30 mg, Zoloft 50 mg, and Trazodone 100 mg at night to help me sleep. Do you have any suggestions for me as far as actions I could take to free myself from this predicament? I am lazy and not industrious. I could never hold down a real job so I work only part-time a grocery store. I cannot make enough to hire a lawyer or something like that. My mental atitude, brain chemistry, and possibly neurological issues that I was born with make it impossible for me to feel motivated, do really complicated things, be responsible, or be industrious. Above all I am apathetic and un-driven. I have no goals or dreams. I lost all sense of goals or dreams when I was put on Zyprexa when I was 17 years old. I stayed on it for a year and a half. Even though I havn't taken it for 9 years I am still dead inside. Some of the meds I take now (Vyvanse and Wellbutrin) may actually be helpful to me in that they keep me somewhat focused and a bit energetic for short periods of time- just enough to help me tackle a 4-8 hour shift at work a few times a week. I also drink 1-2 16oz cans of an energy drink called full throttle that you can get at any store. I usually only drink these on the days I am working. I love caffeine. It makes work go by faster. Thanks again for sharing your story about the toxic effects of psyche meds. Everyone on this site should read it. You are a very independent thinker. Many people stay on some kind of a drug forever and never are completely unburdenned by unnecessary chemicals. :-) Please write back!
    FreeSpirit27 14 Replies
    • January 19, 2008
    • 09:47 PM
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  • How do you feel now that you have weened yourself off all the drugs; do you feel more stable is the deppression gone
    rachel125 112 Replies
    • January 19, 2008
    • 10:15 PM
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  • Sorry it has taken so long to reply. As a result of ceasing all psych meds I feel incredible. Not manic, not depressed at all, but alive. I have been on many different meds including zyprexa and wellbutrin. I am not a doctor, so please if you decide to ween yourself off drugs I urge you to do your research. If you can talk to your doc then great. Your doctor may not agree with your decision, but he/she (if they are a genuine ethical doctor) will guide you in the right direction to achieve this goal. You must be honest withyourself. You should not focus on just quitting the drugs but your lifestyle in general. Diet, exercise, health, faith are core areas, in my opinion that also need to be focused on. QUIT THE CAFFEINE. I have played around with it and have found the amount of caffeine I consumed directly related to my bodies ability to deal with stress. More caffeine-more stress. I know what you are going through. I have been there. No motivation or goals, no self esteem or pride. I'll be more than glad to tell my story (That will require a much longer post though). I will not pretend to know what your life is like or consists of Free. It is good to know your limitations, however, you need to stop being so ******n yourself. The body is an incredible machine capable of fantastic things. Tell yourself you can try to do things. The feeling of accomplishment does wonders for ones self so does failing. In failing we can figure out what went wrong, try again and do it right. Take care of yourself. This goes back to diet exercise and faith and health. If you treat your body right (from eating right to personal hygeine) you will notice a difference. I will leave you with this quote "some people pray for water, some people dig a well". Be well and do good. Sincerely, I ampobserver
    pobserver 2 Replies
    • January 23, 2008
    • 11:58 PM
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  • How long did it take before you felt yourself again after coming off these drugs. im suffering from baclofen withdrawal syndrome and am having all sorts of problems at 5 months off the drug
    sandy222 13 Replies
    • January 25, 2008
    • 02:14 PM
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  • Re: Bipolar. I am bipolar with major depression. I think that it's cool that you went off the meds but if you have another bout can you trust yourself to reconize it? I am on Wellbutrin 150x2, Lamictal 150mg, visitiral, clonazpam-for restless legs, nifedian for high blood pressure, adderall xr & provigil for narolepsy,cymbalta for depression. The lamictal is to keep me even.Visitiral for panic attacks. Plus too many to mention. I have alot of medical problems so I am on other stuff. But I quit my antidpressants years ago for about 6 years. Sick of taken them. I was good for along time. But then the bottle got a hold of me and replaced them. I am so proud of you being able to go off them and be well. I don't know what that is like any more. My children have to kind of watch my moods to see if I get pychotic or if I get mania (spending sprees, like getting new credit cards and maxing them out in a weekend). It's a lot to put on my children as my children are grown with their own kids. My husband just goes along with it until I get really wacky. I wish I had the faith that you do. I think using drugs and alcohol all my life (10 yrs. old) really screwed up my immune system when it wasn't good to begin with (very sick as a baby, child). That's why I am afraid to go off them. Addiction is not something I want to go through. But look at my meds. You can add a fentynl patch 50mg every 48 hrs.and see that I've gone from one thing to a legal thing. I hope everything goes great for you and I think I can have faith & hope for you.---kschup
    klschup 42 Replies
    • January 27, 2008
    • 08:38 PM
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  • Thankyou for your message. Im so sorry that you have suffered in this way I truly am. I hope you dont mind me asking you this question. When you first came off the anti depressants were you weaned off them. Also did you suffer after the weaning off process or were you fine. My drug was actually a muscle relaxant drug that i was put on for a spasm in my face and the docs didnt wean me off it properly and give my brain the chance to readjust so i came off cold turkey from it..by the time they put me back on it when all ***l broke loose two weeks had gone by and I ended up worse than before and have suffered 40 withdrawal symptoms from the drug. I am scared because Its been 6 months since the weaning off and Im still suffering from so many horrible symptoms and my central nervous system has taken a battering as a result. It has also caused gastro-intestinal problems as it relaxed all my intestines. Sorry if I upset you in any way. But i am refusing any other drugs that go through the cns and brain at the moment cos i think they might make me worse. I am house bound most days.
    sandy222 13 Replies
    • January 28, 2008
    • 10:35 AM
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  • This is to Sandy 222. I am so sorry that you had to cold turkey it. Drs. should know that when you come off drugs like that you need help. Everyone is different in times. I had to cold turky for my fentyl patch when I ran out early (no, it wasn't me that took too many) but it was for a week 1/2. It's obvious that my drs nurse wasn't smart enough to get me through it. The detox is bad. When I went to my dr for a refill a week 1/2 later she couldn't believe they made me detox. Needless to say, I lock up all my drugs now. You know there is no shame in getting help for you detox. Even if your dr. says you should be through it. Find someone who will help you through it. Someone you can talk to. Good Luck, I hope everything goes ok.------------klschup;)
    klschup 42 Replies
    • January 28, 2008
    • 04:18 PM
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  • thanks. There isnt anyone to help me. Its been 6 months off the drug and because I was cold turkeyed im suffering from a central nervous system malfunction. No one can tell me if I will recover> I have suffered at least 40 withdrawal symptoms. I still have new withdrawal symptoms emerging like clicking joints, nausea, painful muscle spasms,vertigo type symptoms so i am house bound most of the time, blinding headcahes, wierd feeling inside my body. Sometimes i wake up in the night and it feels as if my heart has stopped beating. There is no one to help me. I have spent fortunes searching for a remedy and there isnt one. This is medical negligance. Sorry to vent on this forum. Ive just been upset today.:( Ive lost my job as this has gone on too long, live alone and feel isolated. SorryHow long did it take you to recover from your cold turkey experience?
    sandy222 13 Replies
    • January 28, 2008
    • 09:03 PM
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  • In the fall of 2002 I was dx'd Bipolar. This was preciptated by a period of depression for which I saw a psychologists. finally settled on one psychiatrist who conducted what appeared to be a fairly intensive interview process. After the interview I received my Bipolar dx. A buffet of drugs ensued over the next 4 1/2 years and with many complications attributed to this newly dx'd mental condition. I now believe I am not nor have I ever been Bipolar and what the doctors construed as Bipolar characteristics were actually the toxic effects of all the drugs prescribed Furthermore, I believe the depression (situational) was brought on by an unhealthy environment and the depression was my bodies way of reacting.weened myself off of all the drugs I was prescribed at about mid-April 2007. I lost 50 lbs. and 5-6 inches off my waist. I eat right, exercise and take comfort in my faith. I have never felt this good in my life.pobserver I was mis-diagnosed with dx bi-polar, by first psychiatrist.. I new it was not correct- that I was having a nervous breakdown. not bi-polar. After about 3 months of bi-polar drugs, all of which helped in the beginning, then quickly gave me side-effects I could not live with. Why? wrong drugs,I was not bi-polar. Iwent to another psychiatrist and ditched the last - I was having a nervous breakdown, put on other drugs - no more bi-polar drugs (well, a smlest dosage of one) . Anyway, the nervous breakdown went on for 14 mo- It was brough about by job losses, money losses, near homelessness, and living off cc at this point. That is what brought on the nervous breakdown - not a bi-polar episode. Although, all the stress and noise in my body finally stopped - in those 14 mo I became completely unable to function - shower, drive, brush teeth - everything, except be drive to dr. office. It was bad, bad. I am now on Disability - I am still unable to work - and have fallen back into depression - situational -have lost everthing, except my car - not showering or taking care of myself - due to depression, do not leave house. There is not life to pick up for me - was getting better - then reality hit - no money, still unable to work, living with a roomate in a dump (yuk) - plus PTSD - I am not even thinking about any work - I am not going to have another breakdown like that , no way. SO I am too old for hope- at a certain age when this happens - there is no hope for a life - and my confidence is gone, my self-esteem is gone - all bad - oh well - this is what happens when one is not able to hold onto a job and is a singel girl with no husband. Gland you are doeing well
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • February 2, 2008
    • 06:17 PM
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  • to pobserver - Thank goodness your situational depression - due to unhealthy environment ? kindly define the environment, work, home, etc?)was resolved.I will not recover completely to the fully functional person I once was because - (1) I am 50, and single and alone (except for living with roomate) (2) I have lost all my money, and my furniture (3) my beautiful looks are getting messed up, they can be repaired (4) being on disability is the best thing for me-otherwise I would be homeless and dead, I would never survive shelter-life. (5) I have no hope- without hope - its bad - 6 mo after the breakdown symptoms stopped (called a miracle) I started getting better - then reality of my new life situation hit - then depression swiftly - and recovery is now backwards.You are lucky that you had not lost everthing, before you were able to pull it together - that gave you had hope.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • February 2, 2008
    • 06:47 PM
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