Discussions By Condition: Mental conditions

Anxiety or INSANITY?

Posted In: Mental conditions 5 Replies
  • Posted By: Guardian2008
  • September 19, 2008
  • 04:59 AM

Firstly, im sorry for such a long post and would like to thank anyone for taking their time out to read this.
Have had this for a month. It all started after an mdma trip gone wrong. I was pretty much freaking out thinking im going to die and had trouble breathing for no reason through the whole experience.

I was also on clonazipam 2 week prior for some minor social anxiety for a about a month, but had some short term memory issues so i stopped abruptly. Went fine for a week an then had a panic attack at work so i went back on it at very low dose for a week and stopped all together. The last week was the worst, i had major panic attacks (ONLY AT WORK) i was fine at home. Mind you, i NEVER BEFORE that had a panic attack in my life. But got over it and was alright for two weeks. Then the bad trip
Most of the time im in fear, especially at work. Not in fear of a specific thing but just fear in general. In the morning i sometimes wake up in fear of going to work and thinking i will have a panic attack although i haven't had one for the past 2 months. As i've said it's always the worst at work.

I also had few episodes where suicidal ideation or intrusive thoughts to be more exact, and that truly terrifies me. For instance i would be in my ?anxiety? state and for some reason a thought would pop in to my head saying maybe i should drive of the bridge or cut myself. Then all of the sudden i would step back and think, what the ***l i would never do that. And that really scares me.
Now there symptoms only arise when im at work, especially after lunch. I still feel a little weird through 1st part of the day. But as soon as i get of lunch, this hits right away. Everything is like being in a different state of mind. If i step back and think about that is going on rationally, i know that im ok and everything is alright.

Anyway here are my symptoms, mind you these come and go, every week it's different story.
Very stiff neck where i feel it in my head. Like if you turn you head as far as you can and flex your neck muscles. You feel like your neck is a piece of metal. Have this all the time.

Hard to take in breaths, especially when i get nervous.
Feel surges of adrenaline rush through the body, like before one had a panic attack.

Chest pains (not too common but get some through the day)
Breathing trouble (Some episodes thought the day)

Pressure in around the head and right ear (sometimes)
Nervous/anxious/scared

Scared of being scared, if that makes scene
Negative thoughts more negative then positive

Tingling feet
Mind racing. I thinking about one thing, but at the same time thnking about im thinking while singing verses from a song i heard recently. Mind is on double time.

Feel tuned out, not fully myself. Derealization maybe? You know when u watch a movie and they play a dream scene were everything is alittle fuzzy. Thank is my perception most of the time.
Fear of being by myself.

Dizziness, floor spining, the light head, imbalance and confusion (mostly when i wake up in the morning, but get em throught the day too

Very self-conscious basically over analysis and too aware of myself
Constantly thinking there is something wrong with me.
Fear that i might soon die or hurt myself "which quiet honestly i do not have the balls for".

Fear of going insane and loosing control of myself. Which is the scariest of them all.
I also experince skipped heart beats. (But havent had them this week)

And feeling as is there is a bomb inside of me that's about to go off. (Haven' had it much this week)
I have also been to the ER and had a cat scan done, came back negative. Doc said it's anxiety. Also been to Neurologist, she examined me said it's anxiety and possible clonazipam withdraws. Also did EEG, now waiting for result. I just can't to stop thikking there is something wrong with me or that im totally losing it. Lately i've been afraid to go into work because of the way i feel when im there. Please any of your comments would be much appreciated.

Thank you!

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5 Replies:

  • You don't sound "insane" but you definitely have all the signs of anxiety disorder/panic attacks. Since you have never had panic attacks previous to your use of the psych meds, I think your doctor is right that they are a side effect of it, or of withdrawal from it. You said you were taking the meds for "minor social anxiety." I guess this goes to show that generally meds are overkill for any condition that is "minor." Not to mention the memory loss side effect you mentioned. Meds should only be a last resort, though personally I wouldn't take any period. Also: -Sounds like you have a stressful job, like many people do. Stress can provoke all sorts of symptoms. -Feeling dizzy and light headed usually is not a mental health symptom, it could just be low blood sugar. Carry some fruit or candy around. -Sounds like overall you have a creative/oversensitive personality, therefore some of your symptoms such as over self analysis might just be normal for you. You need to balance these tendencies by organizing better, get one of those personal schedule books, also look into "grounding" exercises such as meditation in which you focus attention on your breathing - this can lessen the derealization and snap you back into the present.
    Non Servium 85 Replies
    • September 28, 2008
    • 02:36 AM
    • 0
    Flag this Response
  • Anti-anxiety medication is habit-forming and it is not a solution. You should be prescribed (in your case I would say higher dose of) anti-depressives. They are, which a lot of people don't assume, pretty essential when battling anxiety, panic attacks and anxiety disorders (which truly is what you most probably have). Zoloft (Sertralin) and Citalopram are most commonly used anti-depressants which have very strong anti-anxiety effect. It would help with the pains and discomfort in your body as well. Also you are NOT going crazy, that feeling like you might "lose it" is typical for panic attacks/high anxiety. The symptoms you describe are not life-threatening because they are psychosomatic. What is the biggest concern is your suicidal thoughts. You should get a good doctor and make sure you emphasise that. Anti-anxiety drugs can help to tie you over before you find anti-depressive drug which works for you and gives you relief. Therapy is very essential also. It can make you understand what is going on, what triggers the attacks, therefore reduce or get rid of the anxiety. Good Luck and don't worry - you are not going crazy and you are certainly not alone :*
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • November 9, 2008
    • 06:15 AM
    • 0
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  • HI. i have been on citalipram for about 3 years now for extream anxiety, they do work but they take a couple of weeks to kick in. also the problem with anxiety dissorders is that they sometimes creep up on you, he stress can build up without you realising, unfotunatley the stress has to come out somehow, and there comes the anxietys, therapy helps with the meds but mostly you need to hep your self, thats the hardest part. you need to retrain your brain to be posative even when things are **** in your life.its hard but it can be done in time.
    XANDER 23 Replies
    • November 10, 2008
    • 10:49 PM
    • 0
    Flag this Response
  • First and foremost use of illicit drugs do not "cause" mental illnesses but it can worsen them. They can alter the levels of serotonin in your brain for weeks after using them. So...do not use illicit drugs. Also suddenly stopping any benzo can cause horrible and possibly fatal withdrawals, these meds must be tapered off. The same is not true with antidepressants. Suddenly stopping them can cause a worsening of symptoms but not seizures like with benzos. You really sound like you're having panic attacks. I agree with the previous posters that perhaps you should consider an antidepressant like paxil. Also, work on an anxiety journal, maybe see if there are any common factors. You may want to work with a therapist on coping skills and ways to break the cycle. I hope this is helpful.
    ferretlady 7 Replies Flag this Response
  • Firstly, im sorry for such a long post and would like to thank anyone for taking their time out to read this. Have had this for a month. It all started after an mdma trip gone wrong. I was pretty much freaking out thinking im going to die and had trouble breathing for no reason through the whole experience. I was also on clonazipam 2 week prior for some minor social anxiety for a about a month, but had some short term memory issues so i stopped abruptly. Went fine for a week an then had a panic attack at work so i went back on it at very low dose for a week and stopped all together. The last week was the worst, i had major panic attacks (ONLY AT WORK) i was fine at home. Mind you, i NEVER BEFORE that had a panic attack in my life. But got over it and was alright for two weeks. Then the bad trip Most of the time im in fear, especially at work. Not in fear of a specific thing but just fear in general. In the morning i sometimes wake up in fear of going to work and thinking i will have a panic attack although i haven't had one for the past 2 months. As i've said it's always the worst at work. I also had few episodes where suicidal ideation or intrusive thoughts to be more exact, and that truly terrifies me. For instance i would be in my ?anxiety? state and for some reason a thought would pop in to my head saying maybe i should drive of the bridge or cut myself. Then all of the sudden i would step back and think, what the ***l i would never do that. And that really scares me. Now there symptoms only arise when im at work, especially after lunch. I still feel a little weird through 1st part of the day. But as soon as i get of lunch, this hits right away. Everything is like being in a different state of mind. If i step back and think about that is going on rationally, i know that im ok and everything is alright. Anyway here are my symptoms, mind you these come and go, every week it's different story. Very stiff neck where i feel it in my head. Like if you turn you head as far as you can and flex your neck muscles. You feel like your neck is a piece of metal. Have this all the time.Hard to take in breaths, especially when i get nervous. Feel surges of adrenaline rush through the body, like before one had a panic attack. Chest pains (not too common but get some through the day) Breathing trouble (Some episodes thought the day) Pressure in around the head and right ear (sometimes) Nervous/anxious/scared Scared of being scared, if that makes scene Negative thoughts more negative then positive Tingling feet Mind racing. I thinking about one thing, but at the same time thnking about im thinking while singing verses from a song i heard recently. Mind is on double time. Feel tuned out, not fully myself. Derealization maybe? You know when u watch a movie and they play a dream scene were everything is alittle fuzzy. Thank is my perception most of the time. Fear of being by myself. Dizziness, floor spining, the light head, imbalance and confusion (mostly when i wake up in the morning, but get em throught the day too Very self-conscious basically over analysis and too aware of myself Constantly thinking there is something wrong with me. Fear that i might soon die or hurt myself "which quiet honestly i do not have the balls for". Fear of going insane and loosing control of myself. Which is the scariest of them all. I also experince skipped heart beats. (But havent had them this week) And feeling as is there is a bomb inside of me that's about to go off. (Haven' had it much this week) I have also been to the ER and had a cat scan done, came back negative. Doc said it's anxiety. Also been to Neurologist, she examined me said it's anxiety and possible clonazipam withdraws. Also did EEG, now waiting for result. I just can't to stop thikking there is something wrong with me or that im totally losing it. Lately i've been afraid to go into work because of the way i feel when im there. Please any of your comments would be much appreciated. Thank you!Your symptoms are definitely of severe anxiety disorder. Scared of being scared generally means you know these symptoms arise after lunch and you naturally dread them appearing. This impending panic attack makes you more scared and nervous which is common for SAD sufferers as is the negative thoughts. You should ideally ask your specialist to get you onto some talking treatments to help. The following sites show you the different symptoms of what you are suffering from:http://severe-anxiety-disorder.net/panic-attack-symptoms/http://manicdepressivedisorders.net/bipolar-ii-symptomsHope you get over this soon!
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
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