My friends have always called me anal and ocd, but they were always joking about it. But lately, i've been really irritated and anxious about certain things. I was bulimic for 3 years
all throughout my life, i've always done things a certain way and if I don't do it, then I can't focus and i start getting irritated
some things are
-windows,closets and doors must be closed when I am sleeping
-My water filter must reach at least the 1.5 inches water line
-The ends of my nails must be smooth or I will get a nail buffer to smooth it out or if I cannot i will pick at my nails until they are
-Underneath my nails it must be clean or I will fix it myself or get a nail clipper (this takes a lot of my focus away)
-I am always afraid people can hear my thoughts and that someone is watching me
-Anything that shows the battery health must be at least 25% charged, like my cell phone has 4 bars which indiciate how much battery I have and it cannot get to 1-2 bars or I start freaking out
-I count the number of letters in subtitles or captions and then group them in groups of 4 or 5 and try to move around the words to make sure that each sentence has the same number of letters/words.
-Dishes must be washed right after they are used
-I must wake up before my alarm goes off or get tea out of my microwave before the timer goes off
-I must check all my mail so the notification does not show up
-I must sleep with my retainers on
-Afraid of gaining weight ( I haven't checked the scale in 2-3 years, once my friend tried to make me and i almost cried)
These are just some of things my friends have pointed out. The only reason why i am questioning if I have some sort of disorder or not is because usually I can "satisfy" these specify ways, but for the past month my keyboard sort of broke and now only some of the lights show up on the keyboard and its making me so frustrated everytime i look at it. I can't concentrate on anything else except my keyboard and I can't fix it until next month because I need to save up money. It costs around 350 bucks to fix it but I'm willing to pay for it because it makes me so restless!!! Thats when one of my close friends told me to go to a therapist bcause she said im worrying too much about little things.
Then i took a test that the local clinic gives out and It says i have generalized anxiety disorder. I have a consultation sort of thing on monday but I can't wait until then to know what i have or do not have. All i can think about is that consultation and its making my heart beat extremely fast and I can't concentrate on anything and this is making me so angry and stressed!
Am i just over-reacting?