Discussions By Condition: Mental conditions

"emotional problems"

Posted In: Mental conditions 3 Replies
  • Posted By: Ezalia
  • August 29, 2008
  • 08:52 PM

Hello,
I don't want to force you all to read a huge wall of text...so i will try to keep this as short as possible. So far this is my 2nd revision.
I was diagnosed with depression when I was 17 (I'm 25 or 26 now..sorry, my memory is picky as to what it wants to remember)
I have tried multiple anti depressants from Serzone, Prozac, Zoloft, and a few others that I can't remember. The result was always the same. It would work...to a point. I felt like there was this wall blocking all of the feelings and emotions and sadness I felt. It was still there...but I couldn't access it. I was still tired all the time, I would still fly off the handle and weep about what some viewed as "small issues". So I sought out therapy. I saw multiple shrinks, 5 total. Some I couldn't connect with, some wanted me to do little worksheets, and there was 1 that I actually connected with. But he was a student at the University and graduated. Shortly after I saw a new family doctor. He suggested that I might have ADD. He suspected that my lethargy and feelings of guilt were caused by my inability to focus and get things done. Made sense to me. After a failed attempt at some other reuptake inhibitor, I was put on Adderal. For the next few months...I can say I was happy. But it didn't last. I was feeling good about the fact that I was not a lazy blob on society but I would still have emotional episodes about money and life in general. I would make little to do lists that never felt done. And now I barely leave the house at all. I can't afford to leave the house and I feel ashamed and uncomfortable wherever I go.
The bottom line is this. I feel disconnected from this world. I feel like I don't belong here. I feel like my values don't fit into what society wants from me. I despise the fact that i have to work 40 hours a week to live and all the other time is spent sleeping. I am jobless but I am going to school in hopes of getting a job that I might enjoy as my life. I have repeated outbursts of weeping that I try to keep to myself as I feel like a burden on others. Usually I assume they won't understand. The ones I have tried to talk to tell me the same thing...grit your teeth and bare it.
Is this what I have to do? Just grit my teeth and accept the fact that I will always be unhappy with the world? It seems that way. Because now I have no gas in my car, my account is 100 dollars in the hole, and I feel like those that have been financially helping me for awhile now are getting sick of it.
I don't think about killing myself...but frequently I try to wish myself away.

Sorry...I suppose I still gave you a wall of text. I'm sure I left something out. But I'll stop now.

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3 Replies:

  • yea brah i feel ya. well im 16 and i also have depression.i developed it because i broke up with this chick that i was like so in love with :'(.anyways it might seem ironic you having depression and all but you should try getting with a chick. in the past when i was with my the girl of my dreams, if i ever felt sad i would shower her with bear hugs and pecks on her cheek.i guess me showing her all that affection made me feel better. and also having that strong connection with a chick would help, trust me bro..oh i also workout when ever i feel depressed, angry, or confused.that would help you out for sure. try it...good luck tiger!!!
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • November 17, 2008
    • 08:53 AM
    • 0
    Flag this Response
  • Hello, my name is Luis. I just register as a new member. I know that when you posted your quotes and message it was back in the year of 2008. I read your post and felt a need to reply. I too have been having emotional problems. When I read your post, it is exactly what I am going thru. I hope and pray that you are doing better. Please let me know. Also a little about me is that I had to undergo neck surgery, a cervical spinal fusion back in June 23,2009. Since the surgery, I have been trying to recover, but it has not work after 10 months. I really hope and pray that you are doing better. And if you are not doing better, don't give up. And I know for a fact that there will be a time in the near future when no humans will say "I am Sick" Perhaps we can exchange information that are helpful and talk about what if any suggestion on how to deal with our problems and just the fact that I read your post, yes I broke down too in tears. In fact, your post helped me to really came to the conclusion, that I am not alone in this type of illness. But anyway, I too have a habit of not getting to the point. sorry! Looking forward in hearing from you. Hello, I don't want to force you all to read a huge wall of text...so i will try to keep this as short as possible. So far this is my 2nd revision. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 17 (I'm 25 or 26 now..sorry, my memory is picky as to what it wants to remember) I have tried multiple anti depressants from Serzone, Prozac, Zoloft, and a few others that I can't remember. The result was always the same. It would work...to a point. I felt like there was this wall blocking all of the feelings and emotions and sadness I felt. It was still there...but I couldn't access it. I was still tired all the time, I would still fly off the handle and weep about what some viewed as "small issues". So I sought out therapy. I saw multiple shrinks, 5 total. Some I couldn't connect with, some wanted me to do little worksheets, and there was 1 that I actually connected with. But he was a student at the University and graduated. Shortly after I saw a new family doctor. He suggested that I might have ADD. He suspected that my lethargy and feelings of guilt were caused by my inability to focus and get things done. Made sense to me. After a failed attempt at some other reuptake inhibitor, I was put on Adderal. For the next few months...I can say I was happy. But it didn't last. I was feeling good about the fact that I was not a lazy blob on society but I would still have emotional episodes about money and life in general. I would make little to do lists that never felt done. And now I barely leave the house at all. I can't afford to leave the house and I feel ashamed and uncomfortable wherever I go.The bottom line is this. I feel disconnected from this world. I feel like I don't belong here. I feel like my values don't fit into what society wants from me. I despise the fact that i have to work 40 hours a week to live and all the other time is spent sleeping. I am jobless but I am going to school in hopes of getting a job that I might enjoy as my life. I have repeated outbursts of weeping that I try to keep to myself as I feel like a burden on others. Usually I assume they won't understand. The ones I have tried to talk to tell me the same thing...grit your teeth and bare it. Is this what I have to do? Just grit my teeth and accept the fact that I will always be unhappy with the world? It seems that way. Because now I have no gas in my car, my account is 100 dollars in the hole, and I feel like those that have been financially helping me for awhile now are getting sick of it. I don't think about killing myself...but frequently I try to wish myself away. Sorry...I suppose I still gave you a wall of text. I'm sure I left something out. But I'll stop now.
    lguzman 1 Replies Flag this Response
  • Hope the anonymus guy who commented 7 years ago feels better now...
    Anonymous 1 Replies
    • November 17, 2015
    • 10:48 PM
    • 0
    Flag this Response
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