hi, my name is kevin and ime 20 years old. a few months ago i was in a real bad way. every morning i woke up unhappy and went to work. when i was at work i was sleeply all the time, did not want to do anything and just felt alone. after looking on the internet about depression, i found out that is why i must be acting like this. went to the doctors coz it was getting too much for me to handle. they put me on anti-depressants. during that time i took more than i should of, i went off them and back on them. i got happyer i got worse too. so now i find myself at a crossroad. i did not have a good childhood. i feel like i cant say whats on my mind to people, i dont like to talk coz of this. my last 3 relationships went bad, they ended up goin out with my mates. that made me feel very worthless. just got out of a good relationship, we broke up coz we live too far away from eachother. for that short time we was together i found the love i wanted. i keep on thinking about all theses things and blame myslef. i am ment to be a cage fighter as well. ment to be fighting for a title soon but Mentally all this is killing me. i rember getting jumped a few times as a kid and thinking why did i not fight back? i am finding day to day life very hard to deal with. i daydream alot, i am very paranoid about what people think of me. i just want to know how do i fill that hole Mentally that i have??
Thanks for reading, and hope u can help me.