Happy 4th of July everybody.
I'm now 36 and took a serious look at my past.
Drinking tons of alcohol in my late twenties altered my brain chemistry at the time which caused manic and depressive behavior. It figures that depression would result from taking a depressant (alcohol). Also had been talking Zoloft back then which would give me mania symptoms that I loved because it brought be out of depression.
One doctor said this, another doctor would say that, and another doctor would say something else. Try this medication, now try this medication, try this drug to counter the negative effects of that drug, and take this drug to counter the effects of that other drug.
We live in a society that compartmentalizes everything. We feel very insecure unless we can label and categorize things into to names and numbers.
Now that I am 36 years old, I realize that I was just growing up. My behavior, my mood swings, my life, my intentions, my feelings ALL JUST GROWING UP.
I read philosophy instead of psychology now. I don't care what is normal and what is considered abnormal anymore. Philosophy has taught me that most all famous philosophers have experienced major mood swings, major behavior and socialization issues. I'm not odd or different they anyone else, I'm just human.
Today I read book like "The insecurity of wisdom" by Alan Watts. He clearly points out that when we feel insecure and neurotic, this is because of our conscience. All eastern religious suggest that we must transcend the SELF. This is because of what philosophers call duality. Inside our brains is a perpetual fight between "I" which is my ego, and "ME" which is my physical body.
In some people, this mental fight is more pronounced. There is a big fight in some people and a little fight in other people. Alan Watts clearly writes (and you will find that other great philosophers suggest similar observations) that the more neurotic the person is, the more in tune this person may be to the real world. The real world is in constant change, in constant FLUX. How can someone be grounded and normal in a constantly changing world? This is why some believe the more secure you are, the more grounded and normal you are, the more you live in an illusionary world.
The more you anchor to things like your job title, your car, your house, your popularity, your possessions, the more out of tune you really are to this world.
When you cannot find the answers in life, sometimes you have to realize that you are looking in the wrong direction.
Now that I'm older, I realize that philosophy is far more important than psychology. Philosophy has the answers to the problems I've had for 15 years now. Those problems are that of being human.
Have a wonderful journey in the other direction. :)