I just joined the group. i'm 26, never had any severe health issues. so now I don't know what to do. I'm currently being overwhelmed with depression and the urge to cry, so i may ramble a bit and not include everything.
About 7 months ago, i had stomache pains and a little weight loos. So i went to the e.r. they told me i had gastro enteritis, which they said had to "work itself out" because it was nonresponsive to antibiotics.they never took blood or anything!but I trusted them, said ok, took the script for nausea and went home. I ate soup and non seasoned foods and liquids for a few days as the doctor instructed, then slowly began to work back to my regular diet. SInce that time, i have been struggling to keep weight on. I went and had bloodwork done about 2 weeks ago because I still don't feel any better. It came back fine, so now i'm lost. I'm fatigued almost constantly. I eat out of nutritional need, not hunger. my appetite is barely there. I was diagnosed with body dismorphic disorder. i don't put a lot of stock in any "diagnosis", only the effective treatment of the problems. I "see" myself as "fat". But i use that term loosely. Realistically, i know i'm not fat, i'm actually too thin. But i don't starve myself, and i'm not bulimic. I actually used to LOVE food. up until 6 months ago or so.
I've read all the effects of annorexia and malturtition. So i don't want to do that to myself. but when you're appetite is so weak that you just forget about food, it becomes a problem. I think i'm suffering from depression on top of it all. I've never been the most social person, and it's only gotten worse over the last few months. I loved being primarily solitary! right up until i started having these problems. Now i find being alone all too scary. I have no one to talk to. No one i can express my fears and anxieties to. I really feel like i'm facing whatever this is, alone. I have my mother, and we're so close. but i can't bring myself to stress her with my concerns. she'd be there, but she's a 5 time cancer survivor, and the chemo and radiation has taken a toll on her mind and body. She's more fragile than she thinks, now. So i find i hold all of this stress inside. i just cry in the middle of the night, thinking about organ failure, hair loss and death.....uplifting huh? lol. it's not much, but i've maintained my sense of humour as much as i can.
I don't even know what i'm looking for here. i just needed to get out all the things i can't express in the "real world".
anyways, thanks to whoever takes the time to read this...
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