I have a really strange problem and this is the first time ive ever posted about it.
I am 35 years old now.
I have been on nicotine (in one form or another) since 14 years old.
At the age of 25 i was an alcoholic for 1 year.
I would say i was an alcoholic because I could not function if I did not drink every day (my mind would go foggy and i would not feel right)
As soon as I lost my job I gave up the alcohol.
However Ive been left with a biochemical problem that I never had before and i noticed that this started during my alcoholic phase.
I get into a state where I just feel awful, really tense, I feel a lot of anger inside. In fact i feel like i am about to explode! Its really bad .
The problem is this happens to me several times a day. Its not related to how I think or my mental outlook on life, it just happens unpredictably.
How do i get into this state?
This is a bit tricky to explain, it involves nicotine.
Now before i was an alcoholic if i needed nicotine i would just take a nicorette chewing gum and all would be solved.
In abstract say that my body needed 30 units of nicotine (a unit could be anything, it doesnt matter for this example) then i would be able to take
any amount between 30 - 100 units and still feel fine.
However since being an alcoholic things have changed. going back to the abstract example, again say my body needed 30 units - it now happens that i need to get pretty close to 30 units, say 30, 31 , 32 or 33 would be ok but any more than that and i feel awful as i explained above.
Now its impossible to be so precise as to get exactly the right amount of nicotine which is why i most always end up feeling ill.
If I get too much nicotine it makes me feel ill as i described above.
If i dont get enough then i feel depressed anyway
You might say cant i just give up nicotine? NO sorry and i did go cold turkey for 2 years but I just became totally depressed and never felt better.
Most people who smoke just dont have this problem, they can just obtain
a certain amount of nicotine per day and it doesnt have to be too precise.
So i think that the alcohol broke something in my brain and now im left with strange problems that make it very hard for me to function.
Does anyone know what i am talking about? can anyone help?