i'll try to make this short.. over a year and a half ago i was hit by a car crossing the street. Over the next year i went to doctor after doctor who would never give me the time of day -- many / most time because i have psychiatric background - manic depressive.
during this period of time my body morphed to the point where my trunk truly looks deformed.
finally after a year stanford looked at me and said you have brain damage.
but it gets even worse...
so that was nine months ago....
but during this whole period without me having any knowledge of it i was have strange movements that were called athetoid / chorea like.
now i didn't have a clue i was doing anything strange nor had i ever heard of these words.
i've always been physically heallthy
SO TODAY I THOUGHT I MIGHT GET LUCKY. WENT TO UCSF MOVEMENT DISORDER CLINIC.
i had just gotten out of 3 months of intense pt, sp, oc and all there reports said the same thing. TBI with athetoid symtoms
basically my body cant stay still. gait is a mess. if i stand up and don't move mh legs will shake and my trunk will thrust
so today, of course, i am with the resident, she does all the tests. i felt surpringly relaxed and i brought someone with me who said it was hard for him to watch because he knew me before.
The Doctor comes in and sits down and tell me it is all psycological.
I had brought a full body scan which showed my skeleton being ... not right as well as pictures taken of me without shirt on where my body is a mess.
so i say "are you saying my body is psycological" YES "are you saying that one of my legs is now an inch longer becuse its' psycologica" YES
I am literally running out of help.
i know myself. i know my body. The Physiatrist and Rehab pepople who were with brain injuries / strokes all say something is wrong but i am a "puzzle"
but each time i've seen a neuro person i am utterly a joke / humilated.
She said she is going to send letter to all my doctors. Meeaning my shrink and therapist. who are *****d because i have been treated so badly so far
WHAT CAN I DO? i walk with a cane. people say i look like i'm getting worse even. my body is so messed up and torqued that the pressure just caused my left knee to have it's miniscus torn.
I have no genetic predisposition. They have done blood tests. My CT scan came back fine. The MRI came out okay. i have some nerve damage and eye trouble
BUT DOES ANYONE THINK WHAT I AM WRITING IS WEIRD IN TERMS OF BEING TREATED WITH CONDESCENION. THEY SPEND HALF THE TIME GRILLING ME ABOUT MY PSYCH CONDITIHON.
i mean seriously to the neuro people it's almost to the point where everything that got messed up is perfectly fine.
i am so tired,, humilated, that i don't have time to be scared.. my body hurts all the tiem and it's just getting worse.
I am well aware i am lucky and don't have parkson's or hunningtons etc..
but my god i have never ever crossed my mind when all the physiatrist look at me - look at me like i'm actually present. i did truly awful on my neuropsych etc
sorrry this is so long. i really am. i just feel so utterly naked, humilated, furious and uterrified