I'll briefly talk about my life history.
I was born in 1958.
In 1959 at age one I was sexually assaualted by a catholic priest. At age two, a pedophile nun joined in with this pedophile priest in assaulting me.
At around age three the assaults were discovered. Unfortunately nobody wanted to help me, the integrity of the catholic church was more important than me.
At age four a natural miracle happened. I met another dissociate like myself. He was my father's age. He killed the pedophile nun for me. He ran her down with his motor vehicle. This incident occured in a small town where I lived. The police department consisted of only two police officers and the police Chief. When the Chief himself investigated the killing he discovered who done it. He was so upset with the catholic church he never made any arrests. Later, the dissociate and the Chief and me became very close with one another.
At age eight, after the many beatings this pedophile priest had endured by the hands of this fellow dissociate friend of mine and by the Chief himself(pedophiles are pathetic, they keep comong and coming back), he was finally killed. He was electrocuted with 110 volts and a bucket of water poured over him.
In 1968 the Chief died of cancer. It broke my dissociating heart. In 1970 the dissociate friend died of a heart attack. My dissociative heart was broken again. My two elderly neighbors who created this problem for me (they were dedicated church goers who unwittingly fed me to these two pedophiles), they were so concerned about their church's integrity than of my own health (they never told anybody, including my parents, about the situation), when they died it didn't break my dissociative heart.
My dissociative self was now alone by this time. Nobody knew what happened except for the catholic church and a criminal investigation record which the police Chief had recorded and placed hidden inside his personal files for my future.
In 1976 I enlisted into the Marine Corps. At bootcamp I was diagnosed with MPD.
When the Marine Corps made attempts to help me they discovered that it was too risky. Memory recalling was too dangerous, my brain would short out and this would shut down body vitals. The Marine Corps decided that it would be better to keep my problem a secret for my well being. The doctors told me I would have to overcome this obstacle a little at a time over the years, mainly when I come down with PTSD they told me.
The Marine Corps kept me though. Because of medical reasons I was unable to enlist as a full time Marine (I would forget I was a Marine and go AWOL all the time). Instead I became a reservist and my Marine superiors would contact me and trigger me, and off I went for trainings. "I'm going camping" I would tell my family. They never knew what I was doing. (I was placed in the 32nd MAU, which was the unit that prototyped and designed the 22nd MAU. In 2001, I had a reunion with some former Marine comrades. They helped wake me up. In 1990 though was when I overcame the problem in trying to recall traumatic memory. My brain convulsions no longer existed and so it was easy to reclaim memory.
Today I still have PTSD, and yes I still diisociate at times. PTSD is a hard pill to swallow, but dissociating is wonderful, I feel alive!
My problem I'm having today, PTSD is ruining me at a faster pace in my older age. It's going to kill me with stress if I don't receive the help I need. The help I need today is total relaxation. I need to get into a car and drive and explore the world. I need to slow down with my mind dwellings. I need to retire. This is going to happen soon too. The criminal investigation records which my former police Chief had hidden in his files is now open. The Marine Corps was also contacted and they are also now involved. The police and others involved with my case are being careful with me at the moment. They are coming into contact with me a little at a time slowly. I keep dissociating with them darnit!;) I did discover that the catholic church had set aside money for me years ago for compensation, and I will be getting this money within a year or so according to what I was told. I'm going to buy that car and quit my job, and yes I won't be homeless in my future.
I could have written a lot about my life here in this posting, but I don't have the grammar or time to write a book.
To explain basically about my disorder, I had so many alter personalities I can't count them. Some of them were complete personalities as like they were another person and others were simple task doers. I did have a personality that got me into trouble though. I had a vengeance personality that would not give up. It never got me into trouble with the law but it did make many enemies.
I'll talk about my life some more later in this forum, in order to try to help others.