Discussions By Condition: Medical Stories

depression, anxiety, fear, paranoia, delusions and drug use

Posted In: Medical Stories 0 Replies
  • Posted By: sunlight
  • February 22, 2013
  • 04:46 AM

A heavy title. But these are things ive experienced. Ive had a very deeply rooted battle with feeling depression and very bad anxiety for years, I am 19 now and when I was 17 it was so bad I was even hospitalized more then once for it. Then about one year ago exactly I really started to party, and took alot of drugs with heavy drinking. Mostly mdma and ecstacy, but I also did ketamine, pcp, ghb, 2ce, acid, mushrooms, many different things. Im a really sensitive being, and a lot of the trips I had I almost don't feel ive come down. Small and large things in the corner of my eye I often think are things that its not, as if I was on mushrooms or something. I have a lot of flashbacks. In September I drank a whole bunch of liquid thc and a little bit of mdma and it was by far the worst experience of my life. I hallucinated more intensely then I ever had in my entire life, I thought I was gonna die and someone should of taken me to the hospital because my heart rate was completely insane but we were in the middle of the desert travelling and the people around me just didn't understand. I was passed out after for literally 40 hours straight, 2 days and 2 nights I was asleep. And after this I have felt myself on the edge of reality. Able to touch, in and out, with complete insanity. Spirulina and magnesium combined do magic for me, really helps. But its not enough. The winter months are among me and im experiencing general anxiousness, borderlining depression, im afraid of everything, I am so paranoid that I have been thinking that my parents are going to kill me, and im actually afraid of it. And im also paranoid that I have some repressed fear of being sexually abused by someone in my family, and its giving me this deep lack of trust for those closest to me and irritability toward them. I have such bad mood swings and an extent of hypochondria, im always afraid I have a brain tumour or something or something equally as devastating. What can I do to heal my body of such intense drug abuse, my mind of paranoia and fear of insanity?

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