I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 4 months ago now. I was in an abusive relationship, was working more than 10 hours a day without breaks, wasn't sleeping and was starting to see things. The world was a different colour, there were ghosts around and i had irrepressable energy despite the lack of sleep. I had had episodes like this in the past, usually triggered by stress leading to a lack of sleep. I was given everything from antidepressants to antipsychotics to control the episodes, but the antidepressants always failed and i was never given a diagnosis other than "Agitated Depression"... until recently. I was completely incapacitated at the time, ended up in a crisis respite unit and spent day after day lying on my bed, staring at the roof unwilling and unable to eat sleep or move.
I was medically advised to take some time off, quit my job, was put on the sickness benefit and returned to live with my parents with my tail well between my legs. Lithium and prozac have me relatively stable, but i have no passion, i don't know what to do with myself or my life and i can't see a future. The prospect of working again terrifies me. I'm 21. My life should have just started but i feel like it might as well end. Please help. I just don't know what to do.