I am stuggling alot these days. I started having mental health problems (Anxiety/Depression) about 3 years ago. I am currently having the worst episode. I struggle with anxiety but I felt it was 'managable' to a certain degree. I have been given Propranolol and I was on Citalopram for about a year and a half. About three weeks ago I think I had a panic attack while at work, I felt faint and shaky and couldn't do anything. I panic about how I am going to get home (to safety where people don't see me struggling?!). I do hide my feelings infront of people as I think people judge and it makes me quite self-conscious if people know (the few people that do). I am only totally open with my family, especially my mum who was hospitalised with schizophrenia when she was my age, so there is a family history of mental illness.
I'll get to my concerns. I have had to take alot of time off work and had to admit to my boss that I was struggling with anxiety. I find that my mind is foggy and I feel like my brain is 'ill' 24/7. It feels like i'm living a nightmare. I battle throughout the days and I try soo hard to think positive. I find it hard to concentrate and I feel like I'm having a mental breakdown which scares me. My memory is suffering badly now. I was given Diazepam for a week but I'm going back again to my doctors as I really need more help. 40 mg of Propranolol 3 times a day isn't helping. I am on a waiting list to see a councellor. I think alot of my problems stem from thinking too much and worrying about what might happen instead of just living my life. My parents got divorced and my mum is now struggling alot financially (she doesn't work) and I feel quite burdened by it. I live in a shared flat as neither my parents live in town, or have a bed for me. I do find it ******n my own as a single woman and i'm not enjoying living in the flat (i'm tied to a 6 month lease)
I have had high blood pressure (140+) for a year and a half. I am on the pill (Femodene) but have not been taken off it, though it might be the cause. I think my doctor probably thinks it's just anxiety. For a while I did think it might be physical but I've never had any tests.
A big help sometimes is reading forums and realising I'm not the only one who feels like this. I was just wondering if anyone had any advice to help or knows what i'm talking about?