My Prozac Problem, Function and Theory
Hi there! Second thread on here. And yep it's about the drug Prozac. I have quite a bit to say about it. First, i've been on it for 8 years now. My thread on Borderline Personality Disorder Misdiagnosis explains the whole story. But in short, I had to be put on it in order to function more normal. Prior to taking it, i had severe panic attacks, anxiety and yes, suicidal thoughts. So the docs put me on Prozac; a drug they claimed to me that would treat whatsoever illness that i have.
The drug did calm my nerves; however i am wondering now years later, just how much of it was a psychological dependence?. I noticed that my strongest change of state of mind occured in the moment that i was feeling terrible anxiety or out of control feelings; i would pop my daily pill as prescribed, and within minutes i would begin to calm down. After years of doing this i've begun to wonder what's really going on here.
Within the last year, i have been wanting to be off my medication. I currently do not have health care insurance. I have been labeled with the pre existing condition, BPD. i receive my prescription from a small hospital that helps out people in my type of situation. I have taken it for the last 8 years 20mg of fluoxetine pill form one a day. It has never been altered. The only alterations have been my sorry attempts of trying to quit and feeling terrible withdrawl symptoms after a week or so; and life's circumstances just always get more complicated when you try to quit your meds..lol. So i jumped the bandwagon once again.
Luckily, a family member of mine is going to take me this week in to see their doctor. This is a miracle really! I am going to see if i can switch to tablet form and find out if it is possible for me to gradually lower my dosages over time, and ween myself completely free of Prozac!
Now for the details about Prozac: First of all, i am very lucky that i was not placed on medications as a child. VERY VERY VERY LUCKY! I recently watched two documentaries: The Medicated Child and Generation Rx. I watched these because my step son's birth mother decided to get him checked for his hyperactivity. And sure enough the docs prescribed him with ADHD and ODD. And then they put the 9 year old boy on Aderall. So naturally, i did as much research and presented all the facts about psycho stimulant drugs and children, the whole works. And after one month his mother took him off Aderall thankfully!
The documentary Generation Rx began to discuss Prozac half way through the presentation. What i was seeing was surprizing to me. I believe a major issue for the people that had such horrible experiences on the drug, was because they should never have been put on it. They developed thoughts and feelings while on prozac, that kinda reflect the behaviors that i had prior to me taking prozac. Before i took prozac, i was an absolute mess. What the drug did for me is it numbed me. And now after 8 years of this "numbification", i am ready to feel my true feelings again. Prozac served its purpose for me. The last 8 years for me has been a journey of recovery from childhood trauma.
The drug sedated me in a way that helped me function day to day;..... But here is the kicker for today, 8 years later. I believe the Prozac now has lost its affect on me. And there is no way in a million years that i would ever think to increase my dosage. Infact my body has been responding strangely to the usual 20mg dosage. I think i am experiencing similar feelings of what some of the users claimed feeling in the Generation Rx documentary. I have been experiencing large amounts of anxiety suddenly for no reason at all, almost on the verge of panic. I have been extremely irritable and impatient. I have felt violent, had violent thoughts. And I have had feelings of strong anger come up over the smallest of everyday things.
I think something has changed in my mind and body chemistry, hormones, and/or maybe i've just outgrown the drug?. It seems the prozac is now creating panic and angry feelings in me, that are not from my own making. Where as years ago, the prozac masked my own feelings (so i could function without the panic and angry feelings taking over me). This sounds really strange, but i think i'm onto something here.
I believe that i can be free of Prozac. I wish to withdraw from the drug properly; cutting cold turkey has severe effects, take my word! I do not trust the drug in the long run. I have used it as my crutch to function the last 8 years, and all the while i have not felt good about what this drug is ultimately doing to me. It helped me during a time that i couldn't handle my feelings. But now, i am in a new place with my old feelings that spawned me to take Prozac in the first place.....
If anyone has any suggestions on alternative medicene to Prozac, substantial facts about Prozac's pro's and con's to the human body, please share.