Discussions By Condition: Medical Errors

I don't know what to do?

Posted In: Medical Errors 4 Replies
  • Posted By: Anonymous
  • March 2, 2007
  • 07:42 PM

Hi. I recently split with my husband (we don't live together) and in my very early 30's. I am feeling really tortured because I have poured my heart to him and he doesn't even respond with a "no it's definitely over". I think that is worse. My stomach is in knots and I can't stop myself from crying. I am ok when I am at work, but really don't know how long this is going to last. I know I am strong, but when I can't crontrol the terrible feeling in my stomache and the urge to cry where I am just so sad I dont know what to do next. I think the heartache is mixed with anger where he ignores me and that can't help me. Can you help?

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4 Replies:

  • Go see a counselor or psychologist. You need to get help.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
  • this is the most human of problems,and i think your psychology studies have just begun,with the theme being self observation.only the best,most loving people go through it,and the more loving they are,the worse it feels and the longer it takes.but you are not alone,though experiencing yourself as alone is probably a necessary part of it.keep your dignity,avoid those false friends,alcohol and drugs,and do not ask for advice.if there was a way to mitigate your suffering i would tell you.do you doubt it?only two things help,a little.try to think of the experience as a humanising one which will leave your capacity for love developed and enhanced.as one which is growing you as a person.and not ,not painful. this is only a social convention,and not helpful.rather think of it and try to experience it as a poignant intense sweetness,with aspects of deep sorrow,that connects you to all humanity.as something, above all ,not trivial!one more thing:remind yourself that"this too will pass".in time you will develop countervailing strengths,and it will seem increasingly as if it is something which has happened to another person,long ago.how long will it take?how long was it developing? it will take as long to go as it did to grow and it is important that you do not get mixed up in some compensatory rebound relationship until you are genuinely fit.from the state you appear to be in i cant see that taking less than five years.use that time to train and develop so that when you are fit for real love you are some use. and one last caution.......you will be familiar with the concept of operant conditioning:with that in mind reconsider the whole event ,with its aversive outcome,as an emotional mistake not to be repeated.never again put your emotional safety in the hands of another.none of us can carry that burden,and as you can see ,we break.love with an element of retained self next time;dont mix your identities.remain a distinct lover,as yourself!remember that people die ,and it is a great comfort to the dying partner to know that the survivor will survive emotionally! "lerve"is best left to kids who dont have to face facts!all my thoughts with you :alone but not alone!
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
  • What a lovely reply thank you so very much. Every thing you have said made so much sense to me. My dad passed away of cancer a couple of years go and If I have learnt to live with that tremendous loss, then I can be strong and learn from this too and be a better person at the end of it. x.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
  • your in love and love hurts trust me I know, But the best way to get over it is with god, praying, and you have to get a new sense of life. There is love cure for love sickness, so you have to bear you now, have to find out the most comfortable way for you to get threw.best of luckNCBALLPLAYA13
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
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