This is my life now lay in bed practically 24 hours a day.i have to prepare myself mentally just to get up for a few seconds . When I'm not I'm in the bathroom then I lay back in bed. I just cannot believe how my Life has hit the brakes. I remember before all of this I was under a huge amount of stress. I couldn't handle it .perhaps that made my body malfunction. Whatever this is I'm only 28 years young female with all my life ahead of me and and to live like a 90 year old on there death bed is not a way to live. I just keep telling myself you will make it . It seems like whatever is the cause it effects every cell and process if the body to go haywire. I believe I had my thyroid tested. I just literally felt exhausted and spaced out 2 1/2 months ago and it has manifested into being bed ridden and so bad mental fog I can barley think. I do notice whenever I eat anything my brain gets 'lit on fire' have lost the ability to drive and im practicality living like a 'lizard ' with sloth movements. My quality of life has been reduced to 10 percent of what it was. I lay in bed starring out the window most of the day and reading online or getting non refreshing sleep.
Every test so far has comes back normal .who can help ? just taking a shower is traumatizing the water seems to hurt and i feel faint when standing up but I wonder what's going on in my system .
Why was I a healthy normal person a little while ago and now this practically overnight? It's so frustrating. I want my health back. How can anyone be alive and feel so unhuman at the same time? I'm afraid I will die my sleep so I keep the light on. Everyday I feel so weak and its a constant struggle to stay alive. As depressing as it may sound i told everyone if i dont find a cure goodbye . I even stayed in the hospital for a week ran every test imaginable. With no avail. They just sent me home with a prescription to an anti anxiety med . The dr said its all in my head. And to get up and start running around .that was the biggest joke of my life. I told him if I could would I be here ? wonder where these drs. Get there education. ??? I also notice how reality is distorted now and everything looks as though I'm on something even though I never did acid I can imagine it would look like this. Nothing seems real. It's so bizarre .light is so bright and sounds. The brain fog is the absolute worst. I cannot comprehend as much as I use to. For an example when I open up a cabinet to get food out of it I know there is a cabinet there but I cannot tell what I am looking at. It's the most scary thing in the world to have my cognitive impairment get this severely affected for unknown reasons that wont show up on labs .my memory is horrible. I won't be able to remember what happens 2 seconds ago. And I use to be able to comprehend the television and I just stare blankly at it. Nothing goes in. I wish I would watch movies still but if I watch them and you ask me what's going on. . I have no clue. And even worse Not being able to connect to people places or animals .it feels like all my "feel good" brain chemicals shorted out. I use to love nature and people and pets now I feel nothing or flat when someone hugs me or I see my dog . I want to care but it seems I am unable for some reason. I don't even sleep anymore I pass out in pain and wake up in pain 24/7 not being able to use my mind. I feel like I am in prison in my own mind and body. This is not a poor mans disease . I am disabled and I cannot afford a holistic treatment center that I know could probably cure this or provide some sort of relieve . I just want some hope. My body keeps going on and wants to live its taking me for a ride and its such a mind game waking up everyday being bed ridden . I had to temporally move back home to live with my parents for help but I don't think they know how much pain I am in mentally and physically toture every second of the day . Since coming here I've seem to have gotten worse . i am out of options and not sure what to do. I've been to so many drs. My mom takes me . i am thankful for her .Just getting in a car almost does me in like I feel I am going to pass out in pain when sitting up in the car ride. All I can think about is getting back home to lay down in the bed . I don't want to be bed bound but too weak to function anymore. I don't want to give up. I want to fight this every second of the day I feel like such a zombie and half way in a coma. How did this happen from being normal? And no one can find an answer or cure ? Am I supposed to live like this for the rest of my life ? I get so low and wonder . It's a nightmare reality .my vision is blurry and my body screams for help. I haven't found anything to help. I tried magnesium ,vitamins,b12 ,vitamin d ,iron tabs.tylenol These things seem to make me feel worse .i am EXTREMELY SENSITIVE to everything. It's odd I cannot even use little things like deodorant .
I've spent hours looking up drs. To go do. . You would be surprise how much mental energy goes into just googling dr.s and making an appointment . It's like the life is sucked out of me and when I finally do get an appointment it's about 2 months from now. And I know I will have to have a painful car ride there blood drawn for them to say everything is alright. But just laying in bed is accepting defeat. I've seen a neurologist , rhemotologist , regular dr.s natural dr.s .
If I am alive now there must be a cure right?
Something is serious wrong i know my own body and its scary
Multiple things going wrong in body?
I have become so sick and ill with something
and suffering from the past 3months progressively worse and
feel so sick something is making me very ill I had to move back
Home with parents .cant rely on my self anymore .too weak to comb hair
Hair falling out
Dry flaky skin
Troubling and scary symptoms as there where not here 3 months ago
Distorted thinking to the point I walk down my stairs in my house
and have No clue where I am.
24/7My head feels underwater
Debilitating Neuritis, forgetfulness, depressions, , memory lost, panic attacks, less patience and concentration, brain fog
Too weak to dress myself or dive
Thoughts are blurry
Feeling totally out of it as if
Hooked up to a constant iv of drugs
Disconnect between vision brain and hand
Thoughts are not connecting
Dizzy sun sensitive
Head hurts and neck sensitive pressure
Extreme brain fog
Weakness ,feeling faint
Human conscious should not feel this way
Don't feel like my personality is the same
Head feels heavy
Feel like I'm going to pass out
Heart beating strange really low
And palpitations during night
Things look off
It's hard to tell whats real
Colors seem off
Its hard to judge angles depth ect.
Static sound ringing in ears
Trouble forming even a thought
My hands and legs don't seem to be attached to me.
Hard to judge movement
I slip in and out of consciousness all day
Senses are dulled
It's strange but I feel like I'm not in my body
None refreshing sleep
I don't feel connected to my body
I know I'm at home but everything seems unreal
Lost connection to people places things
Head feels like its splitting open
Weak immune system sensation
Bed ridden practically
Symptoms came on gradually two months ago around sept 2013
Past week and a half nov.22 symptoms are worse and wont seem to lift
Before this I was an outgoing fun loving lots of energy hobbies love being around people places
Trying new things. Now I feel like a shell of former self. I had to move back to my parents and relay completely on them , I am thankful of there help. But I want to be a strong independent person again. I lay in bed looking out the window wondering what this might be everyday and pray it gets better and someone with the knowledge can help.
Or go away very frustrating and scary
Horrible horrible Brain fog / feeling drunk 24/7
Difficulty concentrating/memory horrible cognitive impairment
memory and learning issues, short gaps in time, clumsy speech, loss of creativity and problem solving skills, forgetfulness, depression, and general confusion among other brain fog symptoms
Lost the able to drive
Sensitive to light
Personality change .not creative lost of interest barley able to socialize
I feel my immune system is depleted
Feel something like heavy" cotton "in my head
Horrible Pressure around and behind ears felt at all times
Crying easily symptoms get overwhelming
Feeling like a shadow of former self
Anxiety, panic attacks. ,crying about 9 times a day because so overwhelmed with symptoms .
Feeling "hollow" inside
Can't handle life's stressors
Feeling no joy feel my mood is flat
I sense I am no longer producing neurotransmitters no dopamine serotonin ect.
Brain feels like it shrunk
Every day task seem impossible (barley enough strength to bath)
Everything seems to hurt me
Extremely sensitive to sounds ,smells,noise
Sensitive to foods and supplements
My body has some sort of reaction to almost everything (I practically live in a bubble )