== Short version at the bottom of this post ==
Hello everyone. First of all I would like to say that I am grateful that there are places like this on the internet where people can talk about such topics.
My problem started a little over a month ago. I had gone on a holiday away from my home country to go and meet some of my friends on the other side of the world. I fell in love with a person I had been talking to on the internet for over a year and her and myself began to date. Over the next coming weeks we progressed through our relationship together at quite a fast pace. This was both our decisions as we both have strong feelings for eachother and we liked keeping things real and spontaneous.
When we first had sex a little over a month ago I only had a few small problems
The first was getting the condom on. I had never had to use a condom and actually getting one on was a REAL trouble for me, I tried and tried and tried and after destroying 2 condoms by accident, (1 ripping and the other becoming too stretched) I thought of asking her to try but she was a virgin and had never even touched a condom before so when she tried she just fumbled. I finally got the third on and we made love.
At that first time of having sex between the two of us. I had no problems sustaining my erection and I was able to **m at the same time with my girl. I thought that, that was how things were going to stay.
But the next the we had sex. Which happened 2 weeks after. I had huge problems maintaining my erection. I could put the condom on no worries (I'd worked that out) but my penis just shark dramatically right in front of her I didn't feel anxious at the time or anything! I was happy and satisfied that we were getting to make love again and all I could do was watch my second in command go limp right before my eyes... It was probably the most embarrassing moment in my life. My girlfriend then asked me "Would you like some Oral" and I said sure so she did and after around 15 minutes I was hard and ready again but only perhaps 2/3 of the size that I was when I actually got the condom on. This made me start to feel anxious again and sure enough while we were having sex I lost my erection and we stopped. I then make her satisfied by fingering as to allow me to remove some of the anxiety I had.
This is now totally on-going. We've had sex 4 more times now and I have this problem always.
At the start I have a fully erect penis it is a little bit of a trouble to get the condom on because I'm so big but I end up being able to manage. It goes on and by the time it goes on (usually takes around 7 - 14 seconds) I'm half limp. I then need to either finger my girlfriend (which greatly turns me on) for around 5 minutes and even if I do that I've lost 2/3 of my full sized erection in doing so. We have sex and I can last about 15 - 20 minutes without going limp. I am also unable to be able to climax. This is both extremely frustrating and embarrassing beyond belief. I feel like I cannot please my girlfriend at all and up until yesterday I had been unable to make her **m except for that 1 time where we first had sex and she lost her virginity to me. However yesterday I was able to find her G-Spot and give her an orgasm by stimulating it. She had a huge orgasm and I was able to feel a little less anxious.
However I still feel that I really suck at having sex. The person I lost my virginity to and I never had this problem together EVER. I was always up for having sex and so was she, she was absolutely horrible at giving oral but made me feel really comfortable during sex so much so that I was able to climax almost every time we had sex. Other times I had to stop after around 40 minutes before I got far too exhausted. But even when I was exhausted I was easily able to keep my erection without even noticing it.
Before this gets too long and you all regret reading it I will more or less end it here. I love my current girlfriend to death and I would do anything for her, but I can only make her **m with my hands. I'm good with my mouth she says and we do ample amounts of foreplay before we have sex to the point where she is so turned on and practically begging me to make love to her. Any man would see that as a huge turn on but for me, at that time I'm usually limp or only half erect. So much so that she can't even give me oral properly.
At a full erection when masturbating I can get myself to 6.5 Inches which I am really proud of.
When having sex I can only really achieve an erection of about 2 thirds of that.
Lately I have been thinking that my reasons for losing my erection could be based over a number of things including:
1. Using condoms every time we have sex when beforehand I had never used a condom because we took other precautions and measures for birth control.
2. Sex feels slightly less stimulating and enjoyable with the condom.
3. Sex feels a little more painful with the condom.
4. My current girlfriend is 16 (I am 18) and she is 2 years younger then the girl I lost my virginity too.
5. I have been masturbating very regularly since I have been with my current girl and when I was with my ex I only masturbated once.
A short version of my problem:
I am unable to maintain an erection for longer then 15 minutes.
I have ZERO problems getting an erection when I want to masturbate and I can easily achieve my full size and turn myself on extremely quickly from watching ***n.
I never had this problem with the other 2 people I have had sex with before I met my current girlfriend.
I don't usually feel anxious when in the process of having sex. But for some reason I lose my erection just after putting the condom on and it is never the full size after. (Only around 2/3 of my full size).
I have to either finger my girlfriend or play with her breasts to be able to give myself an erection after I have put the condom on or I have to let her give me oral WITH the condom on to be able to achieve my erection again.
It goes without saying that this is mortifying and frustrating.
So can anyone give me any help on this subject as I would love to be able to please my love in every way possible and sex is very important to me.
Lastly I will say that as of today I have made a resolution to stop masturbating as I see that I do it too often (around 1 - 3 times a day max) and it is really only something to do when you are alone (which I am not often) and when you are single (which I am not) and also to help you with finding out what turns you on (I already know all the things that turn me on) and discovering your sexuality (I'm 100% straight so I know that already too). Hopefully this will allow me to be able to retain my erection longer as I wont be continuously and without fail pleasing myself whenever I feel ****y. Which is quite often.
Once again sorry for the massively long post and thanks much for any help at all.
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