Firstly you should know I'm a 20 yr old male virgin.
My sexual problems first arose when i was 15. My first form of sexual activity was at a friends party. I had been kissing a girl that night and then she asked to go for a walk. I knew what she wanted and was happy to oblige. I had already consumed quite a lot of alcohol at that stage and its no surprise that when she attempted to engage in oral sex with me i was unable to get an erection.
I didn't realise the effects alcohol had on impotency at that stage and was rather worried and embarrassed by what had occurred. A few months later, similar situation, alcohol involved again (but not a lot) and again the same result.
By this stage I'm probably 16 and extremely worried as all my friends are already sexually active and are asking about me. Ive had at least three other experiences where I've been in the position to have sex but wasn't able to arouse myself with all situations ending in complete embarrassment for me.
In the last few years I had all but given up on having sex choosing to ignore the situation and hoping it would happen when I met a girl I liked enough.
Just recently I met someone I'm very interested in and i would like to do everything like a normal relationship. She is interested and although we haven't attempted yet i have noticed when we are close that I'm still not able to get aroused.
I have been talking to my close friends now about it for the past few years as I couldn't hide it from them. We have discussed all things in detail and have determined that my masturbation life is completely normal and my body seems to function in every way similar to theirs.
A friend recently decided that i had a 'phobia' to sex now that I've been avoiding it for so long and have such low self esteem issues when it comes to sex.
I really want to be able to sleep with person but i don't know how to solve this problem.
The best solution offered to me so far is to take Viagra until i get enough self esteem to not be afraid. However I don't want to have to see a doctor about it and I'm not even sure if Viagra is considered acceptable for my condition.
Please can anyone suggest anyway to help me get over this hurtle.
And also please don't say:
-just try it with your girlfriend
-wait until your ready
I have tried all of these and all have failed