You lived through a childhood of fear, punishment, abuse,mental anguish and sometimes thoughts or attempts to end it all. The years drag on, and each new year is never happy, but filled with a new game your sick, wicked parent surprises you with.
Did you lie,invent or alter everything imagineable, for the hope thjat nobody would find out just how terrifying,disturbing & real these unspeakable horrors were to you everyday?
The shame, guilt, fear, confusion and sadness was prevelant in me. I tried to hide it with humor, teasing, and alot of self dobut, that was disguised as confidence or self esteem.
Somehow even that wasn't the worst, It was not the beatings, followed with threats, more abuse & blame that hurt so bad, as the tool of the devil himself. Using a sibling against another, either by telling you that if you are bad that they are going to get it, or telling each of you that the other doesn't love you & that is why they blame you or lie or create the abuse for you in some way.
Hospitals, police, rages, attacks, lies, mental anguish.... is all part of your everyday life.
Now an adult, you see the damage. How has it changed your world? How do you cope? Did it corrupt you, or make yopu strong in some way?
I felt all alone for so long, & even though I have been married for 25 years to a terrific man, I feel lonesome & empty & useless alot of the time.
I would love to share experiences, insights, etc!!!!!