Discussions By Condition: Injury

ASSULT - please someone help

Posted In: Injury 19 Replies
  • Posted By: Anonymous
  • February 19, 2007
  • 03:15 AM

Hi please i know that this is a medical site, and that i'm about to talk about violence, but it stems from a medical issue. i'm running out of ideas and this is the only place i can think of to put this stuff down.

I'm an epileptic and suffer from a horrendous amount of seizures. My hubby who has always been supportive of them just can't handle them anymore i dont think. Last night during a seizure he got so frustrated at my body not doing what he wanted it to do that he smashed my head into the bed frame. He hits me when i start shaking, and shakes me if i have trouble breathing. If its a grand mal and i'm unconcious he's told me he leaves the room and lets me hit my head and thrash around and spit-up all over myself because if he watches me or tries to put a pillow under my head or something he goes balistic and and i wake up again covered in bruises.

I really want to believe that he's just traumatised by the events. its not like he lies to me about it, he's never blamed my bruises on falling into things while seizing, although that's what we tell me friends and family.

Last few days though i feel he's really losing it and becoming violent. Like seriously violent. Not just last night has he seriously hit me. A few nights ago I was upset and crying and I had a petite seizure (not even a biggy) and he stood me up and threw me accross the room and i passed out mid throw. He says he had to recusitate me. But sometimes he has to do this after a seizure anyway.

He's reallly scaring me, but I'm scared for him more than anything. How must he be feeling inside to do these things? He says that i scare him and he's seen me seize for 2 1/2 years now. Is it just getting all too much for him? SHould i get him some help? Should I leave? What should I do?

Please someone, anyone I'm so confused and scared. I love my hubby but He has me so scared for both our safetys right now.

please someone answer back with some advice

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19 Replies:

  • My husband is epileptic and has luckily only had one grandmal seizure in the twelve years we've been married. It was the scariest thing I've ever seen and he seized for 8 minutes with no brain damage. But, I had never seen anyone ever have a seizure. I got my neighbor real quick because I didn't want to be alone and she was a medical expert, then we called 911 to get the oxygen going. Does you husband know he's supposed to be timing the seizures? i found out anything passed 3 minutes is dangerous and he came out ok. I remember rubbing his head and trying to hold him because I feared he was going to die on me and I just didn't want to be with out him. Anyway one of the EMT's yelled at me and told me to leave him alone and don't even talk to him cuz I could of set off another seizure. I thought, "Who the ***l are you" telling me not to touch my husband. That made me so made. I felt so sorry for him and after I saw him go through that it actually brought us closer together. It is scary having a seizure. My husband takes depakote @ 250 mg- but had gone off of it because he was labeled not a true epileptic and was on the meds as a precautionary. Now, we know for certain he is. the doc's tols me in the E.R. there's nothing they can do for the seizures except to time them and get oxygen right away as you lose it through your muscles when seizing. Instead of beating you up he should be calling an ambulance for oxygen. This is not a part of marriage vows- "For sickness and health". What ever happened to that? Beating you up when your sick is definately not compassion. Why is he beating you up- does he think he's able to stop the seizures??? He should be holding your hand at your very side walking you through every minute of it. That's not right sweetie. He could do so much more brain damage to you or even kill you. Can you leave and go stay with your parents??? In your situation you need help, not someone to make it worse. I'm not fond of divorce, but you know what I'd tell him where to go and make sure you have a back up plan. If you lived close to me I'd take you in myself- I feel so bad for you. Are you aware he's beating you up during these seizures??? I wouldn't stick around. Does he call for an ambulance when you do seize??? Does he help you get cleaned up after a seizure???
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • February 19, 2007
    • 06:06 PM
    • 0
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  • Leave, leave, leave, leave, leave, leave, just leave him and go to your parents before it gets worse. don't be ashamed to talk to you parents about it. If it were me I'd be at mt Mom's in a heart beat. No man or women deserves to be beat up like that. You parents would be glad to know your safer with them, then having to attend your funeral. Do you see what I'm saying???? Just get out of there and quick.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • February 19, 2007
    • 06:15 PM
    • 0
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  • It's me again, I would make like I was going on a shopping trip with my Mom and make it real. Then don't come back again and stay with them. I would go back with my father to get my belongings. Don't worry about being loney there are plenty of men out there that don't have an anger problem and don't beat people up. You will find someone to love you the right way. Just get out quietly and don't take anything other than your meds and purse and remember your going shopping with your Mom and it's for real and your not coming home to him and let your Dad help you with the rest. They can help you with the leagalistics later after things calm down, but get out now before it happens again. There may not be a next time. Keep us posted.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • February 19, 2007
    • 07:12 PM
    • 0
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  • report the situation! You only have one life. If you don't.. I will.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • February 19, 2007
    • 11:05 PM
    • 0
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  • Um, He does help with cleaning me up and stuff. And normally he's really good with helping wake me up and holding my handand things like that. He found out that I posted on here. And I thought he'd be really angry. but he wasn't. He was really proud of me. And said that he knew it was wrong and that he just lost the plot and that there was no excuse for it and it was a mistake and it wouldn't happen again. He was late coming home from work because he bought me a brand new guitar to appologise (I'm a muso). I was so sick that next day that I practically lay in bed all day apart from my one post on here. And he comes home with a present for me and a heart felt appology. No I can't really go stay with my parents because the epilepsy requires 'care' and my oldies have an incredibly busy schedual. My hubbbys hours work around what times I mostly require help. And his boss is incedibly flexible with him needing time off now and then. I couldn't get that with m&d. I really want to believe that he means that he's sorry. That he knows it was wrong. That he was traumatised. I had another seizure last night, a big one, and a friend of ours was there to help who knows cpr, and i was told he just held me and cried once it was all over until i woke up again. Does that sound like a violent man to you?
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • February 20, 2007
    • 02:23 AM
    • 0
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  • Pleese guys, I'm not making excuses for him, I'm just really not sure!?
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • February 20, 2007
    • 04:54 AM
    • 0
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  • I still leave-once would be enough for me. Thats all it takes. Oh........the gift giving after a beating or two. That's a familiar tune... and a pattern of abuse. My Dad used to buy my Mom roses by the dozen and the prettiest lingerie outfits from the fancy stores as a peaceoffering, then a month later back to the old ways again. And finally, she left. And I'll tell you nobody felt sorry for him, we still don't. I'd bother my parents even if they had a busy schedule. I'd start from fresh ground.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • February 20, 2007
    • 02:45 PM
    • 0
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  • if he had hit you on your first date,would there have been a second?
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • February 24, 2007
    • 00:18 AM
    • 0
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  • has anything settled down sweety? keep as up to date hey?
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
  • WOAH "he smashed my head into the bed frame" I'm sorry but any time the words "he smashed my head into the bed frame" is involved, I tend to hope for the story to end with "so I left him forever."I understand that there is an impending world of fear out there. But know this: nothing out in this vastly terrifing filthy world we share is half as scarry as knowing the one person that should be protecting you is trying to kill you. I repeat: He's trying to kill you. He weeps and hold your hand when a witness is present, and HE SMASHES YOUR HEAD INTO THE BED FRAME when nobody is around. If you are still alive to read this post, get your ****ing guitar, and go impose on ANYBODY, but get out of there. Nobody will convict a "bereaved" husband who just lost his wife to a head injury she experienced durring a seisure. I'm pretty sure that's what he's counting on. GET OUT or he'll kill you.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
  • im sorry i dont know much about seizures, but i think you should leave your house immeadiately! if you are having a seizure, then someone who is supposed to love and care for you, shouldnt and wouldnt hit your head into a bedframe!!! IF HE CARED ABOUT YOU AND "HOLDS YOUR HAND" NORMALLY, WHY WOULD HE DO SOMETHING AS CRUEL AND HEARTLESS AS THAT IN YOUR TIME OF NEED??! dear god woman, you should leave!!
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
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  • this a more common reaction than you would think. I had a seizure, and my partner just watched me repeatedly smack my head into the tiled floor before leaving the room yelling back at me that i deserved it for getting myself all worked up in the first place. Like it was my fault i *****d my pants too?sometimes its hard for our partners to understand and the best thing you can do is grab your stuff and leave. My partner used my seizures as an easy way for him to not have to hit me. Because if he waited long enough, i'd injure myself in a seizure, i'm sure he was waiting for that day I'd stop breathing, and all he had to do was pretend to not notice. He even acted cold infront of our friends, which is how i got out.GET OUT! YOUR DUDE IS WACKED!
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
  • Your story is simply heartbreaking! You absolutely must leave this relationship. You have a serious medical condition and you are living with an abuser! The pattern of abuse is well known....abuse,remorse,reconciliation....then abuse, remorse,reconciliation. Your medical condition requires that you have loving, consistent, attentive care during a seizure, and you cannot count on this from your husband. Don't worry about your parents/friends/whoever having abusy schedule! Even a stranger would rearrange their schedule to help someone in need. GO TO YOU PARENTS IMMEDIATELY AND TALK ABOUT THIS PROBLEM. I know they will give you the assistance you need! Good luck, and stay safe!
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • September 9, 2007
    • 05:41 PM
    • 0
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  • Listen. Id like for you to leave this man. You are going through alot with all these seizures. Go live with your parents or friends who understand your problem, for a bit. He doesnt understand how it affects you. He may be there when you have them, but he does nothing for you, hes just violent. He needs quite a bit of help if he does violence towards people who have seizures, or just towards anyone in that matter. Please consider my advise. I would like you to get help. Get well (:
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • February 18, 2008
    • 10:38 PM
    • 0
    Flag this Response
  • this a more common reaction than you would think. I had a seizure, and my partner just watched me repeatedly smack my head into the tiled floor before leaving the room yelling back at me that i deserved it for getting myself all worked up in the first place. Like it was my fault i *****d my pants too? sometimes its hard for our partners to understand and the best thing you can do is grab your stuff and leave. My partner used my seizures as an easy way for him to not have to hit me. Because if he waited long enough, i'd injure myself in a seizure, i'm sure he was waiting for that day I'd stop breathing, and all he had to do was pretend to not notice. He even acted cold infront of our friends, which is how i got out. GET OUT! YOUR DUDE IS WACKED! im sorry but are you mental? i cant stand this! i hate when people reflect THEIR problems onto OTHER people "last night i got drunk and got into a car crash" Friend: "YEAH like that one time that i.." this is where i stop them and tell them to shut up im sorry but did you read the first post? her husband isnt WATCHING and LETTING it happen! he is SMASHING HER HEAD INTO A BED FRAME AND BEATING HER DURING SEIZURES get out in a natural way, because if you tell him your leaving chances are he WILL do something about it. get out. EDIT: im sorry i didn't mean any harm or to be mean... im just really angry about a lot of things right now. im very sorry.
    GivenUp 135 Replies Flag this Response
  • Please get out immediately. Do take important paperwork with you. If you have a joint bank account, withdraw your half of the money at least. File for separation right away. Get your friends to plan with you the week you leave. Have them at the ready the days before you leave and while you leave. Make sure you aren't alone. If you are still thinking of staying, think if you would EVER do what he's done to you. Think what if you had a daughter and her husband did this. Sometimes we lose perspective. I am so sorry for your situation. Please go somewhere (a church, a women's center, anywhere) and ask for help. And start telling the truth about how he treats you. This is not love. Maybe start by getting away for a week with a good friend. That time away may help you to be ready to leave him.I will keep you in my thoughts. I hope you will find you way free.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
  • Please take NOTE!!!ABUSE is ABUSE is ABUSE.. get out.. and call for help.. before he kills you.. ABUSE is ABUSE is ABUSE.. After you get out, you can then get help, first for yourself and then if he realizes.. him.. ABUSE is ABUSE is ABUSE.
    Skyhighnemo 22 Replies Flag this Response
  • Hi please i know that this is a medical site, and that i'm about to talk about violence, but it stems from a medical issue. i'm running out of ideas and this is the only place i can think of to put this stuff down.I'm an epileptic and suffer from a horrendous amount of seizures. My hubby who has always been supportive of them just can't handle them anymore i dont think. Last night during a seizure he got so frustrated at my body not doing what he wanted it to do that he smashed my head into the bed frame. He hits me when i start shaking, and shakes me if i have trouble breathing. If its a grand mal and i'm unconcious he's told me he leaves the room and lets me hit my head and thrash around and spit-up all over myself because if he watches me or tries to put a pillow under my head or something he goes balistic and and i wake up again covered in bruises.I really want to believe that he's just traumatised by the events. its not like he lies to me about it, he's never blamed my bruises on falling into things while seizing, although that's what we tell me friends and family.Last few days though i feel he's really losing it and becoming violent. Like seriously violent. Not just last night has he seriously hit me. A few nights ago I was upset and crying and I had a petite seizure (not even a biggy) and he stood me up and threw me accross the room and i passed out mid throw. He says he had to recusitate me. But sometimes he has to do this after a seizure anyway. He's reallly scaring me, but I'm scared for him more than anything. How must he be feeling inside to do these things? He says that i scare him and he's seen me seize for 2 1/2 years now. Is it just getting all too much for him? SHould i get him some help? Should I leave? What should I do?Please someone, anyone I'm so confused and scared. I love my hubby but He has me so scared for both our safetys right now.please someone answer back with some advice You have GOT to be kidding! Scared for him??? You should be scared for yourself. You are not on this earth to be someone's punching bag. The first time a man hits a woman, she should leave...even if it means leaving behind a "good" life, clothing, furniture, etc - at least you'll leave with your life. And a man -used loosely in this instance - who beats up on an ill woman is NOT a man. He's already stronger than you are and does not need to show his strength...YOUR SEIZURES HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH HIS BEHAVIOR. He's a ***k and a bully. LEAVE HIM TODAY. Contact anyone - your doctor, the police, the Epilepsy Foundation, a Social Worker, any agency designated to help - and get out. Call your family and ask for shelter, but, please, get away from him or you'll be dead before you know it. Think of yourself as a little girl who is at the mercy of a big and mean bully - your job is to protect the little girl within. You can and should find a way out. Let your fear motivate you as one day he just might throw you out of a window. Stop making excuses for him. Love does NOT hurt. What you feel for him is not love, could be dependency, could be that you have low self-esteem and feel he's the best you can get; but remember the old saying, you can do bad by yourself!There are organizations designed to assist abused women - yes, you are being abused. The statistics for him to change or for you to have longevity are not good. GET OUT!
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • August 13, 2009
    • 02:29 AM
    • 0
    Flag this Response
  • Hi please i know that this is a medical site, and that i'm about to talk about violence, but it stems from a medical issue. i'm running out of ideas and this is the only place i can think of to put this stuff down.I'm an epileptic and suffer from a horrendous amount of seizures. My hubby who has always been supportive of them just can't handle them anymore i dont think. Last night during a seizure he got so frustrated at my body not doing what he wanted it to do that he smashed my head into the bed frame. He hits me when i start shaking, and shakes me if i have trouble breathing. If its a grand mal and i'm unconcious he's told me he leaves the room and lets me hit my head and thrash around and spit-up all over myself because if he watches me or tries to put a pillow under my head or something he goes balistic and and i wake up again covered in bruises.I really want to believe that he's just traumatised by the events. its not like he lies to me about it, he's never blamed my bruises on falling into things while seizing, although that's what we tell me friends and family.Last few days though i feel he's really losing it and becoming violent. Like seriously violent. Not just last night has he seriously hit me. A few nights ago I was upset and crying and I had a petite seizure (not even a biggy) and he stood me up and threw me accross the room and i passed out mid throw. He says he had to recusitate me. But sometimes he has to do this after a seizure anyway. He's reallly scaring me, but I'm scared for him more than anything. How must he be feeling inside to do these things? He says that i scare him and he's seen me seize for 2 1/2 years now. Is it just getting all too much for him? SHould i get him some help? Should I leave? What should I do?Please someone, anyone I'm so confused and scared. I love my hubby but He has me so scared for both our safetys right now.please someone answer back with some advice You have GOT to be kidding! Scared for him??? You should be scared for yourself. You are not on this earth to be someone's punching bag. The first time a man hits a woman, she should leave...even if it means leaving behind a "good" life, clothing, furniture, etc - at least you'll leave with your life. And a man -used loosely in this instance - who beats up on an ill woman is NOT a man. He's already stronger than you are and does not need to show his strength...YOUR SEIZURES HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH HIS BEHAVIOR. He's a ***k and a bully. LEAVE HIM TODAY. Contact anyone - your doctor, the police, the Epilepsy Foundation, a Social Worker, any agency designated to help - and get out. Call your family and ask for shelter, but, please, get away from him or you'll be dead before you know it. Think of yourself as a little girl who is at the mercy of a big and mean bully - your job is to protect the little girl within. You can and should find a way out. Let your fear motivate you as one day he just might throw you out of a window. Stop making excuses for him. Love does NOT hurt. What you feel for him is not love, could be dependency, could be that you have low self-esteem and feel he's the best you can get; but remember the old saying, you can do bad by yourself!There are organizations designed to assist abused women - yes, you are being abused. The statistics for him to change or for you to have longevity are not good. GET OUT!
    Helen715 1 Replies
    • August 13, 2009
    • 02:44 AM
    • 0
    Flag this Response
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