Discussions By Condition: I cannot get a diagnosis.

Young South Asian Woman's Obsession

Posted In: I cannot get a diagnosis. 14 Replies
  • Posted By: Lasantha
  • April 10, 2008
  • 05:31 AM

The patient is a South Asian woman in her mid thirties who has a very fulfilling (from the partner’s observations) sexual relationship with her partner. She feels compelled to impulsively stare at White (European) men who may or may not be conventionally attractive. She is also impulsively attracted to fair-skinned males who may or may not be remarkable in appearance, and finds it virtually impossible to retract her persistent gaze, even in the presence of her loving partner.

She also has an explosive temper which often dissipates rather quickly. She seems never able to accept criticism and never accepts responsibility for her mistakes or other blame, even if the blame is justified or socially acceptable. Denial seems to extend to her emotional problems, where she has never acknowledged any personality disorder or other problem, despite sometimes experiencing depressive bouts where disappointment with aspects of society and life in general seem to be prominent.

She has a dominating personality and relentlessly holds on to notions of importance which others might view as arrogance and pride.

She is able to generally function socially, and has maintained employment for several years, and ‘gets on’ well with some understanding from colleagues, who would generally not have seen symptoms that could be professionally identified. She has generally been troubled by gastritis in recent years, and head-aches generally attributed to her medical condition.

I would like some feedback preferably from professionals according to MDS or similar diagnostic formats in the psychoanalytical or psychiatric fields.

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14 Replies:

  • sounds like a good movie character to me...most of us are not doctors here..
    Monsterlove 2921 Replies Flag this Response
  • Narcissistic Personality Dsorder. Not a DSM dx, but it seems to fit.
    aquila 1263 Replies Flag this Response
  • A spoiled child/woman who gets sick when she doesn't get her way.
    Beth56 272 Replies Flag this Response
  • Narcissistic Personality Dsorder. Not a DSM dx, but it seems to fit. I was tossing up between Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder, but is a definitive diagnosis possible when symptoms do not seem fully consistent with either? How much research data is there that might offer more evidence of the condition?
    Lasantha 8 Replies Flag this Response
  • It must be Lyme disease. I'm sure Lyme Disease must have some psychological symptoms. Let's label it Lyme.
    Beth56 272 Replies Flag this Response
  • Beth, people who think that every symptom posted points to the same one disease annoys me too. But this is beginning to feel like bear baiting.
    ruth40 55 Replies Flag this Response
  • Beth, people who think that every symptom posted points to the same one disease annoys me too. But this is beginning to feel like bear baiting.I agree. Frustration got the best of me. I apologize to all. :p Beth
    Beth56 272 Replies Flag this Response
  • Narcissistic Personality Dsorder. Not a DSM dx, but it seems to fit. You know...Aquila, you are the only person on this message board who "diagnosed" the condition I was concerned about, ("South Asian woman...") as narcissistic personality disorder..It seems like you are very close to the mark here, even by professional psychiatric standards. Although I have still to hear from "professionals" about clinical data, and especially the implications for sexual orientation or tendency towards promiscuity etc, your contribution helped me to further investigate on several web-sites and I am the wiser for it now. Thanks and best wishes...Do contribute more thoughts if you can..They will be greatly appreciated!! Lasantha
    Lasantha 8 Replies Flag this Response
  • The patient is a South Asian woman in her mid thirties who has a very fulfilling (from the partner’s observations) sexual relationship with her partner. She feels compelled to impulsively stare at White (European) men who may or may not be conventionally attractive. She is also impulsively attracted to fair-skinned males who may or may not be remarkable in appearance, and finds it virtually impossible to retract her persistent gaze, even in the presence of her loving partner. She also has an explosive temper which often dissipates rather quickly. She seems never able to accept criticism and never accepts responsibility for her mistakes or other blame, even if the blame is justified or socially acceptable. Denial seems to extend to her emotional problems, where she has never acknowledged any personality disorder or other problem, despite sometimes experiencing depressive bouts where disappointment with aspects of society and life in general seem to be prominent. She has a dominating personality and relentlessly holds on to notions of importance which others might view as arrogance and pride. She is able to generally function socially, and has maintained employment for several years, and ‘gets on’ well with some understanding from colleagues, who would generally not have seen symptoms that could be professionally identified. She has generally been troubled by gastritis in recent years, and head-aches generally attributed to her medical condition. I would like some feedback preferably from professionals according to MDS or similar diagnostic formats in the psychoanalytical or psychiatric fields. Thou i are not doctor, im going to comment here as I myself have borderline personality disorder and Ive also had some dealing with a couple of people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. From my own experiences of those disorders.. it doesnt really sound as she fits either of those. The two with the Narcissitic personality disorder I've experienced.. well they were very very cruel people... loved to hurt others and really got their kicks out of doing that, they often went about hurting people in very cunning ways, weaving people into all kinds of lies. They told all kinds of stories. Nothing you said in your post pointed to that she likes to hurt others! so i dont think its Narcissitic personality disorder.... Some of what you said does fit borderline personality disorder but then I didnt think it sounded enough to fit borderline and many other things do have those symptoms. Borderline people can be explosive (over the top in thier emotions) and can be easily upset by things. Emotional control can be hard for a borderline. Just as fast as the mood swing happens.. it can go, (so different to bipolar in which mood swings last a lot longer). With borderline.. i find that my emotions are all over the place, depending on whatever im experiencing at the time. Borderline people see things in "black and white" so in a different way to what most people see things.. things are often seen as either completely right or wrong. So possibly if she was borderline..and didnt think she was entirely to blame for something... well it could put herself in the all clear with the other completely at fault.. and yes.. this would then probably bother her. Borderline people are often suicidal or try suicide. (you didnt mention that this woman had done that). This is cause of the degree of their emotions. The feeling of wanting to suicide (or even trying too).. thou can leave one as fast as it comes on. Borderline people are often struggling to deal with their life (cause small events.. can be like major things to them), they often cant handle stress. (You didnt say if her depression at times gets that bad that she's had suicide attempts.. 10% of borderlines.. manage to kill themselves in the end). She is able to generally function socially, and has maintained employment for several years, and ‘gets on’ well with some understanding from colleagues, who would generally not have seen symptoms that could be professionally identified. This could mean that she isnt that bad actually.. and maybe she in fact doesnt have a "mental illness" as such??? A women prone to angry outbursts at times.. could be just something like Premenstral Tension (PMT).. depending if it relates to certain times of the menstral cycle.. or if more severe.. could even be just something like PMDD. (Has it been charted when she has these eposides, in align with her menstral cycle to rule these things out?). (If something like PMT or PMDD... 2000 mg of calicum per day..helps some women.. but it can take months to start to work) or maybe she's just got an anger control issue? (that dont have to mean that she's got a major medical issue). This could just mean that she could do with some counselling to give her stratigies to deal with it.. or to look at whatever is wrong in her life and causing her to feel the anger. It could be past stuff/memories or unconscious stuff, undealt with. She seems never able to accept criticism and never accepts responsibility for her mistakes or other blame, even if the blame is justified or socially acceptable low self confidence can cause that kind of reaction in a person (or someone with a big ego). I know many people like that and they dont have a mental issue............................ As far as staring at white skin.. well i just love "black skin" (im white).. to me it's got a softness and richness to it, i wish i had black skin, i just really like how it looks. (in my case.. it isnt actually a symptom of anything at all). Some guys like redheads.. other guys may stare at blondes and admire them... for me it's black skin... . sooo.. she's got a fascination and likes white skin (sounds like she probably fantasizes about it). There is nothing wrong with that... it's normal to fantasize about things and everyone has their own fantasies. If others arent noticing that she has issues.. are you sure she does have "mental issues"?. Are you involved with her and just the one noticing this? (maybe she then just has issues with you?).
    taniaaust1 2267 Replies Flag this Response
  • Thought I'd cut and paste the official guidelines for borderline personality disorder diagnoses.. so you can see if she fits it or not (she either has it or she doesnt! If she doesnt, she isnt a borderline). "Borderline Personality Disorder Most of us have heard of Borderline Personality Disorder. Much of what we hear seems to be negative. Patients with this disorder have gotten a bad reputation. Remember the movie Fatal Attraction? Mental health professionals are partly responsible for the bad rap that patients with this diagnosis have received. Some mental health professionals use this diagnosis for their female patients who are a "pain in the **s." If you are female and are seen as a "difficult patient" you may be at risk for getting this diagnosis. The only responsible way to apply this diagnosis to someone is to use DSM-IV criteria established by the American Psychiatric Association (or the international ICD diagnosis system). The DSM-IV defines Borderline Personality disorder in the following way: Borderline Personality DisorderA pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following: 1. frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5 2. a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation 3. identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self 4. impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5. 5. recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior 6. affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days) 7. chronic feelings of emptiness 8. inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights) 9. transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms (American Psychiatric Association: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition. Washington, DC, 1994)" ................................. Im trying to understand why you think she could be borderline.. she really doesnt sound that bad. As one with borderline personality disorder.. this year ive attempted suicide, superglued my mouth and vagina, self harmed... only yesterday I stapled my finger on purpose due to not being able to deal with my emotions.. just over cause my partner wasnt taking me seriously about something... and my borderline..is only minor, i can hide it! (i get on well with people etc).
    taniaaust1 2267 Replies Flag this Response
  • :(I'm Sad.Very.
    troubled-teen 1 Replies Flag this Response
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  • Tania has poured her heart out in this forum. She has described how she even attempted suicide, self-mutilation, attempts to hide her condition from associates, etc. Yet, we do not seem to receive enough opinions or offers of help and guidance! I must thank Tania for her efforts in quoting DSM criteria for several personality disorders suspected in my "Young South Asian Woman's Obsession" thread. There are several issues I did not reveal before. They include denying any and every criticism at every turn, not having the humility to acknowledge even minor, excusable oversights or short-comings, whereas they are obvious to even the most ignorant observer. Using anything blamed on her, to blame the other back (I find this very strange, unimaginative and definitely abnormal), obstinate refusal to acknowledge facts about her that is common knowledge to others, thus alienating people who would sympathise or want to help her, combined with an aloofness and arrogance that is highly undeserved and without merit, for example. I could go on...but they are all in the same basket...Lasantha
    Lasantha 8 Replies Flag this Response
  • she sounds pretty awesome if you ask me, i say that with all seriousness.....then again i am bipolar....and white ;-p
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
  • The comment posted by "Unregistered" ("she sounds awesome") does not explain adequately what you feel about this patient's condition. It would be appreciated if you could elaborate further for readers' information. Lasantha
    Lasantha 8 Replies Flag this Response
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