I'm not sure, but I think the main reason I'm posting here is because I will try to kick the habbit (addition) for the first time, after abusing for years since I was 14 (I'm 31 now, and it makes almost a year I'm using very high of Diethylcathinone). During this period, I usually stay awake and "energic" for 48 to 72 hours in a row. A couple of times I tried to sleep with my usual 20mg of diazepam, 18mg of bromazepan, 4mg of clonazepan and 100mg of Phenergan. But how knows why I can't sleep, so sometimes I need more 20 hours feeling relaxed and restless, if I blink its like I got VERY TIRED in a second, but when I open my eyes I return to the asleep and awareness state...
I have a severe insomnia problem since I was a child (maybe 4/5 years old. When I was younger, it was very hard to sleep; like a irredutible condition that didn't change when I practice sports (I practiced Tae-know-do for years, mostly as a semi-pro competitor - I give up when I travelled to the 93' panamerican (Curitiba, Brazil), 'cos I couldn't sleep not a single hour for 60 hours and my performance was very bad). I also used to "work-out" in the gym (sorry, I don't know if it's correctly written), when I left "TKD" (15) until 21. It wasn't and "long-term" habbit (probably, 50-to-50 of the period, at night, mostly).
It worsened with the age, I usually needing from 2 to 4 hours to finally sleep. I tried prozac, zoloft, almost all the benzodiazepines, also hypnotics that one I don't remember worked for a couple of days (all these where prescribed). Sadly, I couldn't stay in the Highschool, and I work with computer (at least, its an advantage that helped me to get free-lances because of that). There's nothing worst than partying and drink a lot, but being unable to sleep regarless how tired I am or how much I had drink.
I think I reached the worst of it at my early tweenties, when it was "common" to me to stay in the bed for 14-to-20 hours in the dark, trying all the "technics" to get sleep. Finally, I started to suffer from despersonalization, it worsened and I remember to be in ***l when it began to happens EVERY NIGHT. At this point, I start to use anti-alergics that worked better than anyother drug, and the best is that I get tolerance very fast with most of drug I took, but it never happened with anti-alergics. I started the "mixings" of drugs, and I didn't bother about myself anymore.
One day I got Phenergan for rhinitis and since then, I use 4 to 8 (25mg) EVERYDAY for at least 10 years. It's very cheap here in Brazil, so I could improve a little my life, and stablish a routine that alowed me to work, study, have a social life, girlfriends. And then I find a way to buy Diethylcathinone (Brazil produces about 70% worldwide of this drug). I never really found much information about it in English, only the selling name Tenuate and that it's very similar to phentermine and dextroamphetamine, more popular in the USA.
Regardless, there is more about it in English than in Portuguese (just to help you to understand how chaotic is the medicinal information here in Brazil, when there's something about it on the big media, it's called "methamphetamine"! Not "similar to methamphetamines, but THE SAME THING - sometimes there's some references to the huge damage of methamphetamine in the USA, and it's very common to hear something like "... however, the problem is not as critical as in the USA and Europe, where methanphetamines are used injectable or smoking.
Well, it's already too long (sorry). Usually I take 450-600mg at once, and I keep taking this much every 6-8-12 hours . At least, I never have any problem with any of these drugs (I'm considering only the bad effects, like panic, athakesia, paranoia, psychosis (strange enough, I don't feel despersonalization when I'm on this drug). However, I almost got out of reality with Lithium combined with the tryciclics I tried. Finally, I'm using fluoxetine and brupropion prescribed (I didn't told to my doc about my Diethylcathinone and Phenerghan abuse). If I take fluoxine alone I have panic and despersonalization more often.
And the big irony is that the only moment I had REAL problems with drugs to the point to stay in the hospital for 2 days taking Haldol (anti-psychotic) was when I smoke a HUGE amount of pot. I smoke cigarettes so I took out the tobacco and put the pot, and I think I smoked almost 10. It was by far the worst moment of my life, and since them I never smoked it again and never tried any hallucinogenic drug.
During the last 4 months I had check-up of cardiologist, pneumologist and oftamologist and everything was ok... But I know it makes 4 months of high drug abuse and I have no ilusion about my future; I pretty sure it will "show up" when I make 40 or 45, and I already "accepted" the chance to die at that age.
So, my problem is the widthdraw. I never really had problems with staying out of Cathiodone before, just a little numbness that is shortened with Prozac. However, doesn't matter if I'm on Cath or not: if I don't take benzos, I start to get very tense that increases to the point that I almost can't eat because of shaking hands (and it didn't stop after a month or so, but get worst to the point of having constant despersonalization, that's why I had to get back to the damned benzos.
There's any real chance to be able to live without drugs (specially benzos) for some years before I die by stroke or something like that?
Thank you so much for reading such a long and bad-writtn text. I hope somehow that you find something useful here, even if it's to make you feel a little better about your problem (humor is all I have :)