Discussions By Condition: I cannot get a diagnosis.

Years taking almost daily high amount of several benzos, phenergan, ssrs and cathione

Posted In: I cannot get a diagnosis. 9 Replies
  • Posted By: strattford
  • March 6, 2009
  • 03:24 AM

Hello;

I'm not sure, but I think the main reason I'm posting here is because I will try to kick the habbit (addition) for the first time, after abusing for years since I was 14 (I'm 31 now, and it makes almost a year I'm using very high of Diethylcathinone). During this period, I usually stay awake and "energic" for 48 to 72 hours in a row. A couple of times I tried to sleep with my usual 20mg of diazepam, 18mg of bromazepan, 4mg of clonazepan and 100mg of Phenergan. But how knows why I can't sleep, so sometimes I need more 20 hours feeling relaxed and restless, if I blink its like I got VERY TIRED in a second, but when I open my eyes I return to the asleep and awareness state...

I have a severe insomnia problem since I was a child (maybe 4/5 years old. When I was younger, it was very hard to sleep; like a irredutible condition that didn't change when I practice sports (I practiced Tae-know-do for years, mostly as a semi-pro competitor - I give up when I travelled to the 93' panamerican (Curitiba, Brazil), 'cos I couldn't sleep not a single hour for 60 hours and my performance was very bad). I also used to "work-out" in the gym (sorry, I don't know if it's correctly written), when I left "TKD" (15) until 21. It wasn't and "long-term" habbit (probably, 50-to-50 of the period, at night, mostly).

It worsened with the age, I usually needing from 2 to 4 hours to finally sleep. I tried prozac, zoloft, almost all the benzodiazepines, also hypnotics that one I don't remember worked for a couple of days (all these where prescribed). Sadly, I couldn't stay in the Highschool, and I work with computer (at least, its an advantage that helped me to get free-lances because of that). There's nothing worst than partying and drink a lot, but being unable to sleep regarless how tired I am or how much I had drink.

I think I reached the worst of it at my early tweenties, when it was "common" to me to stay in the bed for 14-to-20 hours in the dark, trying all the "technics" to get sleep. Finally, I started to suffer from despersonalization, it worsened and I remember to be in ***l when it began to happens EVERY NIGHT. At this point, I start to use anti-alergics that worked better than anyother drug, and the best is that I get tolerance very fast with most of drug I took, but it never happened with anti-alergics. I started the "mixings" of drugs, and I didn't bother about myself anymore.

One day I got Phenergan for rhinitis and since then, I use 4 to 8 (25mg) EVERYDAY for at least 10 years. It's very cheap here in Brazil, so I could improve a little my life, and stablish a routine that alowed me to work, study, have a social life, girlfriends. And then I find a way to buy Diethylcathinone (Brazil produces about 70% worldwide of this drug). I never really found much information about it in English, only the selling name Tenuate and that it's very similar to phentermine and dextroamphetamine, more popular in the USA.

Regardless, there is more about it in English than in Portuguese (just to help you to understand how chaotic is the medicinal information here in Brazil, when there's something about it on the big media, it's called "methamphetamine"! Not "similar to methamphetamines, but THE SAME THING - sometimes there's some references to the huge damage of methamphetamine in the USA, and it's very common to hear something like "... however, the problem is not as critical as in the USA and Europe, where methanphetamines are used injectable or smoking.

Well, it's already too long (sorry). Usually I take 450-600mg at once, and I keep taking this much every 6-8-12 hours . At least, I never have any problem with any of these drugs (I'm considering only the bad effects, like panic, athakesia, paranoia, psychosis (strange enough, I don't feel despersonalization when I'm on this drug). However, I almost got out of reality with Lithium combined with the tryciclics I tried. Finally, I'm using fluoxetine and brupropion prescribed (I didn't told to my doc about my Diethylcathinone and Phenerghan abuse). If I take fluoxine alone I have panic and despersonalization more often.

And the big irony is that the only moment I had REAL problems with drugs to the point to stay in the hospital for 2 days taking Haldol (anti-psychotic) was when I smoke a HUGE amount of pot. I smoke cigarettes so I took out the tobacco and put the pot, and I think I smoked almost 10. It was by far the worst moment of my life, and since them I never smoked it again and never tried any hallucinogenic drug.

During the last 4 months I had check-up of cardiologist, pneumologist and oftamologist and everything was ok... But I know it makes 4 months of high drug abuse and I have no ilusion about my future; I pretty sure it will "show up" when I make 40 or 45, and I already "accepted" the chance to die at that age.

So, my problem is the widthdraw. I never really had problems with staying out of Cathiodone before, just a little numbness that is shortened with Prozac. However, doesn't matter if I'm on Cath or not: if I don't take benzos, I start to get very tense that increases to the point that I almost can't eat because of shaking hands (and it didn't stop after a month or so, but get worst to the point of having constant despersonalization, that's why I had to get back to the damned benzos.

There's any real chance to be able to live without drugs (specially benzos) for some years before I die by stroke or something like that?

Thank you so much for reading such a long and bad-writtn text. I hope somehow that you find something useful here, even if it's to make you feel a little better about your problem (humor is all I have :)

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9 Replies:

  • Hello; I'm not sure, but I think the main reason I'm posting here is because I will try to kick the habbit (addition) for the first time, after abusing for years since I was 14 (I'm 31 now, and it makes almost a year I'm using very high of Diethylcathinone). During this period, I usually stay awake and "energic" for 48 to 72 hours in a row. A couple of times I tried to sleep with my usual 20mg of diazepam, 18mg of bromazepan, 4mg of clonazepan and 100mg of Phenergan. But how knows why I can't sleep, so sometimes I need more 20 hours feeling relaxed and restless, if I blink its like I got VERY TIRED in a second, but when I open my eyes I return to the asleep and awareness state... I have a severe insomnia problem since I was a child (maybe 4/5 years old. When I was younger, it was very hard to sleep; like a irredutible condition that didn't change when I practice sports (I practiced Tae-know-do for years, mostly as a semi-pro competitor - I give up when I travelled to the 93' panamerican (Curitiba, Brazil), 'cos I couldn't sleep not a single hour for 60 hours and my performance was very bad). I also used to "work-out" in the gym (sorry, I don't know if it's correctly written), when I left "TKD" (15) until 21. It wasn't and "long-term" habbit (probably, 50-to-50 of the period, at night, mostly). It worsened with the age, I usually needing from 2 to 4 hours to finally sleep. I tried prozac, zoloft, almost all the benzodiazepines, also hypnotics that one I don't remember worked for a couple of days (all these where prescribed). Sadly, I couldn't stay in the Highschool, and I work with computer (at least, its an advantage that helped me to get free-lances because of that). There's nothing worst than partying and drink a lot, but being unable to sleep regarless how tired I am or how much I had drink. I think I reached the worst of it at my early tweenties, when it was "common" to me to stay in the bed for 14-to-20 hours in the dark, trying all the "technics" to get sleep. Finally, I started to suffer from despersonalization, it worsened and I remember to be in ***l when it began to happens EVERY NIGHT. At this point, I start to use anti-alergics that worked better than anyother drug, and the best is that I get tolerance very fast with most of drug I took, but it never happened with anti-alergics. I started the "mixings" of drugs, and I didn't bother about myself anymore. One day I got Phenergan for rhinitis and since then, I use 4 to 8 (25mg) EVERYDAY for at least 10 years. It's very cheap here in Brazil, so I could improve a little my life, and stablish a routine that alowed me to work, study, have a social life, girlfriends. And then I find a way to buy Diethylcathinone (Brazil produces about 70% worldwide of this drug). I never really found much information about it in English, only the selling name Tenuate and that it's very similar to phentermine and dextroamphetamine, more popular in the USA. Regardless, there is more about it in English than in Portuguese (just to help you to understand how chaotic is the medicinal information here in Brazil, when there's something about it on the big media, it's called "methamphetamine"! Not "similar to methamphetamines, but THE SAME THING - sometimes there's some references to the huge damage of methamphetamine in the USA, and it's very common to hear something like "... however, the problem is not as critical as in the USA and Europe, where methanphetamines are used injectable or smoking. Well, it's already too long (sorry). Usually I take 450-600mg at once, and I keep taking this much every 6-8-12 hours . At least, I never have any problem with any of these drugs (I'm considering only the bad effects, like panic, athakesia, paranoia, psychosis (strange enough, I don't feel despersonalization when I'm on this drug). However, I almost got out of reality with Lithium combined with the tryciclics I tried. Finally, I'm using fluoxetine and brupropion prescribed (I didn't told to my doc about my Diethylcathinone and Phenerghan abuse). If I take fluoxine alone I have panic and despersonalization more often. And the big irony is that the only moment I had REAL problems with drugs to the point to stay in the hospital for 2 days taking Haldol (anti-psychotic) was when I smoke a HUGE amount of pot. I smoke cigarettes so I took out the tobacco and put the pot, and I think I smoked almost 10. It was by far the worst moment of my life, and since them I never smoked it again and never tried any hallucinogenic drug. During the last 4 months I had check-up of cardiologist, pneumologist and oftamologist and everything was ok... But I know it makes 4 months of high drug abuse and I have no ilusion about my future; I pretty sure it will "show up" when I make 40 or 45, and I already "accepted" the chance to die at that age. So, my problem is the widthdraw. I never really had problems with staying out of Cathiodone before, just a little numbness that is shortened with Prozac. However, doesn't matter if I'm on Cath or not: if I don't take benzos, I start to get very tense that increases to the point that I almost can't eat because of shaking hands (and it didn't stop after a month or so, but get worst to the point of having constant despersonalization, that's why I had to get back to the damned benzos. There's any real chance to be able to live without drugs (specially benzos) for some years before I die by stroke or something like that? Thank you so much for reading such a long and bad-writtn text. I hope somehow that you find something useful here, even if it's to make you feel a little better about your problem (humor is all I have :) You can't just quit benzos. That can trigger possibly fatal seizures or years of misery. They have to be tapered slowly. http://www.geocities.com/benzobusters/ Best information on the web about benzos and getting off.
    Freddd 3576 Replies Flag this Response
  • You can't just quit benzos. That can trigger possibly fatal seizures or years of misery. They have to be tapered slowly. http://www.geocities.com/benzobusters/ Best information on the web about benzos and getting off.Thank you so much for the reply. I'm more worried about the "years of misery" part... My loooong message may lead to wrong conclusions, in fact I use some "methodology" for using drugs, like "adverse effects", "antagonistic substance - if exists...", "how it works", etc. I had experienced most of illegal drugs, and I never had any problem with that. Even Anti-depressives, Anti-convulsionants (Tegretol?), khats, etc, I took the "my responsability" part and most of times, I solve it alone. But benzos are REALLY unbelievable! If I take just one Valium, I don't feel anything at all. But if I don't take AT LEAST one Valium, it starts with shaking legs, hands, panic, etc. I don't think it's because my inconscient realizes that, so it's not "psychological". I think it's "physiological addiction", so it needs to be a very slowly process. Btw, there's any "antagonist" to benzos (maybe it's not the right term, but I'm talking about heroin addicted people trying to kick it out with methadone). Just a quick note: If I ever come into a hospital and say that I'm using all the drugs I listed above, it's highly probable that I will end in a sanatory. So, the irony is that I can have assistance from a shrink as far as it's something "typical and simple". If it's something really dangerous, at least in Brazil, you better hide the secret... I'm looking the link you sent me, thank you again!
    strattford 4 Replies Flag this Response
  • Thank you so much for the reply. I'm more worried about the "years of misery" part... My loooong message may lead to wrong conclusions, in fact I use some "methodology" for using drugs, like "adverse effects", "antagonistic substance - if exists...", "how it works", etc. I had experienced most of illegal drugs, and I never had any problem with that. Even Anti-depressives, Anti-convulsionants (Tegretol?), khats, etc, I took the "my responsability" part and most of times, I solve it alone. But benzos are REALLY unbelievable! If I take just one Valium, I don't feel anything at all. But if I don't take AT LEAST one Valium, it starts with shaking legs, hands, panic, etc. I don't think it's because my inconscient realizes that, so it's not "psychological". I think it's "physiological addiction", so it needs to be a very slowly process. Btw, there's any "antagonist" to benzos (maybe it's not the right term, but I'm talking about heroin addicted people trying to kick it out with methadone). Just a quick note: If I ever come into a hospital and say that I'm using all the drugs I listed above, it's highly probable that I will end in a sanatory. So, the irony is that I can have assistance from a shrink as far as it's something "typical and simple". If it's something really dangerous, at least in Brazil, you better hide the secret... I'm looking the link you sent me, thank you again! Hi Strattford, Seizures and then years of misery or just years of misery are very real possiblities for those who become accomodated to benzos and try to quit to fast. methadone isn't an antaqgonist to heroin, it is another opioid that replaces heroin at the receptors. Onje benzo can replace another generally. An antagonist to heroin, like nalxone, will through a person into instant hard withdrawal and sick as ***l for about 5 days. If such existed for benzos it would throw you into shear misery that doesn't stop for an unknown period, perhaps only 10 times as long as heroin or perhaps 50 or 100 times as long. It would also likely cause seizures as Valium is a long halflife drug so withdrawal comes on slowly and takes up to two weeks to reach maximum. The mix of things you are using might cause rebound psychosis as well as other things. You are playing with nitroglycerin and apparantly don't even
    Freddd 3576 Replies Flag this Response
  • "Seizures and then years of misery or just years of misery are very real possiblities" It reminds me an article it my memory is right it's a long PDF freely avaiable on the Web titled "Benzodiazepides: Long-term users and the eldery". The writer (doctor) proposes an approach not so common - he says something like that "...Eldery people that are taking Benzodiazepides, probably are doing it for most of his life." He says that he personally observed it, and that old people that never had taken benzos before, won't use it unleast it's something really terrible. They will try to stop taking it as far as possible, very often complaining about collateral effects. At the most, they will use it correctly as prescribed and will naturally leave it once the 'job' was done. In other hand, he says that it's often harmful to discuss with old people about leaving it in "a classic pattern of small dosages for several years" (It reminds me my mom :) and to press them about this subject is almost a cruelty. I remember that because of my mother, who takes 1.5mg of Bromazepan per day for decades, and when she changed her doctor, he said that this dosage is so low that it's like nothing, so there's no need to keep taking it. She got nuts, screaming, crying, and me and my brother were called to take care, it was really a mess. The result of it? She "started to feel that 1.5mg per day wasn't helping her" and she actually citted the panic attack in the hospital as a prove of that. I wanted to punch that doctor to oblivion, but I never did... Anyway, she is taking 3mg per day (still low, right?) for 6/7 years now. "The mix of things you are using might cause rebound psychosis as well as other things." It's possible. I mean, I stopped with everything many times before and never had anything serious - except for the benzos. But no one is getting younger, right? Anyway, with total respect, I hope you're wrong :) "You are playing with nitroglycerin and apparantly don't even ******************" Well, this is the medicinal scenario in Brazil. We consume 70% of World's production of anorexic drugs and we know nothing about that. I mentioned a couple of stupid articles in very popular magazines, where the so-cal experts seems to believe that "methanphetamine differs from anorexics just about how it's administrate; you don't smoke nor injects anorexics." (it's quotted from a pseudo-scientific magazine called Galileu and it's right here with me). The portuguese translation of "meth-" is "meta-" and IN SOME CONTEXTS, it means "proto-". So, my theory is that people think that methamphetamines, line cathiones, are a basic, generic form of Amphetamines. You know, like just one step behind that. I think you meant that I probably shouldn't know that the mix I take is like nitroglycerin. Unfortunately, I know. It already exploded on my hands, but I still "play" with that anyway. The Brazlian's healthcare public system have many erratic procedures like allowing ANY doctor to request a 'sheet' of special/controled recipes (we call it ''blue-checks'') and it's well-known that they always keep some to sell it at the end of every month, INTO THE HOSPITAL ROOM. However, it's like "there's no one complaining so there's no problem at all" fallacies, convenient and totally unethical... Just put my shoes for a second and think about yourself in my situation; I need help badly, but if I dare to meet a doctor and tell him the whole truth, I will leave the clinic right to the sanatory for 72 hours at least. And they don't give substitute-drugs or something to relief like in some Hollywood movies. If you get there because of drug addiction, you will probably start with cognitive group theraphy, and if it's not works, you got a nice electro-shock session. But drugs, never... I swear God that such hostile environment and nothing to calm me down, I will turn psychotic before the three days... Once again, sorry for the giant reply!
    strattford 4 Replies Flag this Response
  • Are you telling me that there are no treatment centers there?That's what you need:first to be detoxed,then further recovery treatment.If you have to,go to another country for it because you are a real addict and need help!
    richard wayne2b 1232 Replies Flag this Response
  • Are you on a drug ''run?'' You didn't answer my questions.
    richard wayne2b 1232 Replies Flag this Response
  • Are you telling me that there are no treatment centers there?That's what you need:first to be detoxed,then further recovery treatment.If you have to,go to another country for it because you are a real addict and need help!No. I just said that the procedure is different - perhaps because the bad ecionomy we have,that can't invest enough money...
    strattford 4 Replies Flag this Response
  • Are you on a drug ''run?'' You didn't answer my questions.Sorry for no answering you in time. Yeas, I am, for many years, everyday, a currently I barely keave my bedroom (oh, and it makes like 5/6 years that I don't party with friends not even talk with them. I'm incresasing the Khat gradualy, and just recently I thought about it and I think I'm trying to commit suicide in an "incoscient level".
    strattford 4 Replies Flag this Response
  • I think you would find that vitamin B complex (that's the whole B complex) would be very helpful for your nerves and shakes (they take a few days to really kick in) also a good amount of vitamin C (at least 500mg day preferably slow release with bioflavenoids) would help rebuild your system and make it a lot easier to reduce or withdraw from benzos etc.
    Painperson 12 Replies Flag this Response
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