Discussions By Condition: I cannot get a diagnosis.

What is the best thing to do to overcome grieving?

Posted In: I cannot get a diagnosis. 6 Replies
  • Posted By: Anonymous
  • May 16, 2008
  • 01:59 PM

It has been 4 months and 11 days since my mom died and still I can't get back on the track. I'm trying to accept the situation gradually because I know that it is a process but still I am having sleepless nights and loss of appetite. I noticed that I am losing weight from 46 kg now I'm just 39kg. Since my mom died I started having sleepless nights. Sometimes I get to sleep at 7:00 am after going to bed at 12:30 am. I feel deeply sad everytime I am alone and I can't stop crying. I really want to overcome this situation so I can work better but it's really difficult. Please give me advise on what to do. Thanks.

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6 Replies:

  • It sounds as if your going through the natural grief process. During this time I think it's important that you get out and try as best as you can to interact with loving family members and friends. Try to remember the good times you spent with your mom. It also wouldn't hurt to talk to a professional counelsor if you feel led to. I lost my mom 16 years ago and with the help of God and family managed to get through that difficult time. REmember time really does heal all wounds.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
  • go to www.mercola.com and search for the EFT manual It is a great tool to deal with many emotional sticking points. We do need to feel the grief but not get stuck focusing on it.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
  • It changes your reality to lose somebody close. You're in a different place to the place you were in before. How does one ever come to enjoy being in a new place? By putting the past behind one, although treasuring something that embodies the past, so as not to lose the past completely. Then one looks around for something to enjoy. Non attachment allows us to be like children confronting whatever life throws at us with open mind. I believe it's better to shut yourself away for a few days and get the grieving out. Cry and cry. Then it dries up and you can see the light. Sometimes life is very complicated and layered and it's not clear what we want, or why. Your pain is not about just one thing but probably it's about many things, and probably you can look at your Mum's death in different ways. Some good and some bad, no matter how much you miss her and feel it's unfair that you can't pull her back to spend time with her again. I hope this helps a bit. I was in severe grief, August 2007. Now in June 2008 I don't normally experience those emotions. It's all different, and part of the cure comes from things happening that you just have to deal with, which force you on. Whatever I believe about him and me is still in formation and will always be so. It carries on expanding and developing as any relationship does, just with one of us on a different, non-physical plane, and really, you can have a good bond although you're in different states or dimensions. Your Mum's life is being re-enacted or reflected by you. You are together, without doubt. Try not to be too convinced of the general belief OUT THERE about how to treat death and find the answers in your own heart. Western society's worldview is not much help for grief.
    sweettooth 10 Replies Flag this Response
  • Try to think "How would Mom want me to cope with this very difficult and sad time in my life?"Would she be happy to see you in this situation of losing weight, sleepless nights and crying yourself to sleep? Obviously the answer is no!Her love and presence will allways be with you in your heart.Try to focus on the good times and memories.Value the years you had her.Don't cut yourself off from friends, don't drink alcohol and try to eat a balanced diet.Keep busy and go back to work sooner rather than later.Remember that as painfull as grief is, it is natural. It is very painfull at times, like a bad dream that you never wake up from. It is ten years this September since my Mother died. I miss her much but I have carried on with my life as she would wish.The ultimate happiness for your Mom was to see you safe and happy.Try to keep it that way. Give yourself time.God Bless You.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
  • Try to think "How would Mom want me to cope with this very difficult and sad time in my life?"Would she be happy to see you in this situation of losing weight, sleepless nights and crying yourself to sleep? Obviously the answer is no! Her love and presence will allways be with you in your heart.Try to focus on the good times and memories.Value the years you had her. Don't cut yourself off from friends, don't drink alcohol and try to eat a balanced diet.Keep busy and go back to work sooner rather than later. Remember that as painfull as grief is, it is natural. It is very painfull at times, like a bad dream that you never wake up from. It is ten years this September since my Mother died. I miss her much but I have carried on with my life as she would wish. The ultimate happiness for your Mom was to see you safe and happy.Try to keep it that way. Give yourself time. God Bless You. That was beautiful. Thanks for writing such a compassionate post. Best wishesDOM
    acuann 3080 Replies Flag this Response
  • All your replies are well thought out.Perhaps you could start a letter to your mother, telling her how important she was to you, and describing those important moments that you shared, and your thoughts to her now...might keep it in a notebook, so you can write down stuff as it comes to you.You can free up your thoughts if you get some of them down on paper. She was a very blessed woman, to have such a caring child, and must have been a wonderful and caring Mom. :o Marionstar
    marionstar 228 Replies Flag this Response
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