Discussions By Condition: I cannot get a diagnosis.

virgin until i got married age 33, cannot climax during sex at all for 3 years now.

Posted In: I cannot get a diagnosis. 5 Replies
  • Posted By: mercury man
  • July 24, 2007
  • 06:01 AM

HI, i have waited until age 33 when i got married to my wife to have sex for the first time. She has only had sex 3x in her life, so we both are inexperienced. I use to masterbate atleast 1x a week from the time i was 13 until age 33. Since i have been married i only masterbate about 1 or 2x a month. I can get hard rather easy when i am with my wife, foreplay is great, sex feels good, but i can go 1 and half hours and still cannot climax. This does bother me but i try to get relaxed atleast when i know sex is near. I can climax in 5 minutes or less by masterbating but during sex for even up to an hour and a half through, i still cannot climax. I am hoping to get an answer or advice. I have did so much research about these kind of problems and i still cannot figure out whats wrong with me.

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5 Replies:

  • Find a sex therapist.
    rad-skw 1,605 Replies Flag this Response
  • acquire some dirty movies....
    Monsterlove 2,921 Replies Flag this Response
  • I have read about this problem- and it is not uncommon. Apparently you need to 'un-train' yourself. The way that you achieve climax with masturbation is far from the way intended by the use of the female genitalea. In other words, your hands do not replicate the 'right sensation' so you got used to something that is so far from the real thing that you have created a 'tolerance' or 'indiference' to the real thing.So, I can't remember where I read it, but basically you have to stop masturbatings and start focusing in the act and just kinda start from zero- so you explore and you find a new way to achieve it.I am not sexologist, and this is not my advice, this is something I read I don't know like 7 years ago. Overall I know many men have this problem.You are young- you'll figure it out- practice make the master.Best, and happy marriage.Frui.
    Eatafruit78 960 Replies Flag this Response
  • i thought frui's post was good, ive read similiar at sexual advice places. 1/ Stop masturbating yourself 2/ have nice relaxing bath with wife, scented oils, enjoying each other 3/ aim at just touching each others skin for a COUPLE OF WEEKS, stroking, massage.. NO INTERCOURSE. No trying to climax at all (no masturbation), focus on the whole body (not just touching sexual regions.. avoiding them entirely could be helpful for a week, focus on other parts of body). Use this time to really explore each others bodies, most couples have never even properly explored each others pleasure zones!!!! 4/ After a couple of weeks of just touching each other.. try intercourse, dont aim to climax the first few times. (This way there wont even be any subconscious pressure on you). 5/ If your wife wants to assist you with this issue.. she could do pelvic floor exercises regularly and then not just move with you during intercourse..but purposely contract and squeeze her muscles too while doing it, to add to your stimulation. 6/ If none of the above works (but give the above a good shot first).. try having her masturbate you, until you are very close to the point of climax..then have intercourse from there.. to get your body and mind used to climaxing while inside of her. (Over time you could stop the masturbation first, at a less close point.. so be less and less reliant on it) 7/ if all fails..see a sex therapist. But i think Frui is right, you've just got so used to climaxing one way that you need to adjust to other ways.
    taniaaust1 2,267 Replies Flag this Response
  • Thanks Tania-I was just thinking that in the articles I read on this problem, the gentleman with the problem would masturbate using a towel or a t-shirt or lotion or really all kind of things that take the sensation really far from what the real sensation would be.Again- stop whatever you are doing. Learn to be arouse by the act.Best,Frui.
    Eatafruit78 960 Replies Flag this Response
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