It would only be just of me to explain a bit of backstory prior to requesting some form of diagnosis. I am 22 years old, and am college male student. This past year has brought forward a vast amount of changes in my life, last year I was your typical stoner, who had not been doing much but hanging out and smoking. I had had a fallout with a friend in my little group of pals, which left me ultimately embarassed by a mistake I had made speaking to one of his ex's. This left me pretty much alone, only having my girlfriend of 5 years as a true friend.
This october marks the year point since I have had this fallout, and I have been experiencing a number of issue that are running my life down the drain, some that had even existed prior to the fallout, which were insomnia, slight anxiety and paranoia which i assumed were partial to my wed smoking habits. This past year, I have been smoking daily and cannot seem to quit, (weed only through blunts.) After my fallout, ive been feeling INSANELY rapid thoughts to a point where everything feels like a movie or dream, even this post feels as if it is purely mechanical and not under my control. I now have a crippling social anxiety, that pesters me all day long even when i am alone at home. All i do is think about negative thoughts. I have trouble getting full breaths of air when thinking about breathing and a wake up miserable every morning. I occasinally wake up and dry heave and have nose bleeds in only my right nostril. My eyes feel tired and unfocused, and are marked with huge bags. I used to weigh 155 lbs of pure muscle and now have reached a 125lb mark as well. Everything seems to be falling apart for me, yet i have somehow managed to get readmitted to my school, as well as obtain 2 new jobs. Because i never hangout with friends anymore I spend my time relaxing at home and smoking a bit of weed, working a job, or occasionally hanging out with my girlfriend. Another thing to note, is I began to notice my derealziation when I had been high, and though i have tried to quit marijuana before, it did not help as much as I had assumed with my issues, but am open to quitting again if it helps as I only continue smoking because i really have no other life.
I really need to know what is wrong with me and how to treat this, I am looking into transcranial stimulation to balance my brain out. I have tried numerous medications like zoloft and could not stand the side effects and felt worse after them. I have tried suplements like iron, magnesium, 5htp and even aniracetam but none seemed to have much of a lasting effect. I even tried a bit of counseling and therapy, but it all just felt so ineffective to me. please help me with any suggestions you may have, I am beginning to grow depressed and frustrated with my paranoia and anxieties.
thanks for your time guys !
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