Discussions By Condition: I cannot get a diagnosis.

The severest "depression" in history

Posted In: I cannot get a diagnosis. 19 Replies
  • Posted By: Will89
  • April 27, 2007
  • 11:49 PM

Nearly three years ago, (shortly after my fifteenth birthday), I woke up to find that, suddenly, my libido had flatlined, I began to 'fog over' mentally, I became impotent and I experienced fatigue and some personality shifts. A year and a half before, I had left testicular pain (probably just a cyst, it went away eventually), but in the years since the incident I described, I have had more severe and persistent testicular pain, particularly on the right. Worst of all, I have been unable to feel sexual pleasure of any kind for as long as I can remember. I didn't realize that this isn't normal until two years ago or so.

I was advised to have my testosterone checked, and it was, and apparently it is fine. The endocrinologist I described all of the above to then decided that this must be a result of depression. My parents happily agreed (I only ever told them about the fatigue and personality things to a degree, and they have made it rather obvious that they think I am a hypochondriac, which has made it difficult for me to pursue this) and I have been on antidepressents for about six months now. They haven't done anything for any of my symptoms. In fact, I don't think they've done much at all, even after they doubled the dose.

So, I'd say I can't get a diagnosis. Any ideas? Going to a doctor won't be an option until I leave home, I cook up another excuse, or if I sneak into some free clinic or something, I just could use a theory. Thanks.

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19 Replies:

  • It is strange you are so young and expecting to have an adult level of libido, this makes very little sense and shows either you have a bipolar tendency or you are unable to get the help of someone around you to understand your many symptoms. Testicular pains arent usually just cysts, they indicate infection. Were you with a girl before the pains? It could be chlamydia or a gonorrhea, - so you need to see a urologist immediately who can properly diagnose this.dr. Beilinwww.fortifyhealth.comNearly three years ago, (shortly after my fifteenth birthday), I woke up to find that, suddenly, my libido had flatlined, I began to 'fog over' mentally, I became impotent and I experienced fatigue and some personality shifts. A year and a half before, I had left testicular pain (probably just a cyst, it went away eventually), but in the years since the incident I described, I have had more severe and persistent testicular pain, particularly on the right. Worst of all, I have been unable to feel sexual pleasure of any kind for as long as I can remember. I didn't realize that this isn't normal until two years ago or so.I was advised to have my testosterone checked, and it was, and apparently it is fine. The endocrinologist I described all of the above to then decided that this must be a result of depression. My parents happily agreed (I only ever told them about the fatigue and personality things to a degree, and they have made it rather obvious that they think I am a hypochondriac, which has made it difficult for me to pursue this) and I have been on antidepressents for about six months now. They haven't done anything for any of my symptoms. In fact, I don't think they've done much at all, even after they doubled the dose.So, I'd say I can't get a diagnosis. Any ideas? Going to a doctor won't be an option until I leave home, I cook up another excuse, or if I sneak into some free clinic or something, I just could use a theory. Thanks.
    drbeilin 8 Replies Flag this Response
  • It is strange you are so young and expecting to have an adult level of libido, this makes very little sense and shows either you have a bipolar tendency or you are unable to get the help of someone around you to understand your many symptoms.I don't understand. It's strange that I expect an adult level? And what does that have to do with being bipolar?Testicular pains arent usually just cysts, they indicate infection. Were you with a girl before the pains? It could be chlamydia or a gonorrhea, - so you need to see a urologist immediately who can properly diagnose this.I've never been with one in my life. Not much point when I'm numb down there, is there?
    Will89 6 Replies Flag this Response
  • a decrease in sexual libido, depression, hypochondriac...go to www.ahummingbirdsguide.com all of your symptoms are there write down as many as you have...good luck
    mommy cat 1654 Replies Flag this Response
  • Well, I have about a third of the symptoms listed, including some things I thought were just quirks and normal characteristics, but that list seems to include every ailment under the sun.
    Will89 6 Replies Flag this Response
  • Well I don't have any advice as far as what's wrong with you medically, but if what your dealing with is psychogenic, which is always a possibility, you need to get with a therapist. I know that's probably the last thing you want to hear, especially at your age people seem to think it's shameful or are just too lazy and want a pill to do all the work. Unfortunately with depression, that's not the case and therapy is a very important part of recovery. Did you know that studies show that calming, breathing exercises, like yoga, proved just as effective as antidepressants? Trust me, I've been through depression to the nth degree. I was hospitalized four times and tried many different psychotropic medications along with therapy, which didn't work and was to the point where I needed ECT. Fortunately, ECT helped immensley and I'm back to where I should be.Your problem may be hormonal, or medical, but it always worth looking into theraputic treatments. It sure as ***l won't make things worse and could possibily lead to the root of the problem. I hope this helped.Shane
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
  • At first glance it seems like a random list. also as time goes on symptoms can become more severe and new ones may appear. I'm not saying this is what you have, just thought it'd be worth a look if it could help...be well
    mommy cat 1654 Replies Flag this Response
  • Will, if you are a young man in his prime, your sex drive would actually be greater than an adults...please check out the hummingbird site again. Write down every sx no matter how trivial it seems...I'm trying to help but only you can help yourself...best of luck young man...mommy cat PS you don't have to have every sx on the list to have this
    mommy cat 1654 Replies Flag this Response
  • I downloaded the word file and highlighted everything I have or may have, and it seems I actually have about 2/3rds of the symptoms, including the maybes/somewhats.So that was interesting.
    Will89 6 Replies Flag this Response
  • Will, look around this site, see how many other people are having ME symptoms...You don't need every one in order to have ME. Where do you live? I'm in NY and have recieved posts from people all over the country ststing they are taking info to DR. too..some have a third some have a half and some have most symptoms...Keep in mind there are mild, moderate and severe cases of this...Your case jumped out because a young man your age should not be experiencing libido problems...I wish you the best my friend and let me know if there is anything I can help with...I'm in the same boat...mommy cat
    mommy cat 1654 Replies Flag this Response
  • I live in Eastern Washington, which isn't as desolate as it sounds; we've got a pretty big medical establishment here.I appreciate the advice, I had never heard of this before.
    Will89 6 Replies Flag this Response
  • I've been a nurse for 15 years and I had never heard of it either...I saw a 60 year old ER Dr. on Fri as I was taken by ambulance...and he had never heard of it either...Just because of that, it doesn't mean it isn't real...Hope Dr.s in Washington listen and are able to help...PEACE...mommy cat
    mommy cat 1654 Replies Flag this Response
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  • Please read:http://forums.wrongdiagnosis.com/showthread.php?t=12933andhttp://forums.wrongdiagnosis.com/showthread.php?t=9052 Long threads - not exactly your case, but the answers are relevant. Sorry for my ZA English, I don't really belong here .. If you can't ejaculate, you need to see a urologist, soon. If you can, then do. There are tubes from the balls, the stuff must flow. If the works are functional but you just don't feel like it, then (officially) either it is ME or similar, or it is psychological. Spiritual progress even. In that case, try considering sex to be a live performance, a play in which we need to be actors. A good actor becomes the character. We made a cultural thing of it, an art, while simply making children requires no feeling. Romance itself is mostly acting, a play with masks, like minding our manners and dressing up to go out. It can be a carrier for relating, but we can also enjoy our combined show by itself. The big deal we've made of sex is entirely optional, so we can make of it what we like. Surely this is better than to be blind consumers of libido, keenly enjoying what we have been told to enjoy? Most "enjoy" their whole life enthusiastically because it is expected of them. On the other hand, if we don't want to live, or we don't know how, it's also because we're stuck with a viewpoint, a pattern of thinking. We ourselves maintain the fog you speak about (we also maintain every physical illness) because likewise, we think it is expected. It's like we end up carefully maintaining updates to a PC virus checker, but the whole thing is 10 years outdated. Lots of work for no benefit. No pill can fix that. If we don't take energy, we don't have it. Who is to say we may not take the freedom to live and be who we are. Any doctor can tell you that survival heavily depends on whether the patient wants to live or not. Same goes for getting rid of physical illness. Do try this book: "The Soul's Code" by James Hillman, ISBN 0446673714 or 0679445226 - not to be confused with other "secret code" stuff. I think you will enjoy it for real. And remember to read the above links. Thank you.
    Curly Stooge 319 Replies Flag this Response
  • I can ejaculate, but you must understand that the libido and the total lack of sensation are seperate. I do not know when the numbness set in. I may even have been born with it. I do know that I had a very healthy sex drive from when I was 12 until I was 15, but during that time, there was still no more sensation than now. How can it be psycological under those circumstances? I will read the links in a minute, I just wanted to get this off first.
    Will89 6 Replies Flag this Response
  • Do other parts of your skin (except for lips) have more sensation? While I prefer girls, I've been at it with various young guys long ago, and I also know myself. There simply isn't all that much sensation, and it is variable depending on intention, mood, temperature etc. If we hope to make much of sex due to genital sensation, we'd have to lie about it - which most are doing, also to themselves. Sex is merely something to officially do, allowing us to be with a person we love - a means of communication. What is exciting comes from the whole other person, and not only physical - nobody wants sex with a corpse. So I think your depression will not get any better because of more sensation. Not even S&M is much good. Take a look at www.spankingcentral.com - he follows his bliss and has plenty to say, but it's a very limited affair. Listen how guys speak about girls, taking them for granted etc. Not much in it for anyone. What you need to discover is love. You may have hidden it early on as it is very important for you, and needed protection. Time to dig it up again? With the person I love the most, I'll never have sex, but we share that communication and trust. This is a sensation inside, and it makes my life totally worth living. I recommend it.
    Curly Stooge 319 Replies Flag this Response
  • God, I was on my feet for 2 hours today, and it exhausted me. I'm not really in shape, but that's insane. I don't know how I'm going to get through six hour workdays like this (my first job).
    Will89 6 Replies Flag this Response
  • Will,You say you live in Eastern Washington- can you ask your parents to take you to an acupuncturist? Would they listen? Can you find one to talk to I think this would be very helpful. I am very upset that you are only 18 and are on antidepressant meds - which one are you taking? Do you know that they have a BLACK BOX stating the dangers of prescribing these meds to people under 18 years old? Please understand the risks you are taking and look up your drug, and any other meds you might be taking, on www.drugs.com. With that said, DO NOT EVER JUST STOP TAKING YOUR MEDS! This is extremely important. If you feel they aren't helping you, then please talk with your doc about slowly reducing your dosage and weaning yourself off. This is often difficult to do, and depends on the med and how you respond to it. It sounds like you have symptoms other than just low libido and depression. Have you looked into nutritional deficiencies? It is very common in young adults. Look up your symptoms on http://1stholistic.com/Nutrition/hol_nutr-def-symptoms.htm see if any fit - Vit C and B vitamins come to mind. Often depression is due to nutritional deficiency or a lack of proper assimilation of nutrients. A good quality multivitamin may help. Best wishesDOM
    acuann 3080 Replies Flag this Response
  • Do yourself a favor and take hummingbird site info to Dr. If that one doesn't believe you, go to the next...I'm getting more and more repies of people with similar sx...It's certainly worth a shot...Be Well...mommy cat
    mommy cat 1654 Replies Flag this Response
  • Were you born in 1989, a Chinese year of the Snake? Is there an "i" in your name? Then you should be more carefully checked for hypoclycemia (low blood sugar). Try this: through the day, every hour, eat a bit of cheese and about 15 raisins - always protein and carbs together. Never eat much, but frequently. In between, snack on peeled apples, only a quarter at a time. Eliminate ALL simple sugar, artificial sweeteners, processed foods, sweet carbonated drinks, candy etc. In 3 days you will feel better, if this is the problem. But you should also be tested for it. Hypoclycemia happens to Snakes when they go through what seems to be your situation, where there is no "sweetness" in life. The pancreas looks like a tongue, we taste life with it. I don't know you of course, but often it goes as follows: Teenagers are supposed to socialise plenty. Instead they are forced to do algebra and all that. If they had far less school, they'd be more innovative and achieve far more as adults. School depresses all of them to some extent, but at least it seems a closed system with an end. If next they leave school and start working, it seems an open ended misery, in that you start at the bottom and it could go on until you retire. Nobody goes to work to make friends or to socialise - for that they return to their various private lives. The result is that your energy system, already harmed by school, now collapses. It seems lonely to work just so that you can continue a pointless life. The same thing happens with those going to university. It's a bigger place than school and cares less. People often take a degree that doesn't suit them, make serious debt, then have to work to pay it back. Fear and adrenalin may keep them going for a while. Of course, others were so lucky to have a social life, a culture they could love and respect, mentors etc, and they do well. One way to obtain what you missed is to read. Begin with the book "A Course In Miracles (ACIM)" - bookshops know it well.:p
    Curly Stooge 319 Replies Flag this Response
  • I have no doubt you will find these posts interesting -http://forums.wrongdiagnosis.com/showpost.php?p=42284&postcount=10http://forums.wrongdiagnosis.com/showpost.php?p=42295&postcount=20http://forums.wrongdiagnosis.com/showpost.php?p=42182&postcount=18 Remember to read these external pages (in full please): www.drcarley.com and http://members.aol.com/doctorrmosk/articles/hidden.htm - thank you.
    Curly Stooge 319 Replies Flag this Response
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