I'm a 50 yr old woman who was chronically depressed for 8 of the past 10 years. For 5 of those years I self medicated daily with alcohol. Fortunately, as the depression lifted I was able to stop abusing. Probably tried most anti-depressents without much success most likely due to the alcohol. I never had any rehab and have had little counseling over the years. Today, I have very little depression but have concluded I may never be totally free of it. I have an occasional glass of wine which is what my habits were before the depression. I am currently taking 150mg of bupropion twice a day and HRT's. Bottom line, I am a mere shadow of my old self. In particular I am unable to function well cognitively on any consistent basis. I have very poor recall, short memory span, can't maintain focus, easily overwhelmed, etc. I can say that I have improved greatly over the last 4 years but not enough to get, let alone maintain a job. Somedays are better than others which feeds my frustration on not being able to maintain any sort of consistancy. Many 80 year olds function better cognitively. I fear this is permanent and the direct result of the alcohol. To compound things, I'm sure hormones play a role but I would think the HRT's would help balance that. I can definately tell when it's hormones by the triggers I get emotionally. Otherwise, it's as if my mind is literally blank, like I'm day-dreaming, no depth. (This has taken nearly an hour to get this far) I process most everything very slowly and retain little. Sometimes caffeine really ehlps but again, it's temporary. In addition, once the alcohol stopped so did any actual dreaming. Maybe I still do but I am unaware of any. I am looking for anything I can do to get my life back. I am currently without health insurance and desperately need to go back to work. Could this be alcohol induced alzheimers? I would greatly appreciate ANY suggestions and/or comments.Reply Follow This Thread Stop Following This Thread Flag this Discussion
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