Discussions By Condition: I cannot get a diagnosis.

Self-esteem Disorder?

Posted In: I cannot get a diagnosis. 2 Replies
  • Posted By: idoitprone
  • January 3, 2007
  • 11:17 AM

Hi. My name’s Roger, I’m 35 and I would love to diagnose my condition.
I have a very domineering mother and weak father and both are extremely overprotective and old fashioned. As a child I could not invite friends home because of the embarrassment of being verbally scolded by my mother, and I could not relax socially or ‘hang out’ because my parents would monitor, restrict and negatively scrutinize my every move. I have always been very shy and unconfident and I have a disturbingly low and irrational opinion of myself. This extends particularly to women and I have never had a close female friend. I fantasize about women lots but have always been too terrified to get close to women for a profound fear of being inadequate. I have always maintained a changing circle of between 3 to 6 close male friends but have always avoided larger circles. I realise now that I have always subconsciously avoided all opportunities that have passed my way simply because I am so unconfident and terrified of ‘opening up’. I live alone and my close friends are all married or in serious relationships now, living far away; in other words I am completely socially isolated. I have no job because my self-esteem has been so low that I have long since convinced myself that I am unemployable. I have contemplated, planned and even fantasized over suicide increasingly over the last 20 years but I have never done so because I don’t have the balls! I have been sectioned and treated for depression in the past but I have the impression that my diagnosis has always been that “I am a sado” and that I just need to “get a life”. This may be the case but I have tried desperately to get a life for years now and have not succeeded. I am also very intelligent and rational. I truly believe that I am ill and that this illness is some form of personality disorder. This disorder has completely ruined my life so far. Please help!

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2 Replies:

  • I am sorry for your childhood emotional abuse, as that is what it sounds like you experienced. That said, have you been through any therapy? You need to find a good therapist. Medications only mask what you are feeling... I suggest you try to find someone who works with PTSD and light therapy. This can really help. Also acupuncture is very good for emotional issues. One of the best things I can suggest to you is to have a good exercise routine. This will help your whole well being. Read some books on self esteem and write in a journal. The past is the past, but you are still living daily with your experiences. You need to move on and live in the present. Your parents are who they are. They won't change, but you can. Best of luck to you and I hope this helps. Try to find a good light therapist who works with eye movement therapy.Doctor of Oriental Medicine
    acuann 3,080 Replies
    • January 3, 2007
    • 03:03 PM
    • 0
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  • You inherited your parents life patterns. If they were making themselves sick (with what they eat, drink, and toxics at home), you learned that from them+ took their abuse. Sorry about that.Putting the emotional abuse aside ( it is obvious your parents were unwell)- I think you don't have a hardy personality and that can be modified with the right nutrition. Of course nutrition is not going to shape your personality, but it will give you the bio-chemical tools to strive and reach for what you may desire in life.How are your eating habits? Inventory your daily intake of vital nutrients.If you drink and eat processed food- you are really just making yourself sick.Read the book "never be sick again" by Raymond Francis.visit Beyondhealth.com--
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • January 3, 2007
    • 06:39 PM
    • 0
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