Discussions By Condition: I cannot get a diagnosis.

Possible new type of disorder.

Posted In: I cannot get a diagnosis. 4 Replies
  • Posted By: outlawgene
  • October 12, 2007
  • 07:54 PM

Bipolar disorder not a chance There were at least 5 reasons for my mania and with bipolar disorder there are no reasons for mania with bipolar disorder it is something triggered by the disorder and nothing else.. If I have skitzofrienia, my symptoms would appear all at once so not a chance. My hallucinations are already in catagories. I hallucinate for reasons, non reasons, concious hallucinations, even making a haluccination from a vision I am able to create. Drugs did not cause me to hallucinate or have memory loss. I simply can't memorize as well as I used to. I forget things because of what I have and I remember things because of what I have. It is a balance. Lucid dreaming yeah all the time off medication as well as the other things I have mentioned. Skitofreina not a chance if it is it is really weird. I most likely have epilipsy that would explain my manic state if I even had one and skitzofrenia symptoms. And probably my other symptoms. Random symptoms don't occur in known disorders sorry. Epilepsy absolutely not because I never have had a seizure. Uh I might have women's intuition but I haven't proven that yet. Anyway i'm staying doctor diagnosed bipolar disorder. There were advances that came with being diagnosed disabled. Subsidised housing capability. Social security money.Rumors spread so i'm scared to even convince my doctor i'm not bipolar ha. Here's is the socalled maybe called manic episode details. I walked down a subdivision street and I stopped at a mainstreet then my friend held up a sniper rife to my face pointed at me smiling goofily.... I had been believing a million things lately. I walked past her not even regonizing who she is and walked and the rest doesn't matter. But night was the second I was seeing red laser hallucinations that freaked me out and I was paranoid so much I saw hallucinations of the girl with the sniper rifle and her mixed with some guy I don't know who had been stalking me who had thought I was my dad. and him. He looked like 5 different people in 2 days so I thought he was getting drunk and losing weight but come to think of it that doesn't make sense. Who was I seeing anyway? he kept stalking me. Maybe no one. Oh man...ok these were 5 different people and I think one of them really was my brother. I just can't see myself hallucinating reality because I wasn't born with that kind of creativity and I know it. so that kept me thinking all day. I hallucinated based on my creative abilitiy and that is very very very obvious. 5 lookalikes in a week wow thats a coinicidence. oH yeah one of em worked at the library. I saw him when i stopped hallucinating and when I didn't and the other one was just some lookalike of my brother who lives in a subdivision over.then theres one guy who just looks like my dad great that sucks. ok then theres the guy who looks like my other brother who wore a similar shirt my bro wore that day who was with my ex and her sister and my ex waved to me. I started hallucinating replacement words in writings. off topic now on topic. ok I was paraniod i wanted to lock all the doors tell my mom to lock all of them and i was freaking out and was frustrated and when im frustrated I usually think the wrong things because i'm a random guy. I believed a belief that was among my many other stupid believes which I had like a million of that someone in my backyard shot me and i then realized that you can live after that well it has happened before. I wasn't able to think rationally. and i wasn't a day before..a day before.and so on. Today I unconsciously place a mac apple laptop charger in my messenger bag while I was thinking hmm new symptom didn't know I was still randomly having new symptoms. I close my eyes and I see visions. hear not my own thoughts,voices, yesterday I had a new symptom um 2 mindsets/personalities talking to me in my head. Maybe i'm hearing them outside of my head anyway that's not proven. I don't know much about disorders becoming more than their disorder like skitzofriena turning into something more or bipolar disorder turning into something more. I'm on lithium for a mood stabalizer, Geodon for bipolar disorder,Ativan for anxiety, and remeron for sleep, anxeity, it works for depression but i'm not depressed anymore. The geodon helps me with the symptoms. Am I experiencing a new type of disorder?

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4 Replies:

  • I see that you are on medication but it obviously is not working very well. Please go back to your doctor. Print out what you just wrote us. Who wants to go through life with all this weird stuff happening to their mind? Don't you want some peace in your life? The chemicals in your brain are not adjusting to your drug dosages, so bizarre new hallucinations feel like you have a new mental illness. Have you been to a neurologist who can order some brain scans? Go to your doctor today. Would you consider checking yourself into a psychiatric facility so they can adjust your medicine dosage and keep you safe?
    rad-skw 1605 Replies
    • October 13, 2007
    • 07:10 AM
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  • You talk as though all my symptoms are terrible things. Actually hallucinating isn't a problem because if I blink they disappear unfortunetly yesterday I hallucinated words on a mirror and blinked to fast maybe they meant something. Good news is I can enjoy a dream every now and then that I can see at least 70% good visual. My intuition implies that I can evolve but i'm still working on proving that or disproving that. It is a little out there. The random symptoms are why I think I have a new disorder just them being random is enough. A hospital well.. i'm already at 60 mg geodon uh I don't want a doctor accidently overdosing me. 60mg for geodon is already considered perfect. I don't trust people expecially doctors because they are able to make severe mistakes. Even if I am used to geodon 100% it won't matter. I'll still be me. Being used to geodon I am able to remember alot more than I used to beable to. Yeah I guess there are advantages and disadvantages but i'm not trying to be perfect just to live better and happier if I can with my depression..
    outlawgene 2 Replies
    • October 16, 2007
    • 01:27 PM
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  • Society is based on oppinions that don't make sense and are without reason like good, bad, and evil. If it isn't an object or a person it isn't there it is a hallucination that is there in your vision. If it isn't considered normal it shouldn't be there. If your born with it, it should be there. Your supposed to have it. Face it because this is reality not lies that you teach your children.I've heard enough lies. Disorders have done good. Creativy,Bipolar Disorder. My disorder/Creative abiltiies/ability to see your dreams picture clear,different attraction abilities, Hallucinations caused by thinking which can be fun.conscious control of visions/pretty cool. Maybe even the ability to evolve/extraordinary. You say no way then one day your proven wrong just like that. It happens all the time in this era and earlier era's. I don't want your believe I don't even understand belief. I cannot believe because it isn't a function in my thought process. I want you to sit there and wait for a few weeks and see if something happens maybe it it will take longer. Just don't believe because belief is another way of saying I don't know. Note: If you can't use copy/paste drag the selected text over to microsoft word for example..
    outlawgene 2 Replies
    • October 16, 2007
    • 01:51 PM
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  • Hallucinations can be an horrible thing. They can be incredibly seductive and make you think you don't want/can't to live your life without them. You are already at the stage where you are entertained by them and think they are "cool". They are addictive and amusing at first. And by the way, you aren't controlling them, they are controlling you. You were searching for messages in the mirror! Did you think some cosmic being was writing them? They were from your brain. And you didn't know what it said? You do have the power to get back into control again. A new disease? No, just an old medication imbalance/wrong diagnosis. Every time you pick up a newspaper, there is some person who has just annihilated his whole family and the dog, and says voices told him to do it. You are about two seconds away from schizophrenia, whether it is geodon induced, an organic problem in the brain, or a chemical imbalance. Yes, hallucinations and creativity are often paired together and mental problems afflict creative persons routinely. But their creativity is usually cut short by an untimely suicide. Anything you've ever read about these people is that their lives were full of mental anguish and they tortured themselves and their families with emotional outbursts and unexplainable behavior. What does your family say about what is going on with you? Or is it your private little secret?
    rad-skw 1605 Replies
    • October 18, 2007
    • 00:17 PM
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