Discussions By Condition: I cannot get a diagnosis.

My 7yr. old can't get a diagnosis because school dosen't see her issues

Posted In: I cannot get a diagnosis. 13 Replies
  • Posted By: Anonymous
  • February 25, 2009
  • 02:57 AM

My 7 yr old has shown symptoms of ADHD and anxiety for years, we have seen several doctors and never gotten a diagnosis for anything. She dosen't show any of the symptoms at school. Her babysitter has seen the problems as have family and friends, even her friends parents, but she is well behaved at school and her grades are above average. Yet to me she complains that she "feels like her head will explode because she is always sooo worried" she even said she wished she was 21 so she could drink wine to calm down and relax. These are red flags for a mother, yet I can't get anyone to listen to me. We have had some doctors say she needs to talk to a therapist once a week or every other week, but at $150 a pop to teach her breathing technices seems like flushing my time and money down a toliet. They can't seem to understand that the only anxiety she seems to complain about or things she worries about all relate to school or grades in some way. She thinks that not returning her library book on time will get her expelled, or to get in trouble for talking at lunch would be equal to going to jail (to the point that her friends complain that she is no fun to sit with, she is so busy watching the red light in the lunchroom she dosen't eat, and when I visit for lunch she won't even talk to me), we went on a class field trip to the zoo and she spent the whole time reminding her friends of the rules, and watching to make sure no one got to close to an animals or got lost that she missed all the fun, the other chaperones were commmenting that she was going to give herself an ulcer before she is 10. She takes at least 2 hours everynight to calm down enough to fall asleep, and then wakes up throughout the night. But thats just her anxiety symptoms, she also shows ADHD symptoms to the point that both her pediatrician and that doctor that recommended $150 breathing lessons said they thought within the first few minutes of meeting her that they thought she had a hyperactivity disorder (because she constantly talks and loudly, interrupts, argues, and bounces, stands, and climbs on the furniture) yet still no one has had her take any test or evaluation. She is rough and tumble constantly with her siblings, she is clumsy (tripping and running into things right in front of her- her eyesight is fine), she is always digging through drawers and baskets anything even though she knows whats in them because she dug in them yesterday. She says things that hurt other peoples feelings or simply should have been kept to herself but not because she wants to hurt them but because not matter how many times I explain it she dosen't understand that what she is saying is wrong. She struggles to take a shower or brush her teeth because she dosen't want to take the time to do it, but she uses more time complaining about it and makes it worse, homework that should take 30 min takes an hour in a quite room. I asked her why she does this at home and not at school and she said because at school you CAN'T talk to anyone and they CAN'T talk to you and there is just nothing else to do but schoolwork there. School may not see the problems but I see them and hear about them and it is breaking my heart that my 7 yr old is stressed or worried, and that she says she "loves school except it's too hard, not the math momma, the being so good it makes me so tired and grumpy when I get home."

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13 Replies:

  • Get her out of that school. No wonder she gets so anxious all the time if she isn't even allowed to talk to her friends at lunch time. A 7 year old should be developing their social skills and worrying more about playing well with others than following strict rules and getting good grades. I know you want the best for her, but colleges do not care about what grades someone got when they were 7. They DO care that their students are well adjusted and well rounded.
    Leopard 7 Replies
    • February 25, 2009
    • 10:01 PM
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  • It must be so hard as a parent seeing your daughter like this.While I don't have any advice, keep pushing more answers. :) xxxSamanthahttp://www.undiagnosedillness.org
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • February 26, 2009
    • 00:50 AM
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  • Shes like a couple years ago. I am currentl fourteen year old boy. She has the same symptoms as me and everything. My parents thought the same thing too, but my grades were way above average so they couldn't get any second opinions. Anyway a couple years later, I found out I had Social Anxiety Disorder, ADHD, Depression and Insomnia. However there were a couple things that you mentioned that take her out of a couple of these catergories and seem like aspergers syndrome. Just to let u know all my friends have aspergers syndrome, i have things that give me symptoms of it, and it sounds like your daughter has it. it is technically part of the autism spectrum. This syndrome varies extremely widely so when you read up on it and all the symptoms dont match your daughter that is why. The other thing I think you should know is that Aspergers is commonly associated with anxiety. The clumsieness is also a symptom. The hyperactivity can be a symptom. Not understanding what hurts other peoples feelings is the main symptom. She just doesn't understand because of this. With hard work on all fronts your daughter could grow up to be a nearly normal adult. With a promising future.
    davidmt1 11 Replies
    • February 26, 2009
    • 02:29 AM
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  • I was going to suggest anxiety and aspergers syndrome, so i was interested to see that another also had the same thought with what you just said. Im currently living in a house with an Aspergers child and as other said.. ones with Aspergers often suffer from anxiety (they can be constantly analysing things). They also often say things which hurt others feelings cause they just dont understand how others feel. They are clumsy. Asperger's children can be quite smart, sometimes gifted in some areas. Ones with aspergers are often night owls so have sleeping issues. "She struggles to take a shower or brush her teeth because she dosen't want to take the time to do it, but she uses more time complaining about it and makes it worse, homework that should take 30 min takes an hour in a quite room"" Aspergers children can struggle to stay on task. They also have problems organising themselves even as far as ordinary things go. Getting the Aspergers child to do homework, is a nightmare!! Getting him to school on time in the mornings is a nightmare. An Aspergers child will often constantly talk and loudly.. they will often ramble on and on about the same thing. Nearly driving one crazy! Things like bouncing and rocking.. can be an aspergers thing. Take your child to see someone who is familiar with Aspergers to find out if this is her issue or not. Aspergers children dont mean to be bad as such, they just think differently to us and struggle to understand others. If she does have Aspergers, she is probably finding school hard as she says.
    taniaaust1 2267 Replies
    • February 26, 2009
    • 10:03 AM
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  • I was going to suggest Aspergers syndrom as well. My, now 18 year old son has Aspergers that went undiagnosed his whole life because he is extremely smart, academically. Please do not rely or depend on the schools to find and diagnose your children, often they fail. Aspergers is very hard to diagnose because it has many symptoms of many other distorders. You story sounds very familiar and I only wish that we had known about Apsergers years ago. It might help to find a psychiatrist experienced in aspergers and Applied Behavioral Therapy. Many schools are adopting this method in their special ed departments. It is important that your daughter get diagnosed so that you can help to aliviate her anxiety and help her with her adeptation. Personally I would try non medicated therapies. If your insurance doesnot cover mental health, you may be able to get some type of public assistance. Good luck, your daughter is lucky to have parents with their eyes open. Prayers to you and your family. PS, my son is now in his freshman year away at college and is adapting fine...Yvonne
    yvonnemk 1 Replies
    • February 26, 2009
    • 07:02 PM
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  • Being a special education director, she presents with a "medical" condition. I would have her evaluated through a pediatric developmental M.D. (your own expense). If he gives her a diagnosis, you can take that to the school for a 504 plan. The school should, logically, provide her with counseling on a regular basis. It appears to be a medical condition (yes, even autism is considered medical, along with ***OCD***, bi-polar, ADHD). Before any services begin, other than counseling, the medical condition must be documented. You are missing the boat and I think in denial about the child needing counseling--she does, and there are reduced fees or mental health agencies that will provide sessions for her. And, by the way, the school cannot refuse to do a special education evaluation on her once you ask for it, so you can put it in writing and keep a copy and when 60 days rolls around and it's not done, you can see a lawyer...however, what you describe is not special ed, but possible 504 or intervention, along with counseling (probably family counseling, too).
    Monsterlove 2921 Replies
    • February 26, 2009
    • 08:51 PM
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  • HelloI know it's frustrating. I 've had to jump through hoops since my son was 3. He is 13 now and doctors, school officials, psychiatrists, etc have diagnosed so many disorders it was ridiculous. What I've learned, children with ADHD do suffer from Anxiety, OCD, and tourettes. My son was put on Dexedrine 5mg since he was 5, and this helps him calm down. However, I do not think it helps with his concentration, atleast it does not anymore. He is very over dramatic and worries constantly over minor things. The things normal people would not think about on an hourly basis (thunderstorms, massive destruction, germs, blood..etc) But, I do noticed one calming effect for him: Lavendar. I spray a few on his pillow or clothes and he seems more mellow. It is very natural & safe if that is what you're looking for. Hope this helps
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • February 27, 2009
    • 01:36 AM
    • 0
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  • I have lyme disease since I am young and those were my major symptoms.No chronic pain before last year. And then, my adhd, anxiety, ocd, annxiety came worst! Lyme disease is a spirochete that invade all organs and shows different in every people. In childrens, that is often showed like this. But you have to find a good lyme doctor to verify and do the good tests, that will be done on lymenet. Also, your daughter should be put on a diet. Gluten and caseine free diet. This is the recommended diet for autism, anxiety, etc. That will certainly help her even if she would have lyme. Look on the web for this diet. Also, find a dr who could check her thiroid properly. Not only tsh, but free t3 and free t4. That can be in cause too. Good luck!
    Fannou 111 Replies
    • February 27, 2009
    • 11:57 PM
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  • I think the Aspergers idea is a good one,but she seems to have some symptoms of OCD.
    richard wayne2b 1232 Replies
    • February 28, 2009
    • 02:33 PM
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  • It all requires a medical evaluation before the school can provide accommodations through a 504 plan. However, they can provide counseling if the school has one. Since it is not evident at school, it's hard to force them to "do something" when it is not impacting her performance. The parent has the responsibility to provide the child with medical care.
    Monsterlove 2921 Replies
    • February 28, 2009
    • 10:02 PM
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  • I think the Aspergers idea is a good one,but she seems to have some symptoms of OCD. Aspergers Disorder (AD) can often mimic OCD as Aspergers children like sameness and can be ritualistic. "Children with both disorders will demonstrate a need for sameness. Usually the child with ADchooses to eat the same food each day, wear the same clothing, or play the same video game,whereas the child with OCD is looking for sameness in his/her daily routines. If the OCD childexhibits the “sameness” of the AD child it is for a different reason. Both children desire controlPage 3over their environment so that they may perceive it as safe and predictable. However, childrenwith OCD may eat the same foods each day because they are “safe” or not contaminated. Inchildren with AD the reason varies. Children with AD have sensory issues, so they may not likecertain textures, smells, fabrics, or sounds (Kirby, 2003). Sometimes children with OCD may alsocomplain of not liking the feel of the seam on their socks, or be concerned with smells that are“dirty”.Both children will demonstrate difficulty with shifting or transitioning between tasks. For the OCDchild, this is because of the need for symmetry or balance. For example, if a child is working ahome- work assignment on the computer and he is called for dinner, he will want to complete theentire assignment before he begins eating. If he does not complete the assignment, he willcontinue to feel anxious. Another example may include a child in school who has to tap the leftside of the desk the same amount of times as he tapped the right side of the desk. Individualswith AD are resistant to change in their routines, prefer “sameness,” and have difficultytransitioning between tasks. For example, the child may like to always have breakfast beforegetting dressed and then having the parent take the same route to school each morning. An ADchild may become overly upset with even the smallest changes in his environment, such as, theteacher switching the types of crayons used in the classroom. Repetitive activities are a definingcharacteristic of this disorder. These activities are preferred and engaged in at length. Similarly,the individual often has an intense preoccupation with one or two areas (i.e., weather, history,trains, or dinosaurs). Therefore, the child may engage in repetitive play surrounding his area ofspecial interest, such as, lining up his model car collection on the floor. This preoccupation isabnormal in its focus and/or its intensity. In the area of interest, the individual has an incrediblecapability to memorize facts. Although overall conversation ability is typically poor, whendiscussing his area of interest, the individual may possess advanced knowledge on the topic(Treffert,1999). However, when discussing his area of interest, the conversation is usually onesided and the child may not pick-up on social cues regarding the other person’s disinterest orknow when to stop speaking.that this disorder can mimic OCD (Yaryura-Tobias, Stevens, & Neziroglu,1998). Research studiesin the psychology literature have focused on distinguishing between the restricted, repetitive, andstereotypic behavior associated with AD as compared to the compulsions found in OCD (Baron-Cohen, 1989; McDougle, Kresch, Goodman, Naylor, Volkmar, Cohen, & Price, 1995)
    taniaaust1 2267 Replies Flag this Response
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  • I have Asperger's, Social Phobia, Depression, Anxiety Disorder and also some signs of ADD and OCD which are due to the syndrome. I'll be tested in short time for Bipolar Disorder too.To me it sounds like your daughter might have Asperger's.
    Anasthasia 22 Replies Flag this Response
  • I bet shes hyper after being made to sit still at a desk from 730-800am till 2-3pm everyday,with few breaks, i doubt i could handle it!further what of her diet? no high sugars,right? real foods for snacks no colorings in the food.no artificial sweetners either, think about it, before u jump the gun and have her drugged, like so many probably are,un-necessarily.because of lazy parenting.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • January 5, 2011
    • 04:00 AM
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