Hi everyone. First, I would like to say I must be vague due to the agreement I just checked off above, but I will try to be complete, and I thank everyone who takes their time to visit this thread. I will try also to just deal with fact and not emotions (which will be hard). Please stick with me.
For a couple decades I have had mental problems and have had no less than 2 head injuries. I was going to say 2 major head injures but I cannot remember them. Both put me into the hospital. After the 2nd head injury, I have had no less, but possibly as many as 3 suicide attempts.
For the couple decades I have been treated as being depressed, and sometimes as bipolar, but my complants have always been paranoia and memory problems.
The paranoia has been strange as I would know no one was coming to get me, however I would still have feeling whatever I would focusing on was coming to harm me.
The memory problems were not short term. I always knew where I was, I knew the president, and I memorized how to count backwards starting from 100 by 7 (I'm pretty fast).
Before I turn this into a wrong diagnosis question, let me continue...
Finally, I have a great doctor and it seems I have a great psychologist also. It seems I have a TBI (or maybe not).
The MRI didn't show any damage, but I did not have a fMRI. I am going for major Neuropsychology testing.
Problems now are... if I do not have a TBI, what is wrong with me. I am not stressed. My long-term memory is really gone. Example, my only memory from college is my college ID card. People come up to me and say 'hi' and I look at them like I have never seen them before (and it hurts me cause first I feel like a fool, then I cry because I realy have know clue who these people are and then I find out I may have like worked next to them for a couple years). Today someone I actually know, he works next to me, told me that 5 years ago he came to my apartment and bought something from me (a real big item I would remember) and I have no clue.
So, the question is.... (and I am so sorry for the ramble, on one side I am trying to not say too much as to ID myself to a google search, but at the other side, I am trying to be open, but at a third side (third side? lol) I just get lost) ...
if I end up not having a tramatic brain injury (which I can't imagine I don't have)... what else could be wrong with me?
if you guys need any more info, please ask.