Discussions By Condition: I cannot get a diagnosis.

it started with a groin rash...unprotected sex is bad...

Posted In: I cannot get a diagnosis. 7 Replies
  • Posted By: fitzy111
  • September 4, 2009
  • 10:14 PM

a few months ago my girlfriend and I had unprotected sex (after a few times of having protected sex...) It started with unprotected anal, and I later cleaned up and (duh) :confused: put a lambskin condom on for the rest of the sex play- I can say that I thought I had an allergy to lambskins or heat rash from doing a lot of motorcycle riding- or the lube we used ..all I can say is it was stupid not using a condom...anyhow the next day I had a rash around my groin and stomach, that over three days to got worse. I had some flu like symptoms and in five days it was gone... my wife -had not idea about the girlfriend who swore she was clean, and after having unprotected sex with her- she developed bumps, and she didn't know about the girlfriend. - I told her about the other woman and she went out and had an STD battery done that week... she was swabbed and came back positive for herpes 2 :eek:. I can say that we both had swollen glands in out throats and these symptoms went away when her doc gave us valtrex 500mg. but get this - both the other woman and I just got our test results back and we both are negative for everything (no herpes, no HIV/aids, or any other STDs). the other woman is really upset with me for telling her she gave me herpes -but my question is this, from what i'm reading in the forums here herpes doesn't start with a rash does it?:mad: --- does anyone know if herpes starts out with a groin rash that might spread up the stomach and lower chest before turning almost in to a flu like symptom, I am not having sex with anyone again until I'm tested again in a few months - I figure, i've messed my life and a lot of other lives up doing what I've done, maybe I can share my story and be a bad example so someone else won't make the mistakes I've made. I hope that other people will not make the mistake I've made...

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7 Replies:

  • It's really disturbing but the tests for herpes 2 are not always reliable and you and lady 1 probably tested false negative. This is very common. With your symptoms, do assume that you have herpes and I would assume 100% since your wife tested positive. You can inform lady 1 of false negative and that she gave it to you, most likely. She probably has it sitting internally in her rectum and does not get symptoms--or she is lying and discounted any sypmtoms, like her initial outbreak. Also, if they did not do an IgM test and only did IgG test, it will be negative...lots of factors in false negatives, but if tested positive, few false positives. Consider yourself contagious, in the meantime, and get tested again in 3 months for everything. You will know if it heals, comes back, heals, comes back....some people only break out once and discount it as bug bites or an allergy. You responded to Valtrex, so come on..the other woman is in denial and will continue to spread it. Perhaps half of herpes starts with rash, other half have no symptoms and don't know they have it.
    Monsterlove 2921 Replies
    • September 5, 2009
    • 09:28 PM
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  • It's really disturbing but the tests for herpes 2 are not always reliable and you and lady 1 probably tested false negative. This is very common. With your symptoms, do assume that you have herpes and I would assume 100% since your wife tested positive. You can inform lady 1 of false negative and that she gave it to you, most likely. She probably has it sitting internally in her rectum and does not get symptoms--or she is lying and discounted any symptoms, like her initial outbreak. Also, if they did not do an IgM test and only did IgG test, it will be negative...lots of factors in false negatives, but if tested positive, few false positives. Consider yourself contagious, in the meantime, and get tested again in 3 months for everything. You will know if it heals, comes back, heals, comes back....some people only break out once and discount it as bug bites or an allergy. You responded to Valtrex, so come on..the other woman is in denial and will continue to spread it. Perhaps half of herpes starts with rash, other half have no symptoms and don't know they have it.I know I have it - , that's why I posted this, I was just worried it's something worse like HIV starting with a rash, I didn't know that herpes started out like that... Lady1 isn't listening to me anymore, she was really not wanting to hear anything about this- I am also worried that the lady1 is in denial and someone might not be as understanding as I was to get this from her...things will get ugly if she infects the wrong person...what bothers me about this situation is bringing it home/ even if I was leaving for good- and I am getting divorced (I should have done that sooner too)- I can't undo this mess. I don't have any real noticeable symptoms with the exception of that rash that I had. (well maybe off and on swollen glands. but i can live with that) does this stuff ever get better or does everyone that has this suffer forever struggling with outbreaks and problems. what is the difference between the IgM test and the IgG test? remember also that I was just exposed to this stuff, this rash happened mid July and I was tested the first week of Aug- so I'm not really surprised that I'm negative after seeing on my test that a person recently exposed might not be positive for up to 90 days... and yes I tried my best to tell Lady1 this, but while I was dealing w/ my suicidal soon to be x wife, my hands were full.
    fitzy111 3 Replies
    • September 5, 2009
    • 09:44 PM
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  • Sorry about your poor, soon to be ex wife. It's such an emotional roller coaster and the emotional aspect is probably worse than the disease itself. The best thing for physical symptoms seems to be lauricidin from www.lauricidin.com. As far as emotions, that can last a long time, so I think the emotional aspect is far more serious than the disease itself. As you see, thoughts of suicide are real when first contracting herpes. Doctors need to do some counseling or refer to a support group of some type to help with the shock. The only think that may help is if she /you get involved with tapping--emotional freedom technique:www.emofree.comYes, you will get better and better and the outbreaks will lessen; perhaps you will never get another outbreak. The flu like symptoms may hang on for weeks, however, and it may be replaced by tenderness in the lower back. There may be episodes of having trouble walking as the nerves inflame from time to time. Some people are never bothered by it. Some people have few outbreaks or only one. Some mistake it for jock itch or bug bites or razor burn (those in denial). Tempers and emotions are at their hottest and yes, an angry man may just react on instinct that his manhood has changed. Some men are incredible and just "get over it". Some and many are in denial that they may have it. Some don't want to know. When they hear it the second time (another victim), then they may begin to think towards that direction. Lady 1 is an ******e and you may begin to recognize her as one as you see your wife in hysterics and your own emotions for leaving the relationship that way--probably have to deal with some guilt. There is nothing good about it other than you begin to realize that it probably won't kill you and you will begin to use condoms all the time or just give up sex for a while. Manage it with diet at first; you can search herpes diet online, and the lauricidin. The drug companies just want to get rich off of herpes so no cure /research for cures will be available. If so, the FDA will keep the cure away from the public for dozen and dozen of years. It's a political/FDA/drug company disease that should have easily been researched. Think of it, if there is a chickenpox vaccine, there has to be a herpes vaccine, too. This explains the tests:http://www.webmd.com/genital-herpes/guide/genital-herpes-diagnosisalso, the iGg are antibodies that come in when you have had the virus for a while. Lady 1 may just have had an iGm test, which is for new cases. Not sure if you had blood work or the rash scraped. You should be tested for both types. Of course, without saying your more serious concerns are for hiv and if this lady is "open" to anal sex, she may be having sex with bi-sexual men. HIV would not give you any symptoms immediately. That takes a while, so sounds like your rash was the herpes rash. You also need to be tested for hepatitis, another disease worse than herpes. Get tested again in three months. Sorry; it's a shocker..you seem sensitive and realistic about this.
    Monsterlove 2921 Replies
    • September 6, 2009
    • 07:35 AM
    • 0
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  • Sorry about your poor, soon to be ex wife. It's such an emotional roller coaster and the emotional aspect is probably worse than the disease itself. The best thing for physical symptoms seems to be lauricidin from www.lauricidin.com. As far as emotions, that can last a long time, so I think the emotional aspect is far more serious than the disease itself. As you see, thoughts of suicide are real when first contracting herpes. Doctors need to do some counseling or refer to a support group of some type to help with the shock. The only think that may help is if she /you get involved with tapping--emotional freedom technique:www.emofree.comYes, you will get better and better and the outbreaks will lessen; perhaps you will never get another outbreak. The flu like symptoms may hang on for weeks, however, and it may be replaced by tenderness in the lower back. There may be episodes of having trouble walking as the nerves inflame from time to time. Some people are never bothered by it. Some people have few outbreaks or only one. Some mistake it for jock itch or bug bites or razor burn (those in denial). Tempers and emotions are at their hottest and yes, an angry man may just react on instinct that his manhood has changed. Some men are incredible and just "get over it". Some and many are in denial that they may have it. Some don't want to know. When they hear it the second time (another victim), then they may begin to think towards that direction. Lady 1 is an ******e and you may begin to recognize her as one as you see your wife in hysterics and your own emotions for leaving the relationship that way--probably have to deal with some guilt. There is nothing good about it other than you begin to realize that it probably won't kill you and you will begin to use condoms all the time or just give up sex for a while. Manage it with diet at first; you can search herpes diet online, and the lauricidin. The drug companies just want to get rich off of herpes so no cure /research for cures will be available. If so, the FDA will keep the cure away from the public for dozen and dozen of years. It's a political/FDA/drug company disease that should have easily been researched. Think of it, if there is a chickenpox vaccine, there has to be a herpes vaccine, too. This explains the tests:http://www.webmd.com/genital-herpes/guide/genital-herpes-diagnosisalso, the iGg are antibodies that come in when you have had the virus for a while. Lady 1 may just have had an iGm test, which is for new cases. Not sure if you had blood work or the rash scraped. You should be tested for both types. Of course, without saying your more serious concerns are for hiv and if this lady is "open" to anal sex, she may be having sex with bi-sexual men. HIV would not give you any symptoms immediately. That takes a while, so sounds like your rash was the herpes rash. You also need to be tested for hepatitis, another disease worse than herpes. Get tested again in three months. Sorry; it's a shocker..you seem sensitive and realistic about this.I've been tested for everything about a month after the rash- and nothing came back positive- but reality is I had the rash, and have herpes... yes I am terrified of HIV/AIDS. herpes isn't something I wanted either, but if it doesn't kill me...things could always be worse- I was negative for hepatitis- I had blood drawn for my tests, and urine taken. I was not swabbed while I had the rash (my x wife was swabbed with a bump in her groin), it went away before I made it in to the dr's office. sensitive and realistic... I was totally in love with lady1 and this whole thing has crushed me, she doesn't want to hear that I have this now, and I got it from her- what worse way then finding out from your spouse you passed an STD on to them cheating, yeah this sucks like nothing I've ever been around, nothing I've ever done has been this bad. I can say I didn't know I had something, I just thought it was a heat rash- and she said she was clean.... yeah that is something really hard to deal with too. when she is in denial like that or just plain out lying that she doesn't have something- you know if your writing on this site just how un-fair this whole situation is, and I can only kick myself in the **s for a while, wishing I'd protected my assets better in this mess. am I mad? yeah I was really mad/ but how can I be mad at someone I love, (being with her wasn't about sex- it was about sharing our lives.) and I would do that again- because I felt I loved her, and still do- even if she is in denial, and can't deal with having an STD- I just hope that she figures things out before she infects someone else- and they hurt her somehow -I'm sure that happens all the time. (and I really miss my friend lady1- we were friends before we got together...it's too bad all that changes when you get something like this.)
    fitzy111 3 Replies
    • September 6, 2009
    • 00:15 PM
    • 0
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  • I've been tested for everything about a month after the rash- and nothing came back positive- but reality is I had the rash, and have herpes... yes I am terrified of HIV/AIDS. herpes isn't something I wanted either, but if it doesn't kill me...things could always be worse- I was negative for hepatitis- I had blood drawn for my tests, and urine taken. I was not swabbed while I had the rash (my x wife was swabbed with a bump in her groin), it went away before I made it in to the dr's office. sensitive and realistic... I was totally in love with lady1 and this whole thing has crushed me, she doesn't want to hear that I have this now, and I got it from her- what worse way then finding out from your spouse you passed an STD on to them cheating, yeah this sucks like nothing I've ever been around, nothing I've ever done has been this bad. I can say I didn't know I had something, I just thought it was a heat rash- and she said she was clean.... yeah that is something really hard to deal with too. when she is in denial like that or just plain out lying that she doesn't have something- you know if your writing on this site just how un-fair this whole situation is, and I can only kick myself in the **s for a while, wishing I'd protected my assets better in this mess. am I mad? yeah I was really mad/ but how can I be mad at someone I love, (being with her wasn't about sex- it was about sharing our lives.) and I would do that again- because I felt I loved her, and still do- even if she is in denial, and can't deal with having an STD- I just hope that she figures things out before she infects someone else- and they hurt her somehow -I'm sure that happens all the time. (and I really miss my friend lady1- we were friends before we got together...it's too bad all that changes when you get something like this.)Monsterlove- hey I did some looking that stuff you've suggested I use, Lauricidin - where can I get the product. After doing some online research it looks like it is coconut oil extract...and changing diet while on the Atkins diet isn't going to be easy, but really who am I impressing? :rolleyes: lol. I've seen the Lauricidin listed as monolaurin so I'm not really confused, just looking for a chain health food place that might have this, isn't it easier to buy coconut oil and add it to something like coffee. I might have to try that (as the oil is a food from what I've read, and taking it pill form requires alot of pills to make a difference.) let me know your thoughts on where I can get this....GNC ect?
    fitzy111 3 Replies
    • September 6, 2009
    • 09:55 PM
    • 0
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  • here you go:http://www.lauricidin.com/ it has the comparisons and a doctor on the site to answer questions.
    Monsterlove 2921 Replies
    • September 10, 2009
    • 00:44 AM
    • 0
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  • there are also support groups both online and locally, along with online "love" connection sites.
    Monsterlove 2921 Replies
    • September 12, 2009
    • 07:20 PM
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