Discussions By Condition: I cannot get a diagnosis.

I was wondering if someone might be able to help us

Posted In: I cannot get a diagnosis. 4 Replies
  • Posted By: Anonymous
  • May 15, 2007
  • 07:10 PM

My fiance' is a great guy, but sometimes he has these outbursts of anger. He would never hit me, because that is the first thing everyone asks, so don't worry.:) The thing is I was on the phone with his mom the other day during one of these outbursts and she said that his father had a thyroid condition and it caused him to become violent. The stories that my fiance and his sisters tell me about their father are horrible and scary. The most frequently told and most vivid story is of my fiance's mom getting beat up by the father and having her head beat into the radiator in the living room. My fiances biggest fear is to be like his dad.
The big thing is i asked him after the conversation with his mom if he knew why he was angry when he was getting angry. He said sometimes but other times the anger just pops up and he doesnt know what set him off.
I am worried for our family because the outbursts are becoming more frequent since the birth of our daughter. I know he loves her so much and he never yells at her but the yelling at me has increase significantly.
Is this possibly a handed down thyroid disorder from his father?
some of the other things that made me think of thyroids is :
if it gets too hot he will throw up from the heat, He is sensitive to light, he has a low appetite for someone of his size, nightmares (of his father), increased drinking of alcoholic bev., unexplainable frustration, irritability, mood swings.
I am not hoping for a diagnoses, but I am hoping to have some ideas for when I go to my doctor. Any ideas let me know thank you bunches.

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4 Replies:

  • Wow, I am sorry I don't have any really good suggestions for your doctor but rather a tip for you. I grew up with a loving but stressed-out father capable of sudden outburts over nothing. I have also worked with families with anger management problems and especially in families where one member has anger outburts i like to leave a tip. Pack a small bag with an extra set of clothes, one for you and one for your daughter. In your daughter's include diapers, som toys... anything that might be needed for an overnight. This way should you need to avoid your husband during an outburst you can quickly and quietly take your baby and leave until he has calmed down. Whether this has a medical cause or not, your number one priority should be you and your daughters health. Seems like you have enough experience with his outbursts that you could judge if its more then usual. If so dont try and talk him down. Just say you are going for a walk with the baby, and go stay with someone until he has calmed down. You dont have to tell him you have these bags packed, and its actually better if you dont so he doesnt see them for what they are. If possible leave them in a closet by the door or in a garage near to the car. Think of it as an insurance policy. I hope you never need to use them.. but just in case..... Good Luck! Anjya :)
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
  • anjya has a very good suggestion to this problem. I don't have any experience on this because I come from a big family and we don't have anger outburst. Whatever your religion is, try to pray and pour out your problems to the God you serve. Psychologically, you would feel better that you tell someone how you feel. Take heart what's in a US dollar bill that says 'In God We trust".
    billdots 5 Replies Flag this Response
  • Dear jinxed...go to www.ahummingbirdsguide.com all of your boyfriends symptoms are thereI know, I have them too as well as thousands on this site, all over the countryThere was an outbreak in the 80's PLEASE print Hummingbird site...symptoms page...test pagetake to his docwith copies of any other tests tell him I have nighmares/vivid dreams every night If you want to...try to google some symptom checkersthat's what I did...I entered diarrhea, flushing, nightmares and nightsweats It will bring you to ME sites CFS sites in USAthere is no diagnostic code for ME in USA...even though the world health organization lists it as a code on their list...not is USA??? still working on that Good Luck to both...by the way...the anger thing...it's not because he's a man...I have it toosigned...a sick little girl...mommy cat read where I've posted...you'll get the picture
    mommy cat 1654 Replies Flag this Response
  • I think this is hyperthyroidism, I have family with the outburst problem. Treatment only goes so far. I recommend NOT ignoring or indulging it, because that will allow him to get far worse. Always explain (from on high) that it needs to change now, as it is uncivilized. He will then deny it, or be sorry for himself instead of for you (psychopath behaviour). It IS that bad. He will do anything to attract attention. If his biggest fear really is to be like his dad, then he should grow up right now and pay much more attention to his behaviour, making some effort. You might not be much affected, as you didn't live with this from birth. But your child has to see it and will be disgusted, it will ruin her. He will soon show the same sweeping disregard towards her, the moment she becomes a person in her own right. A toddler does not threaten his complete freedom, but he cannot relate to equals. He loves nobody, because he doesn't love himself. He knows how to pretend though. All of life is a stage.I have seen such outbursts immediately stopped by a convincing warning of violence - they sure can control it if they want to, and it helps that they are cowards. The Goths had a law that a woman may only chase her husband with a whip until he reaches adult members of his blood family. I'm NOT saying argue or fight, as his type loves nothing more than a fight. I'm saying, set and expect a high standard of civility. Train him, or leave him. Be aristocratic. Make him have to work for your respect - never slamming doors, knocking before entry, etc. Eventually he will be grateful. Otherwise his naughtiness will disqualify all his good aspects, just as it happened with this father. Explain this academically, don't forever try to pacify him into it, or it will be too much fun. Rehearse your lines, speak them calmly, but ALWAYS speak them. What he needs is accurate dispassionate truth, every day, without room for argument. You need to have a backbone, as you have a duty concerning your child. May God help you, and especially your child.
    Curly Stooge 319 Replies Flag this Response
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