Discussions By Condition: I cannot get a diagnosis.

I have a mental illness but no doctor will tell me what it is!!

Posted In: I cannot get a diagnosis. 50 Replies
  • Posted By: imnottarded
  • April 8, 2009
  • 02:37 PM

This is a list of symptoms I experience, some more than others:

Ups and downs - One minute I can be perfectly fine, the next something will set me off and I'll become irate and sometimes violent, then it will turn into deep sadness. I'll experience hyperactivity, anger and depression all mixed into a few days, sometimes going back and forth between the 3

Suicidal thoughts - thinking about how I would kill myself

Social Withdrawal - I prefer to be alone (or with my husband) and the thought of making friends or making plans with friends scares me

Disturbing thoughts (torture) - feeling that someone is stabbing me with a knife, or me stabbing a person or an animal

Self harm

Auditory hallucinations
Spinning mind/thoughts
Floating/weightless feeling
Problems with sight - things up close look very far away and continue to move further away -- these last 4 happen all at once and I'll hear a rush of noises or just a bunch of people mumbling, it lasts for a few minutes (I've had this since I can remember)

Rapid/jerking eye movements
Increased heart rate (between 90-100bpm) -- these 2 happen all of a sudden and I almost feel like I'm falling

Talking with people who are not there, sometimes normal conversation, other times violent (I've also done this since I can remember)

Shaky and cold when driving in a car (once in a while as a passenger)

Paranoid and untrusting of others

Anxious when in social situations, until I have a glass or two of wine

Chest pains that last for minutes, hard to breathe because of a sharp pain like I'm being stabbed

I don't have a psychiatrist that I go to because I don't like them. My general doctor was given this list and he prescribed me Risperidone but I stopped taking it because it was bothering my stomach severly. He never told me what I had. Another doctor was reluctant to tell me after I asked her and finally said I had Depression and Psychosis but never gave me any options as to how I should fix it.

Can anyone help me, or point me in the right direction so I can find a cure? I can't work because of all this. And I'm not interested in seeing a shrink of any kind because I cannot afford it, even with insurance.

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50 Replies:

  • *bump* Can anyone tell me what this is??
    imnottarded 10 Replies Flag this Response
  • Many of your symptoms sound similar to schizophrenia. http://psyweb.com/Mdisord/MdisordADV/AdvSchid.jspAnd Risperidone is one of the drugs used to treat schizophrenia.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RisperidoneIf your doctor is not giving you the answers you deserve, try another. And perhaps you could try a different medication. Don't give up. :) Please try and find a doctor who specializes in this type of disease. Regular family doctors may not be able to help. You need someone who understands all the aspects of this disease.
    Beth56 272 Replies Flag this Response
  • This sounds very much like schizophrenia to me. The fact that you don't like psychiatrists and that you feel your doctors are keeping information from you sounds like typical paranoia associated with schizophrenia. I would suggest seeing a specialist.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
  • All the symptoms you have listed match with a spirit possesion. This is something that happens more often than we think. There are a few brave psychiatrists that have published their findings in this area. Dr. Edith Fiore has published some books and you could read them to understand what is happening to you. Dr. Baldwin (Spirit Releasement Therapy) has also published some books and has a website where you can find very good information and also a therapist to treat your condition.Releasing the "entities" that may be obssesing you is easy, with the appropriate tools.You can search for Spiritual Healers too, that have and can probe their knowledge to help you release these entities. Most of the times or maybe always you will be misdiagnosed, so why not giving you a chance to search for an alternative method of healing and start to feel better and what is most important to get yourself back to you !
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
  • Okay, please provide me with the following: 1) your age 2) How long the symptoms have been occurring, particularly the hallucinations, as well as the duration of the hallucinations, ie number of hours, days, weeks or months that they are present. 3) Whether you are experiencing any changes in hygiene, ie lack of interest or attention to bathing, wearing clean clothes, brushing your teeth, etc. 4) When you say that you've experienced "a rush of sound" for as long as you can remember, please indicate precisely how long. Do you mean since childhood and more specifically, at what age did you first experience the symptom? Aside from your responses to the questions, your symptoms would not suggest schizophrenia or schizophreniform. Major clinical depression with brief psychosis would be the more likely underlying cause here. The sensory disturbances are common in depressive psychosis: Visual disturbances of the character described is known as micropsia and is a perceptual disturbance rather than anything to do with your vision. It is often observed in persons experiencing other psychosomatic sequelae such as auditory hallucinations. Micropsia can, however, also be a symptom associated with a particular kind of seizure and we'll talk more about that in the conclusion to my response. Your auditory hallucinations would also tend to suggest brief psychosis rather than the result of schizophreniform influence, with the majority of the experience representing vocal ruminations to others that aren't there. The "rush of sound" is more of a perceptual disturbance rather than hearing true voices. In cases of schizophrenia, there is a lack of distinction between reality and psychosis. In other words, you recognize the phenomenon to be inconsistent with reality. Insight is not common with schizophrenia-related disorders. Experiencing graphic thoughts or images is, again, very common among persons with severe depression or anxiety. Constant ruminations about loss of control or exacting horrific pain or uncontrollable physical rage upon others is evidence of emotional trauma, feeling trapped in present circumstances or perceptions that someone or something is exerting unfair and prejudiced control over aspects or your life that you feel powerless to change. These ruminations are very often consistent with parnoid delusions as well, indicating a growing mistrust of others and feelings of overt inadequacy that produces near constant internal anger. The extreme mood swings are known as rapid cycling and can be associated with bipolar disorders, as well as clinical depression in some instances. The distinguishing features would be whether when you're "fine" it constitutes normal emotional patency for you or alternatively whether you feel extraordinarly elated or emotionally high, energetic and talkative. The rapid, jerking eye movements would need some more clarification: Do the movements represent extreme horizontal alternation or is it more as though they move in all directions with no fixation upon anything in your visual range? The sudden increase in heart rate and sensation of falling is more likely due to brief panic threshold and often results from shallow breathing and mild neurochemistry dysregulation. The chest pains are resulting from a phenomenon known as DaCosta's syndrome and results from musculoskeletal spasms of the chest wall. It is the consequence of intense anxiety and very often mistaken for initial symptoms of a heart attack. DaCosta's syndrome is actually quite harmless and is not associated with cardiovascular pathology of any type. Social anixety that is relieved by disinhibitory influences such as alcohol would not be suggestive of schizophrenia but rather attenuation of intense anxiety as a factor of clinical depression, often found to co-exist in some patients. The most proper course of treatment here would be therapy with a mood stabilizer such as Depakote in low dose, that can be combined later with an SSRI if no positive change is experienced. The drug Depakote is actually in the class of anti-epileptic medications but provides excellent mood stabilization in low doses. Use of antipsychotics such as Respiradone would not be appropriate in your case. The use of the therapeutic drugs mentioned should initially be considered for short-term therapy and absolutely combined with professional therapy to determine the underlying nature of circumstances that may be precipitating or aggrevating your condition. In many instances, physicians will prescribe medications in the absence of determining the patient's social or environmental circumstances and I'm constrained to point out here that no amount of medication can overcome a traumatic environment or inescapable circumstances. By example of what I mean by the above statement, a hypothetical patient could develop severe clinical depression and anxiety if faced with spousal infidelity or abuse that produces overwhelming anger, mistrust and retaliatory references, but yet the patient would be unable to escape the circumstances due to fears of inadequacy and hopelessness concerning self-support and independence. I describe this scenario merely as an example which could produce the type of chronic emotional trauma often necessary to produce the level of depression/anxiety required to elicit intermittent psychosis. It does not suggest that your problem is related to such circumstances and any instance where perceptions become distorted that would induce the feelings of purposeful or intentional emotional pain directed toward you that seem inescapable would suffice. In addition, these perceptions can be related to either a past unresolved circumstance or a contemporary one as well. Lastly, depending upon your responses, the other possibility to consider here is a certain form of seizure disorder that would produce the micropsia, eye movements, auditory hallucinations and some of the other symptoms described. This would be investigated initially by performing a sleep-deprived EEG. It could very well be the underlying problem here and again, depending upon your responses we'll discuss it further. Best regards, J Cottle, MD
    JCottleMD 580 Replies Flag this Response
  • I'm one of Jehovah's Witnesses, I was brought up this way. There is no "posessed spirit" in me or anyone in my family. And I am not involved in any cult worship so there is no reason that that would be my problem. J Cottle, thank you for your response. I'll try to answer as best as I can remember. I'm 24 years old. I've experienced the auditory hallucinations ever since I can remember. Maybe age 5 or 7? I really can't recall a lot before 10, just bits and pieces. The sounds typically last for a few minutes, but sometimes it can be as much as 15 minutes. I don't notice any pattern with them. I know a couple years ago not having them at all and then out of the blue I'd get them every couple months. Once in a while I'll have 2 a month. While I'm hearing these sounds I also have a sensation that I'm floating and everything around me is moving really fast, but also very slow - I think I may have said that in my initial statement up top. As soon as the sounds go away so does the movement, but leaving me feeling a little out of it like my energy has been drained. If I'm having an off day when I'm depressed I tend to be very unproductive. Not bathing or brushing my teeth until later in the day, if I do it at all. I have an obsession with things being clean so I think this helps me sometimes in keeping up with hygiene. Also, I'm not sure if I mentioned this above, but I was doing really well while on the Risperidone. My husband said I was very relaxed and chill. I don't remember feeling depressed with it. I started taking it this past January, starting on 2mg for 2 weeks, then I switched to 4mg for one week but I was so tired all the time so I switched back to 2 mg and took that until the beginning of March. It was bothering my digestion severely and I had such little energy so I decided to stop taking it. There is a small history of seizures in my family. One of my brothers had two when he was younger (age 10 and under), but he's never had them since. My father's mother I believe has epileptic seizures. When I have the rapid eye movements it's like my pupils are darting back and forth horizontally. I've never actually seen them do it but I can definitely feel it. It gets better if I move around, so this is something that only happens when I'm sitting down. I had a pretty good life growing up. My parents were happily married (still are). My two older brothers were like my best friends. Outside of the home I usually had one friend at a time. One of them would tease me about my not socializing with anyone else. I didn't have any friends in school and I generally wouldn't talk to people. Teachers would always write on my report cards that I needed to open up more and get more involved with the class. When I was 16 one of my brothers fell to the wayside and got involved in drugs and alcohol, this hurt me deeply and brought on all the depression. A couple years later my oldest brother gave my parents custody to his daughter because his wife was abusive and loose - also related to a cop so she had my parents falsely arrested, this made my depression even worse. The next year I was somewhat in love with one of my brothers friends but he too ended up heavily involved in drugs, almost died and this is what started the cutting. A year later my parents and I moved to Maine, I had no friends up there. I couldn't find a job and I basically woke up, watched TV, played video games, ate dinner and then went back to bed. And that was my life for 10 months until I moved back to CT with my oldest brother. I got my old job back but I would always come home a mess and just want to die because it was too much for me to do. I got married 6 months later, quit my job and I haven't worked since (early 2005). I've tried going back to work but I end up feeling very depressed and I get nervous. And that's basically my life. It was really great but it did have a couple downs, but nothing that I think would make a huge impact. There was no abuse of any kind. Do you have any idea what it is, or associated to, when I'm talking to others who are not in the room?
    imnottarded 10 Replies Flag this Response
  • Based upon your response, my suggestion is that you obtain a referral to a neurologist or epileptologist to evalute whether you may be suffering from complex partial seizures which would account for the micropsia and auditory hallucinations among your other symptoms. A sleep-deprived EEG would be a reasonable test, among other diagnostic criteria, to either confirm or rule out seizures of the type described. Secondly, it appears to at least some extent that significant clinical depression is evident and should be treated. Again, use of mood stabilizers such as Depakote would be beneficial. The reason that I stiputate antipsychotics to be inappropriate in your instance is that no clinical evidence exists, or at least was not described to any detail, which would suggest your problem to be entirely psychiatric in origin. Regardless of whether you are responding well to the drug, the underlying cause needs to be evaluated for a more clear determination, which I had understood was part of the problem which led you to post on this forum. While the common cold or muscle strain can be treated symptomatically, it is far less prudent to prescribe medications in the presence of psychiatric sequelae in efforts to determine whether a positive response is observed as a substitute for more thorough diagnostic evaluation to discover the cause. Best regards, J Cottle, MD
    JCottleMD 580 Replies Flag this Response
  • I disagree with it being just clinical depression, yes I have lows and suicidal thoughts but I also have elevated moods with impulses and hyperactivity, and seeing how an anti-psychotic made me feel leveled out completely is another reason I believe it's not clinical depression. I'm not sad all the time. My mom has severe depression, since she was younger and I know aside from the downs...my symptoms are nothing like hers, they're more drastic and "crazy". I assume that if a medication prescribed is working and alleviating your symptoms...then isn't what that's presribed for the answer?
    imnottarded 10 Replies Flag this Response
  • I never stated that your symptoms were strictly due to clinical depression. You need to re-read my reply. Attempting to make comparisons between your symptoms and those of a family member, your mother in this instance, for diagnostic purposes in the absence of clinical training is entirely subjective.Again, the use of anti-psychotics where the underlying cause is undetermined is not the best course. Simply because you respond positively to these drugs, does not confer any type of diagnostic value. You also stated that you terminated use of the Resperidone because of the side-effects. Your replies in general appear to contradict clinical impressions concerning your symptoms. If you feel certain that you already understand the ramifications of your illness, then seeking a "cure" from the medical community may represent a challenge not worth the fight, if you see my point. Best regards, J Cottle, MD
    JCottleMD 580 Replies Flag this Response
  • ok, I am not a "doctor" but I have a lot of experience in therapy, having had to pull myself and others along thus far, I have worked with emotionally disturbed children and a spouse and I myself was neglected and had social delays resulting from this as well. Now- let's get some things straight here so you understand some things I have noted in your descriptions. You say you do not have memory before 10 really. This is not normal. You need to seek a therapist who is referred to you by a friend because they had good results with him/her. Once you reconstruct this memory things should become clear as to what really happened when you were small. No one is making your family our to be a bad one when I continue here- my family is terrific- but I was neglected all the same. I think the fact that your mom is depressed may mean that something is NOT all right with her relationship with your dad. Just because there is no fighting doesn't mean they are happy. Many spouses are on anti-depressants due to their spouse. No one is saying she is unhappy but you will have to search your memory to understand what is happening. It is good that they have religion but that does not exclude anyone from doing things they should not be doing, and I am not accusing anyone of anything here either. You see, because your first ten years are a blank and you show signs of neglect, and withdrawn-ness, you also become depressed when you are unhappy instead of speaking to someone about what you would like to have in your life, like moving back to CT. I am concerned that those first ten years may hold a key to your disheveledness. You may not have a disorder at all. You may have been abused. It doesn't have to have been by a family member, it could have been a neighbor. People may be in denial about what happened to you and are just pushing it under the rug or even not aware. But whatever it is - it can be reversed. But you have to dig down deep to find out what you lived those first 10 years. I believe you are ready too because you are seekig answers. Now - emotionally disturbed people are not "born", they are created by the circumstances which they have had to endure, perhaps this is the cause of your mom's depression- you noted I said PERHAPS. You need to go to a good therapist and anaylize with her/him. Your cutting when something happens that you don't agree with. Why don't you converse with others, even your own family members if you have no friends? Because it was not an option. I don't care how nice your folks are and how much you love them there is NO conversation there. No one is speaking to each other. Or you would be drawn into conversation. You see- a depressed mom cannot help anyone else. She is consumed by her depression. It is not her fault, regardless you have been neglected due to this depression, you can still and should still love her but you were denied conversation. The brothers getting into drugs, this is many times because there is no family environment, or understanding, or it may be because the atmosphere was prone to drug use by the neighbors and community. But your responses are those of someone who is just accumulating grief and has no release of it. Other than to act out in self-inflicting injury. You can speak to them about your thoughts. but if you cannot then something is blocking you. Something has been blocking you and it comes from something that happened in those first ten years. These things are coming at you so you can discover and release. it is scary and it is taking you over but it is necessary for you to get passed this. So, relax and let the body cleanse itself. Do not hurt yourself anymore. Write your thoughts in a book when you feel like doing something to yourself and ask yourself why and answer yourself and analyze you. I hope you find a good therapist. And read books to help yourself too. LOVE by Leo GiglioniAllen Frome wrote many good ones- I will see about getting you some titles. Lean on Me is about reasonable demands in relationships by Marion SolomenI have to go look in my closet. I hope you do not feel awkward by my post but I had to do this too. I had to resolve my families' issues to resolve my own, I did it through therapy, regained memory of my childhood, read and did home therapy this way, and then I had two emtional healings that brought me even further along and they were very scary but they are done and I am happy they happened to me so I can be free of the burden of the pain of the abuse- neglect and emotional abandoment is abuse, but my parents are lovely. I was just ignored. Not spoken to. Did not have an opinion, and if I did had no one but the cat to tell it to. My students have had recurring dreams and had to figure out through the happenings in them that something physical happened to them, terrible things and they didn't know who, until it kept getting clearer. It is important to be aware but slowly and so you can handle it. The body knows. You are devoute, pray and ask God to help you to endure your journey into the light to see what is wrong. Also I discovered an abandonment, while the person was still living me with, but had totally disregarded me while in infancy and this tainted me for 40 + yrs. affecting everything I did and decisions I made. I will tell you that the more you search within the more you will discover. Be brave and let things come out. Do not act, just write what is happening and what you are thinking and try to see what answers come out of you. Respond to yourself as well, like when you are talking to someone- write it all down. take a book with you so you can do this. You are on a journey. Be brave and see what answers you find. Ask mom and dad questions about your youth, see picutres from your childhood and search the faces to see their moods, activities, places, expressions, and see what stories you can pull out of them. When you do discover things be happy that it is coming out. Once it is out you will be well. Like vomiting. get it all out and see what made you sick. I promise, you will be well. Have faith, say prayers, reach out, God is there as you have been taught and he will take you by the hand and lead you. Speak to Him if you get afraid. in the name of ***********t, amen.
    founddog 188 Replies Flag this Response
  • founddog, let me start from the beginning: Most kids don't remember much from when they were little. I know of many people who are the same as me in this regards. Why do you think they perform so many surgeries and shots on kids? Because they won't remember it, the brain is still developing. My parents were always happy with each other. My mom's depression is due to HER childhood, not my father. She was abused by her father physically and emtionally, and also emotionally by her brother and an uncle. She was raped by a stranger when she was in her teens. Her father suffered for years with anger issues, mostly due to being in the concentration camps. My mom's brother has agoraphobia. There was also a suicide on my father's side, but other than that everyone is normal. Even though my mom had severe depression she still managed to run a household. She was always a stay at home mom, I was her baby, we were very close and I was also close with my dad. I'm still close with my parents. Photographs were all happy ones. My brother that got involved with drugs was due to bad association with another kid his age, NOT MY FAMILY! I AM open with my parents. They knew that I was going to the doctor and that I was given medication. I was even talking with my mom on the phone one day about medications and she was telling me her experience with them. And you going to sit in your chair and try to tell me that I basically don't know what the ***l I'm talking about and that my family is hiding secrets from me?? You want to know who's hiding secrets?? It's these stupid doctors and people who "think" they know the crap of the world and try to act all pompous that are hiding secrets! Anyone can read a medical book and have knowledge about health! Just because someone has a stupid piece of paper in a frame hanging on their wall doesn't mean a darn thing! And I certainly don't think you know anything at all! You just jumpt o conclusions that I must have been abused because of the way I act? I know of plenty of other people who were BORN with a mental illness and had NO history whatsoever of being abused in any way! Go read a book and educate yourself!!! And I'm sure you're just going to eat all this up because I'm flipping out right now and say some crap that I'm in denial. But you're wrong! I'm angry right now because you're trying to acuse my very loving family of hiding things from me when YOU don't even know me at all! You've never met me, you have no idea what kind of life I had, all you know is the brief paragraph I stated on the previous page.
    imnottarded 10 Replies Flag this Response
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  • I did not mention this in my comment but I was never neglected by anyone. My dad didn't make a lot of money but he still managed to buy things for us and take us places as a family. Everything was always about family growing up. We had family bible studies every week, game nights all the time, there was a lot of laughter and tons of good times. We were never alone, if my dad was working my mom spent the entire day with us because she was a stay at home mother, providing that we weren't at school. Since we didn't celebrate any holidays we would get presents throughout the year at random times that were heartfelt (instead of forceful like most "worldly" people). So how do you get "neglect" and "emotional abuse" out of any of that? I had the most loving parents in the world, and they're still the same way! My brothers were also very loving towards me. Everyone shared their feelings together, we never bottled anything, if something was on our mind we spoke up. I think you just want to compare my situation to what would be considered the obvious answer based on what my symptoms are. And this is EXACTLY why I hate doctors! Because if I walk in there and tell them what I'm feeling, they're going to look me up and down with disgust, tell me how naive I am (like you are implying!) and try and play with my mind by saying that I was abused. Can't someone just have all these feelings and disturbances because they were born that way? Have you never heard of a chemical imbalance?? That's not made up out of lifetime experiences, that's made up out of your genes. Really....I'm not as stupid as you think I am! :mad: And I'm sorry your daddy diddled you, can't say the same for myself!
    imnottarded 10 Replies Flag this Response
  • Oh no, my dad didn't,(but thank you anyway) it was a student I had, the poor dear. I wanted to kill him when I saw her coming out with it, the poor baby. (well she is a teen but you know, a baby all the same.)On the other hand, I am so happy that you have such terrific memories. I am so glad that your dad was so wonderful. Considering how your mom was treated, she did an excellent job finding someone so loving to herself and her children. I am so glad. I hope you realize how rare that is. What a relief things are very good for you. You see, I have seen such horrible situations. And when you mentioned the sadness of your mom and her upbringing, it usually really repeats itself. So, you think it is chemical. Have you ever heard of Brain Images? I have an excellent book called Healing Anxiety and Depression and it is written by Daniel G. Amen, M.D. and Lisa C Routh, M.D.It is very interesting. You see, and you may know this already, but we have around 7 organs in our brain. And they function doing different things and they can be overactive or underactive. (Hyper or Hypo.)Anyway, they go into this and describe everything and they describe how one would be behaving if it were hypo, or hyper, and you can actually diagnose yourself. And then you can even visit their clinic and they take pictures ( images) of your brain and they can show which organs are functioning which way.I never finished it but it is very informative, I teach school so I ran into a hectic schedule and had to put it down. One boy had self diagnosed himself from a similar book that he read about the same thing, and apparently he got it on the nose- about which organ was functioning which way. And he and his mother cried together at the clinic when they saw the pictures because he was only 9 or 10 and he was bent on suicide and they saw that the organ was making him obsess on it and it was not him really wanting to do it. I guess it was a sense of relief to see that something was actually pushing him and he was not really wanting to voluntarily. Anyway, I bet you find it revealing : )I bought it from www.essentialscience.netApparently the site we are on is pretty excellent about referring things and offering sites to people, other sites are not. So I will go so far as to also tell you how I healed myself emotionally, you can give it a shot if you like. You say you are Jehova's Witness? Was it you who said this?Well, if you pray and fast for two meals and ask the Lord to help guide you to some answers you can go to www.youngliving.org/giland go through the essential oils. He can tell you which one to get. This is how I order my aromatherapy oils. I have had two emotional healings and they were amazing and really what happened is this:In the first one I was able to grieve the death of my father. See he commit suicide when I was 14. I had not grieved for all that time. Strange, no?So at 40 something I am grieving. It was horribly painful, like someone was cutting a huge hole out of my abdomen. The pain was physical and very fierce. But God was with me the whole time. He kept saying I would be alright. I was wondering because I was just crying non-stop and I felt like I was going crazy the emotions were so intense. When it was over about an hour later I was much better, but in a horrible state- you know exhausted and in a bad mood because it was so draining. The second time I was in my room and I was taken back to when I was an infant. Anyway I told you about that too. The feelings (old) and the new replacement feelings(new) (I was shocked to see that I had been abandoned by my mom when the whole time I was in my teens people would say I had an abandonment issue and they thought it was my dad cause of what he did but I find it was my mom when I was a baby, see I was raised by the maid in my mom's house) and how it changed me to my core, DNA. I became a new person with new eyes and I had to get to know myself all over again. I had to relive my life and see it with my new eyes. My reactions over the next four years were unpredictable in that I was a different person and didn't know how I would respond to things. It was very interesting to say the least. It was also kind of disorienting. I mean I went from being super self-sacrificing to be kind of a brat and demanding. Weird. I went from one extreme to the other until I came full circle, like a pendulum. The atonement erased the negative experience I had suffer as though it had never happened and I went back to being who I was born to be and I was made whole. So, if that can happen to me while fasting, praying and using an oil to focus and to aromatherapeutically enhance my brain organs, why not you? Pray and ask if there is something you need to buy on that site, or anyhwere. And if He says yes, then ask what.You don't have to know the issue or the solution to cure it. I did it many times for other people, was prompted to buy something, then found out it was for someone else, then when they asked me about it out of the blue, I gave it to them and it cured them. So try it. Or read the book. Whatever you do, keep us posted so we can see you get better. I am going to also put you on the prayer roll of my church and will pray for you when I say my own prayers. ; ) You will kick this one day. Hopefully very soon. Nothing is bigger than God.
    founddog 188 Replies Flag this Response
  • Really....I'm not as stupid as you think I am! :mad: And I'm sorry your daddy diddled you, can't say the same for myself!There are a lot of good people on this board trying to help someone just like you. You have dismissed each who responded to you and make comments such as the one above. You may not be "retarded", but you are certainly rude to those offering help, whether you like their responses or not.If you are unable to open your mind to some of these ideas, then why bother. Keep up with these types of comments and I doubt anyone will try and help. By the way, your nasty attitude doesn't say much for your upbringing or religious teachings.
    Beth56 272 Replies Flag this Response
  • DrCottle I see your point! To all: I had a personal relationship with a woman who presented many of these symptoms over the course of a year. Food for thought to all concerned!Borderline Personality Disorder is one if the most difficult phsychiatric diagnosis to nail down!
    johngibb 2 Replies Flag this Response
  • From everything you mentioned, it may be multiple issues you have. I agree with Beth's comment that you reacted so harshly to Founddog's suggestions, and there's no need to be extremely rude about it. Part of being an adult is having restraint and although you're frustrated, there is no need to use such a negative and immature tone with someone, especially one who you don't know and whose only purpose is to help you. Plus, as Beth indicated it is hypocritical to profess your religion and to act like that. I hope you seek the help of mental health professionals, & even if they can't find what is the matter, then maybe take some time to work through your anger management issues. Clearly, you are overwhelmed, so before you take it out on another innocent person, then try to get help. What is most disturbing is that I wonder if you are being honest with the professionals about your symptons because if you mention torture and suicide, no professional would not take it seriously and diligently work to assist you.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
  • There are a lot of good people on this board trying to help someone just like you. You have dismissed each who responded to you and make comments such as the one above. You may not be "retarded", but you are certainly rude to those offering help, whether you like their responses or not. If you are unable to open your mind to some of these ideas, then why bother. Keep up with these types of comments and I doubt anyone will try and help. By the way, your nasty attitude doesn't say much for your upbringing or religious teachings. If you look at my response to J Cottle I thanked him for it, but I did not agree completely with his second statement, that does not suggest me throwing insults at him, just a differing opinion. The only person I was mad at on this board is the person who accused my family of molesting me and hiding it from me when that is not even the case. Am I supposed to just brush that off when someone says such nasty things about my family? Certainly not. And keep in mind I'm only human, I never said I was God. People are imperfect and can get mad from time to time. If you really knew me as a person you would see that I don't have a nasty attitude at all (unless of course I'm in an angry state because I don't know why I'm feeling that way). The way I reacted on this website is due to me standing up for myself and those I love because someone was telling me false things. Perhaps you should re-read some of the above comments?
    imnottarded 10 Replies Flag this Response
  • to the original poster:Hi, i am very sorry about what you are going thru, it must be difficult to feel left out in the dark most of the time.I noticed your use of specific words in your last post, ie: worldly, bible study, things like that.If you grew up as one of Jehovah's Witnesses, then i am sure that family had an important place in your life.Are you still active?If you would like, you can e-mail me, just to talk. cpw3scott@gmail.com.
    riskyd 35 Replies Flag this Response
  • you're downplaying one key part to all this: your belief system. beliefs create/alter our end feelings from the triggering events. (Albert Ellis' books on Rational Emotive Therapy and such may be worth reading for the basic concepts)i'm not saying you don't have a chemical imbalance, because you probably do to some extent (deifinitely more than average).i'm not saying you don't have seizure-related issues, because you quite possibly do until you rule that out.I'm not saying you don't have clinical depression and similar since i agree completely with everything that JCottleMD wrote. Especially this part: "The use of the therapeutic drugs mentioned should initially be considered for short-term therapy and absolutely combined with professional therapy to determine the underlying nature of circumstances that may be precipitating or aggravating your condition. In many instances, physicians will prescribe medications in the absence of determining the patient's social or environmental circumstances and I'm constrained to point out here that no amount of medication can overcome a traumatic environment or inescapable circumstances." Even if you didn't fully appreciate Cottle's words enough, I sure did. I'm on here tonight looking for answers to why i have numerous health problems (autoimmune, celiac, sugar-instability, bone, depression, severe adrenal fatigue, etc) that doctors cant' figure out and coincidentally clicked on this thread because it sounded interesting. Well, guess what, it's for me too. JCottleMD: you are awesome and obviously well-trained. I too hate doctors as a general rule for the simple reason that they are "practicing" from what they have memorized in endless books. Well, although some of us non-doctors have done the same for ourselves out of necessity at 2am every night (like tonight), it doesn't matter in the end if one's advisor is a "doctor" or not if they are obviously well-versed, experienced, and accurate. Cottle: YOU apparently are, so thank you for your contributions here and no doubt elsewhere. I for one wish I had more drs like you around. i will read and reread your posts here for i AM trapped by numerous inescapable circumstances, and WAS in the past even more so......which brings us back to you "imnottarded". I too am a Jehovah's Witness. Clarification: I'm a recovering ex-JW. the first 25 years of my life were spent fully devoted to that. robbing my childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood of any sense of normality. destroying any possibility of proper development or acceptance. destroying normal interaction with non-JW's in social, business, or other settings. censoring any sort of honest expression of individuality or self-reliance. eliminating romantic dating or sexual development. hindering academic growth of anything beyond a high-school level, if not lower level of comparable challenge (6th grade if you ask me). actually teaching people to be mindless followers of "elders" in the congregation, or some and blood-guilty old white men in NYC who cover up sexual abuse scandals (google "silent lambs"), lie about not being a member of the UN for a decade, and being run by a corporation. teaching us followers that it's actually acceptable to NOT even talk to someone at the drop of a hat, even your own family members no matter how immediate (mother, father, children, brother, sister, etc) if some stupid elders in the congregation "disfellowship" them to "keep the congregation clean." and worst of all: being taught to be ever fearful of the approaching Great Day or Armageddon where all non-JW "goats" would be assuredly destroyed in a vast violent vindication brought by God and only elitist JW "sheep" survive. Any day now. BE ALERT for tomorrow. didn't happen? BE ALERT for the day after then. no? the day after that for sure...for 100 years now.Now don't come back refuting this or that for the sake of JW appearance. I was the real deal, fully sincere and a particularly avid scholar in it (even researching latin and greek at libraries to prepare for meetings.) Every part of this description of JW's is 100% true. Now tell me that that sort of mind-control cult belief system doesn't have at least SOMETHING to do with your problems. I've been trying to regain some sort of sanity for the past 8 years after looking back on everything i was mistaught and wasting my life on frivolousness. after losing my entire belief system. after losing 95% of the people i once knew because they wont' talk to me anymore. and i was never even disfellowshipped. Its destroying me from inside my own mind. plus, i truly hate my parents for raising me in that mess. for the terrible synaptic patterns that are apparently hard-wired in my head every time i hear bad news in the world, or wonder why i just don't fit in with JW's OR non-JW's now. i feel like a war-vet. the few exJW friends i have are almost all fighting to regain their sanity after such a PTSD-invoking control-system of mind-games. our lives are on hold and we can't figure out how to fully recover. plus, i really can't move forward in life because of my terrible health problems, and i can't look back on all the insanity of that life. No, for you there is NO possibility of your ever being considered "normal" while still being a JW. THEY ARE SYSTEMICALLY CRAZY. I'm not saying there aren't many many JW's that aren't good-hearted sincere warm people, because there are. wonderful people who i dearly miss because they won't even talk to me. i'm saying that the corporation running it is corrupt, the belief system is a cult, and THEY ARE SYSTEMICALLY CRAZY. And then people emotionally and chemically challenged, like you and I, easily plug right on in to it all and go bonkers.On top of the medical stuff i wish you would reread and follow-up on here, as well as investigating adrenal fatigue a bit too, please go to meetup.com and look up a exJW group in your area so you can talk to people who have freed themselves from the lies. you'd be surprised how helpful it can be. i'm going to one on saturday.or just disregard me and anything else on here. hopefully other readers of this thread won't. I sure didn't.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
  • As much as you don't want to, you have to see a psychiatrist because they specialize in this area. A regular primary care doctor is not going to have the knowledge to help diagnose or treat you, they know very little when it comes to this, I know from personal experience. If you really need immediate help there are always behavorial health centers that are usually attached to locals hospitals that would see you for evaluation and offer treatment. They will help you find treatment. I also have a psychologist who is very good and helps treat all types of mental illness. I don't know much about schizophrenia, but I know the symptoms include a lot of what you describe. I have been diagnosed with severe treatment resistent depression and generalized anxiety disorder and you have symptoms that do not fit these two. I also have a couple friends with bi-polar disorder but they don't have hallucinations or paranoia. If this is something other than a mental illness, which it could be, I do not have the knowledge to recommend anything other than seeing a psychiatrist, which is a must!
    2liveagain 8 Replies Flag this Response
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