Discussions By Condition: I cannot get a diagnosis.

help-end of my rope

Posted In: I cannot get a diagnosis. 15 Replies
  • Posted By: dakarah
  • April 21, 2008
  • 06:37 PM

My 11 year old son has some serious issues, and I don't know what to do to help him. When he was a baby he did not make eye contact with me for more than a second or two and he did not respond to loud noises, so I had him tested to see if he was deaf. By the time he was a toddler he was angry and agressive. He would bite, kick, etc. We mostly have that behavior stopped except toward his sibblings. He seems to lack empathy and emotion and he has trouble with peer relationships. He only seeks out conversation with me if he wants to tell me about his latest obsession (mortal kombat for over a year now). His teachers describe him as being in his own little world, and my husband always asks me if I dropped him on his head when he was a baby-I didn't! When we go out as a family he always causes a scene and embarasses us-I didn't take him out much when he was little because he would scream and cry in the car, in stores, in unfamiliar situations. He doesn't cry or scream anymore though. Some loud noises make him irate and he rages if he has to stop doing what he is doing, especially if it is unexpected that he would have to stop. He has quirky thing he "has" to do and he has sleep issues. He only eats a few limited food items too. There is much more I could write, but I am afraid I will time out again, so if some has a direction to point me in, I need help to keep my son from being unsuccessful at life! Please, Please, Please help me!!! Thanks

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15 Replies:

  • My 11 year old son has some serious issues, and I don't know what to do to help him. When he was a baby he did not make eye contact with me for more than a second or two and he did not respond to loud noises, so I had him tested to see if he was deaf. By the time he was a toddler he was angry and agressive. He would bite, kick, etc. We mostly have that behavior stopped except toward his sibblings. He seems to lack empathy and emotion and he has trouble with peer relationships. He only seeks out conversation with me if he wants to tell me about his latest obsession (mortal kombat for over a year now). His teachers describe him as being in his own little world, and my husband always asks me if I dropped him on his head when he was a baby-I didn't! When we go out as a family he always causes a scene and embarasses us-I didn't take him out much when he was little because he would scream and cry in the car, in stores, in unfamiliar situations. He doesn't cry or scream anymore though. Some loud noises make him irate and he rages if he has to stop doing what he is doing, especially if it is unexpected that he would have to stop. He has quirky thing he "has" to do and he has sleep issues. He only eats a few limited food items too. There is much more I could write, but I am afraid I will time out again, so if some has a direction to point me in, I need help to keep my son from being unsuccessful at life! Please, Please, Please help me!!! Thanks Was your son tested for autism as a child? Has he been screened for ADD/ADHD? Does he have any twitches or does he say things outloud like nonsense words or stuttering? Has anyone mentioned Tourettes? I would suggest trying a holistic therapist to help your son. Try one of the following - Cranial Sacral Therapy, NAET, Homeopathy, Naturopathy, acupuncture... any of these therapies would be helpful. Your son needs help! What foods DOES he eat? What does he drink? Is he taking any meds or supplements? What are his stools like? How is his digestion? What was your pregnancy like and how was your labor? Best wishesDOM
    acuann 3080 Replies Flag this Response
  • Almost sounds like autism symptoms. Autism has been linked to toxic metal exposure, environmental toxins and nutrient issues. Perhaps seeing an Alternative minded doctor and doing some research on autism might give you the answers you are looking for.
    LINENUP 122 Replies Flag this Response
  • Hello,I'm the special education teacher on the site. You son sounds like he should have been evaluated years ago for autism spectrum disorder. You will need to have an evaluation by a medical doctor. Your school needs to do a comprehensive psychological evaluation on him. Also ask for an occupational evaluation and speech (because he is not being appropriate when he talks). For your future reference, your kids qualify for free services through your local school district from birth to age 22. There may also be a hearing disorder and it was only screened and not evaluated via a dopler ultrasound. I would have his hearing checked (check the school's prior test results and see if there was an issue)..they will need to do a screening before the psych eval. If he ever failed he needed re-screening and then a referral to an audiologist. Sign the papers tomorrow to get the ball in motion; you've waited too long and so has the school. They have sixty days to complete it all after you sign the papers. The school should have him on a behavior plan (if there are issues there) and they should work with you for follow through at home. When you get to the IEP part in 60 days, have them write in "parent & staff training" so you learn behavior modification techniques. So does Dad ever have a "boy's day out" with his son? Watch Super Nanny for tips.
    Monsterlove 2921 Replies Flag this Response
  • Im thinking the same as the others here.. sounds like some form of autism.
    taniaaust1 2267 Replies Flag this Response
  • Thanks everyone for responding. It is strange, but until a couple of months ago the word autism just brought up images of rainman and other than that I didn't even know what it was. No teacher he has ever had has even hinted that he might have this problem even though they always thought he was unusual. For the most part school has been very reluctant to help in the least. I recommended special ed. testing for both of my children beginning in kindergarten and received about every excuse you could imagine for not testing either one. Mental illness was heavy in my ex-husband's distant family. I was told one year that their teachers were just bad and they would do better the next year. Another year I was told they were just both immature for their age and would grow out of their problems. I have even been told that my oldest son is just being defiant when he is so much a pleaser it isn't funny. He is never really defiant on anything because he is so busy trying to please everybody. Finally when my oldest son was in 5th grade and my youngest in 3rd, a special ed teacher told me that I had to request testing in writing so I did. They did some kind of academic IQ test and told me they both tested to high for special ed. When my oldest son began 6th grade I took him to be tested for everything and we discovered he had numerous medical problem along with severe adhd (inattentive type). Since then the school basically kicked him out to an alternative school where all of the students either have adhd or they are rejects from another school in the district. Seems like they teachers don't like modifications, so they just put the adhd kids out with the bad kids. It has been a real adjustment for him because he has never been in trouble at school for anything and now he is with the kids who are always in trouble, but some good has come out of it because the alternative teachers have really helped him with focusing techniques and organization tips and for the first time he is making A's, B's, and C's. (In kindergarten even he made all F's and they only passed him based on his knowledge not on his grades) My younger son-the one who may be autistic to some degree is also diagnosed with adhd and depresssion, but I read that those diagnosis often go with autism. As for the school helping him, what a joke!!! In his 504 meeting all of his teachers assured me he didn't need any modifications, he just wasn't trying. They had known him for a grand total of 2 weeks before they came to these conclusions about him, and if he needed no modification, then why is he presently failing? As for testing for autism, he never has been, nor for tourettes. He doesn't stutter or use nonsense words, but he does sing answers to questions quite often and he uses a sing song voice to talk a lot. He only eats chicken, pizza, grilled cheese, mac and cheese, bananas, apples, jello, pudding, yogurt, ice cream, fish, bacon, sausage, hot dog wieners, biscuits,certain candy, and french fries. No vegetables, no beef, not even cake or most breads. We can litterally go to a picnic where there are 100 food items and he won't eat any thing there. He will go hungry before he will eat items he doesn't like. As for drinking, he only drinks water and light colored pop. No kool-aid, no milk-not even in cereal, no juice, no dark pop, no tea, etc...No meds, seems to have good digestion. Dad's day out-he used to spend every other weekend doing things with his father, but his dad died almost a year ago-strange matter of fact reaction to that too, even though he declares that his father was the only person he loved. Blaze and Linenup-we live in an extremely rural area where many people don't have satellite or internet other than dial up. School is near power lines but not home. Thanks again everyone who suggested something. Please re-post if you have any more info for me. Thanks!!!!!!
    dakarah 4 Replies Flag this Response
  • Asperger's syndrome is another possibility. People can be extraordinarily intelligent and have this. I know of doctors who have it. Try here:http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/tc/aspergers-syndrome-symptoms
    aquila 1263 Replies Flag this Response
  • Aquila, thanks for the link, I found it very helpful. If you have any other info for me please re-post. Thanks!
    dakarah 4 Replies Flag this Response
  • Call your state department of education and get a parent advocate; you need it with this school. The one should have been tested in kindergarten when he got all Fs. It's a violation of federal law to bus a kid to a separate school for services. They have to provide the service in the child's least restrictive environment. The speech services would be for talking in an appropriate way and responding by looking at people and not in a singing voice--that's why he might qualify for speech. The medical doctor needs to come in with a diagnosis for the one, whether he is autistic or not, and you ask for OT and speech evaluation, along with a comprehensive psychological. Put it in writing. They have 60 days once you sign the papers to complete everything. Go in with your state parent advocate; she will know how to advocate for services for both kids. Don't agree to any lack of services or services at another school without the advocate there. I would let the one finish at the other school, but let them know they will be providing modifications and accommodations at your local school from now on. You need to stay on top of this and not accept any guff from that district. They need to bring the specialists in to work up a behavior plan for the adhd child. There are resources they are not tapping into or may not know about; your advocate might just educate them.
    Monsterlove 2921 Replies Flag this Response
  • Thanks everyone for responding. It is strange, but until a couple of months ago the word autism just brought up images of rainman and other than that I didn't even know what it was. No teacher he has ever had has even hinted that he might have this problem even though they always thought he was unusual. For the most part school has been very reluctant to help in the least. I recommended special ed. testing for both of my children beginning in kindergarten and received about every excuse you could imagine for not testing either one. Mental illness was heavy in my ex-husband's distant family. I was told one year that their teachers were just bad and they would do better the next year. Another year I was told they were just both immature for their age and would grow out of their problems. I have even been told that my oldest son is just being defiant when he is so much a pleaser it isn't funny. He is never really defiant on anything because he is so busy trying to please everybody. Finally when my oldest son was in 5th grade and my youngest in 3rd, a special ed teacher told me that I had to request testing in writing so I did. They did some kind of academic IQ test and told me they both tested to high for special ed. When my oldest son began 6th grade I took him to be tested for everything and we discovered he had numerous medical problem along with severe adhd (inattentive type). Since then the school basically kicked him out to an alternative school where all of the students either have adhd or they are rejects from another school in the district. Seems like they teachers don't like modifications, so they just put the adhd kids out with the bad kids. It has been a real adjustment for him because he has never been in trouble at school for anything and now he is with the kids who are always in trouble, but some good has come out of it because the alternative teachers have really helped him with focusing techniques and organization tips and for the first time he is making A's, B's, and C's. (In kindergarten even he made all F's and they only passed him based on his knowledge not on his grades) My younger son-the one who may be autistic to some degree is also diagnosed with adhd and depresssion, but I read that those diagnosis often go with autism. As for the school helping him, what a joke!!! In his 504 meeting all of his teachers assured me he didn't need any modifications, he just wasn't trying. They had known him for a grand total of 2 weeks before they came to these conclusions about him, and if he needed no modification, then why is he presently failing? As for testing for autism, he never has been, nor for tourettes. He doesn't stutter or use nonsense words, but he does sing answers to questions quite often and he uses a sing song voice to talk a lot. He only eats chicken, pizza, grilled cheese, mac and cheese, bananas, apples, jello, pudding, yogurt, ice cream, fish, bacon, sausage, hot dog wieners, biscuits,certain candy, and french fries. No vegetables, no beef, not even cake or most breads. We can litterally go to a picnic where there are 100 food items and he won't eat any thing there. He will go hungry before he will eat items he doesn't like. As for drinking, he only drinks water and light colored pop. No kool-aid, no milk-not even in cereal, no juice, no dark pop, no tea, etc...No meds, seems to have good digestion. Dad's day out-he used to spend every other weekend doing things with his father, but his dad died almost a year ago-strange matter of fact reaction to that too, even though he declares that his father was the only person he loved. Blaze and Linenup-we live in an extremely rural area where many people don't have satellite or internet other than dial up. School is near power lines but not home. Thanks again everyone who suggested something. Please re-post if you have any more info for me. Thanks!!!!!! Your son has nutritional deficiencies and NEEDS to be on supplements asap!!! He is getting NO nutrients from his diet! Please get him on a children's essential Fatty Acid supplement, as well as a good nutritional multivitamin. You can find excellent quality supplements online at www.vitacost.com - this is the best I've found as their prices are 30-70% off retail and offer a flat $4.95 shipping fee. The children's chewables nowaday are very tasty. You need to do this asap. Nutritional deficiencies are a major factor in ADD/ADHD - especially EFA's. Also please look into Bach Flower Remedies - they may be very helpful. You can research this online and see which formulas fit his description. Best wishesDOM
    acuann 3080 Replies Flag this Response
  • I noticed that you said in your original post that your husband always asks you if you dropped him on his head as a baby but in your subsequent post, you mentioned that he used to have a day out with dad before his dad died about a year ago. Have you remarried and if so, would your current husband consider taking him out for a "guys day out." If he has autism, that certainly won't solve the problem but since you don't know what the problem is at this point, it probably wouldn't hurt. Since he was obsessed with a combat game, paintballing might be a way to get some of his aggression out. Good luck with the testing!
    hazelfiver 5 Replies Flag this Response
  • He only eats chicken, pizza, grilled cheese, mac and cheese, bananas, apples, jello, pudding, yogurt, ice cream, fish, bacon, sausage, hot dog wieners, biscuits,certain candy, and french fries. No vegetables, no beef, not even cake or most breads. We can litterally go to a picnic where there are 100 food items and he won't eat any thing there. He will go hungry before he will eat items he doesn't like. As for drinking, he only drinks water and light colored pop. No kool-aid, no milk-not even in cereal, no juice, no dark pop, no tea, etc...No meds, seems to have good digestion.! That food issue needs to be addressed and ASAP. Nutritional deficiencies can cause all kinds of problems from learning issues to behavioural issues to other health issues which could end up affecting for life. You need to go and see a nutritionist or dietitian about the lack of eatting veg and fruits. There is much which can be done to make sure he's getting better nutrition eg hiding some veg in pizzas.. eg blend cooked pumpkin or brocolli etc with the tomato pizza sauce.. or hide grated carrot in homemade pork patties etc etc (not eatting beef thou wouldnt be an issue, im concerned over the rest of it). Many children dont like veg and you need to get ideas on how to hide the stuff he needs be eatting.. in what he does eat (a good nutritionist or dietitian should be able to give you ideas). milk is in yogurt, pudding and icecream..so you dont need to worry about that.
    taniaaust1 2267 Replies Flag this Response
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  • Please visit www.1stholistic.com and take a look at their nutritional deficiencies checklist - it lists common symptoms associated with major deficiencies of calcium, iron, EFA's, B vitamins and others. This is so very important - please don't overlook this! Children need nutrients to grow, and if they aren't getting them with food, they need supplementation... I agree with Tania's post and there is a book I once got from the library on how to sneak veggies and fruits into all kinds of foods. I make a chili and spaghetti sauce with lots of grated vegies. You can use baby food and mix into sauces and such. This will take practice and perseverance on your part. You CAN make a difference and if you set the example you may find your child will start to eat a bit better. Don't keep these items in your house: candy, cookies, chips, processed foods, sodas (even "clear" ones), hot dogs. Just don't keep them around and offer better choices for your family. High Fructose corn syrup is deadly, avoid it at all costs. Best wishesDOM
    acuann 3080 Replies Flag this Response
  • Thanks so much to everyone who posted their thoughts. I just got my son's report from the doctor yesterday, and he has aspergers. At least now maybe I can help him learn to function better with it. Thanks again for all of the good advice and the help! Dakarah
    dakarah 4 Replies Flag this Response
  • Good to hear that you finally have a diagnoses. (the nutritional stuff thou could still be making the issue even worst).
    taniaaust1 2267 Replies Flag this Response
  • taniaaust1-thanks for the post. I would love to be able to get him to eat more nutritionally, just so far haven't been very successful. He will get physically sick if I force him to eat foods he doesn't like. He has issues with textures of foods in particular. It is not uncommon to have a meal with 20+ food choices, and there be nothing there that he will eat. And if he doesn't have any items he likes, he will not eat anything rather than try something new. He is a very difficult eater. It is rare that he eats anything at school all day long. (I stopped packing his lunch this year and told him he had to eat at school), now he just doesn't eat most of the time. Up until this year I did pack his lunch everyday, and he had to have a specific combination of foods every day-no substitutions-and if I forgot one of his food items, he freaked out. Needless to say, I didn't forget anything often. Thanks again for the advice, and I will keep trying to get him to eat things that are more nutritional. Dakarah
    dakarah 4 Replies Flag this Response
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