Discussions By Condition: I cannot get a diagnosis.

HELP! Chronic Insomnia... Anxiety? Just Stress?

Posted In: I cannot get a diagnosis. 3 Replies
  • Posted By: Anonymous
  • November 5, 2007
  • 09:10 PM

Hello-

I am in desperate need of some help. For the last 2 years I have suffered from insomnia but now it has gotten extreme. I will go days with ZERO sleep. I am a working Mom & Wife. This is effecting my life in big ways. I am scared that I am going to lose my job and it would be obvious that I am not funtioning the way I should for my husband or 2.5 daughter. I have tried:
-sleep music therapy
-sleep hygene
-deep breathing
-reading before bed
-Herbal tea
-Hot milk
-noise machine
-sleep mask
-Ambian CR
-Prescript form of Benydryl

Me: 34 years old old. Just had a test for life Insurance all test came back 100% healthy. I love life. I have a great husband, daughter, friends family. I really like my job. I consider myself outgoing and reasonably attractive. I try to eat well, don't smoke, drink occassionally (2-3 drinks a week), no drugs, not overweight, take vitamins.

Life: My MIL was diagnosed 2 years ago with stage 3 ovarian cancer. She is now near the end of her life which has caused a great deal of stress especially with the holidays & wedding approaching. The family is in denial and they are a family that doesn't talk. My SIL decided 6 months ago to plan a destination wedding in Mexico and has been told her Mother may not make it. The wedding was initally set in Mexico and has not been rescheduled due to deep denial. my husband fortunately is not in denial. He is trying to connect with his siblings but is feeling rejected.

Response: I think about this constantly! Every minute I am worried about her, is she in pain, how long will she live, are we going to get a call that she passed, the family, my husband, our future, my FIL, me getting cancer, me dying, my husband or daughter getting cancer, how are we going to deal with the future, anyone I know getting cancer, would I go through chemo, when will I die, how will I die, will I be here for my daugher. I do know that life is a gift and that it can be taken away quickly. I do try to think positive. At night my brain is in constant motion. It is a machine that I feel is out of my control. My brain will not shut off unless I am so exhausted that I have to crawl to bed.

How can I support my family and not completely crumble without sleep? On days that I do sleep I feel I can handle life, although the thoughts are persistant. When I have no sleep I feel non-functioning. I do not work on these days (which are more frequent and will catch-up with me). I surf the net constantly to find a cure (like today). I am very fearful of the future and what we are facing. My husband and I want to get pregnant. I am very scared of getting pregnant specifically due to the insomnia. But being 34.5 very scared of not getting pregnant. I also feel that being pregnant may be good for the family. A gift of life.

Daily I feel overwhelmed and scared about facing the future. On the other I know that my life is good and I am blessed. How do I deal with this???

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3 Replies:

  • No worries. This is *normal.* Mortality usually sinks in around your mid-thirties. I remember experiencing something similar after watching a series about the Titanic, of all things. All those young people suddenly extinguished! Elizabeth Kubler-Ross wrote about this phenomenon as well, and although some of her theories have recently been challenged, I think she's still worth reading. Her book "On Death & Dying" helped me to know that I wasn't alone in going through this scary time. Maybe it willl help you get through it too. And you *will* get through it. You get used to the idea of impermanence. It makes life sweeter, a litttle sadder, but richer by far.
    aquila 1263 Replies
    • November 9, 2007
    • 02:24 PM
    • 0
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  • Hello, i was browsing some thing else and end up here ,i m not registered user introduction: i m a medical resident (doctor! working in hospital ),in endocrinology.I may or may not b of your help...!! let see.one thing is for sure ,you are disturb in your head and that is affecting your life ,what is disturbing you is quite obvious, so i think we all know were did the nail ****k you.Now the important desicion that you have to make by your self is ,either you let go of things that is happening to her and what cancer is doing with her, or will you let YOUR THINKING ,AND imagination ruin what you have .you may seem,thinking your self as sensitive person and caring but think of those who are dependent upon your acitivities(yr daughter2.5 and husband).you may deny what are your responsibilites and keep thinking and affecting your life as it is ,or you can shut off ,all of them and realize that we all are dying ,some people going earlier ,some sooner and few in old age ....and ther eis nothing wrong in dying ,i mean if God has made it so painful then why we all have to go through it ,including ****s.this proves that it is a routine thing like delivery ,or going into labor.i m male and it scares the ***l out of me ,seeing women in labor ,what confuses me (alwaz) if it hurts soo much ,then why any women would want to get pregnant again.you answer this and you'll answer the query that ,"if cancer is so painful then why god has given it to so many people.?if it is a curse then why it not given to G.Bush.? regards omair sfumair@gmail.com
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • November 9, 2007
    • 04:29 PM
    • 0
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  • Is there some reason you haven't gone for a sleep study with a consultation with a sleep specialist afterwards? You might have sleep apnea, very light sleep, no deep sleep etc. The sleep docs are very sympathetic and attuned to the needs of people who can't sleep. I assume you don't drink caffeine at least 8 hours before sleep. Also acupuncture, homeopathic meds etc. can provide relief. Have you tried self-hypnosis? Perhaps a few sessions with a psychologist can help you with your fears of cancer. Or join a support group. I hope you have some influence with you MIL's care-givers. Many dying persons have no one to talk to about dying and what's going to happen afterward. A false pollyanna attitude is very disturbing to them. Call a family conference if necessary. Call or go see your MIL and let her vent. It might be easier for her since you are not a blood relative. Show the others that true compassion includes listening to the dying, and that denial of her dying thoughts, memories and wishes is very selfish and childish to their mom. Watch the movie "One True Thing". To omair: good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people. Disease is not religious punishment, any more than bad weather is. Nature and man's meddling is responsible for the state of the world and your God is responsible for the state of your mind. According to whichever religion you belong to, God is either loving, vengeful, retribution heavy, chauvinistic in the sense that my religion is better than yours, remorseful or penitent. And you belong to that religion because you were born to it, or it suits your needs. "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you" seems to suit my needs. But I can't imagine a doctor wishing or wondering why someone else wouldn't get cancer.(GWB) It's o.k. to want to remove someone from power, but not by disease! I think you need to take a few ethics classes and re-think your aptitude for healing if this is your opinion. p.s. Whenever I've had a bad thought, tell a lie or utter an unkind opinion , I've learned that it will usually come back to bite me on the bottom! What goes round, comes round.
    rad-skw 1605 Replies
    • November 10, 2007
    • 11:36 AM
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