It was about six months ago when I used to be that kinda bright guy at school, bright guy that enjoyed life to pretty much every little extent and even if I was being negative, I had never ever ever experienced any type of depression of my life, im a 17 year old boy, and about 6 months ago, I got peered into doing weed, I did it my first time and tripped out a little bit, and did it another 4 times, and on the last time I did it, my mate gave me alot.
I don't know how to put it, but ever since then I've had some ****in wack **** happen to me, I couldn't put it on my finger, the day after I was in tears all night, then I moved into a new house, and I was on the phone to my girlfriend one night, and I just started feeling really funny, really really weird, and I just stopped and went "sorry i've got to go" I quickly walked into my brothers room shaking crying confused, and I just spilled alot of emotional crap too him. ever since then I've been at the doctors, at psychiatry, counselling, **** like that, now im getting to the point... I don't know what to do, I've had several girlfriends since and none worked out, I want a girlfriend, but I want that great feeling back that you get when you meet a girl, now I don't get that, I feel like my feelings have been numbed :confused:... having said that, even sex, I don't enjoy, I've been having sexual problems, now I even have twisted dreams, sometimes I think about suicide, running away from home... I need help and im really confused, im currently going out with this girl but she likes me sooo much, but it's like I have to force my self to like her in a way? I like her... but... yeah... it's deffinitly not the same. Also my memory has going pretty blurred too, it's pretty poor :(. My brothers keep saying they went through the same thing and that I'll get better, but it's so hard to believe them when they look so very happy... I've just about diagnosed my self with everything now, I dont know whats wrong. at first I thought I was schizophrenic, then I thought I was bipolic, now I think I have some sort of Psychopath mental problem...
:confused: :( please help...
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