Discussions By Condition: I cannot get a diagnosis.

Hard Time Coping

Posted In: I cannot get a diagnosis. 3 Replies
  • Posted By: Anonymous
  • June 25, 2007
  • 02:30 PM

I had sex at a young age because my two older sisters didnt want to be the only ones who had sex. By the age 13 I had sex for my first time and did not enjoy it. From there I was experimenting with a few other guys throughout my years but not many because I had an attraction for the same sex. In high school I finally met a guy I fell in love with, when before love was just said to be for the movies. Me and him dated on and off for 2 years and I had to break it off because he was a compulsive lyer. From high school on I had a hard time trusting in people. I accuse people of cheating all the time when they arent. When they lie once, I think they are lying all the time. I get mood swings on and off where it will end up in me breaking up with them and then appologizing for my actions and asking for forgiveness. I know when I have PMS because my mood swings are worse where my anger builds up and I have out burst. But after PMS I still cant control my anger but I know Im in the wrong but most of the time I make it feel as if it's their fault.

I cant keep a steady relationship because I feel like jackel and hyde. I believe my sister has Bi polar but Im far from that. As I read with personality disorder I see myself connecting with those systems. I get jealous when other people look at the person Im with. Im too controling Im told. I will try to change what they wear to advoid conflict for when we go out. If I dont get my way, the whole night is ruined by my attitude. I would like to have a steady relationship where I dont think that they are going to cheat on me or leave me for someone else. I want to have trust in them and not get angry because they are talking to someone when in my head they are trying to get with them, when they arent.

I dont know what to do because I dont want to talk to anyone face to face. Im starting to be anti social. I dont want to make new friends and the people I work with I dont feel I have to be their friend it should be work related. I like going out to clubs and bars thats not a problem. I dont drink much unless its on weekends, I dont use drugs. Whats my problem....

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3 Replies:

  • You're looking for men in wrong places and comparing yourself to other people. Stop it. Change your daily habits. Take a class, go to coffee shops instead of bars. Go where there are more positive people. I think it's just a lack of belief in yourself. You have the rest of your life to meet the right person, so there's no rush. Try meditating or some type of self help nurturing class to help you accept that people are not owned by you and try to develop into a more self confident woman, so you can allow people freedom to have contact with others without becoming jealous. It's a change in your thoughts. I have confidence that you will begin to make better choices for yourself so you can grow into a beautiful person who respects all of humanity and in doing so, you will be able to honor yourself.
    Monsterlove 2921 Replies Flag this Response
  • I think that you have to change your perspective on things. I had a compulsive lyer boyfriend when I was your age ... but you have to move beyond controlling other people. Just accept in your life what you think you deserve. I feel that if someone doesn't want to be with you and only you, they are not worthy of you. I keep it simple ... if someone doesn't want to be with me ... why would I waste time trying to be with someone who felt that way. Honestly, you can't control other people's feelings/actions ... be the best person you can be and the rest will follow. It will anyways ...Best of luck.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
  • If all the above fails, then it is time to seek help with a professional. Anger management classes should be on the agenda. Anger can escalate into spousal/child abuse. (Your sisters should also be charged with child endangerment). Rage and jealousy are emotions which are so negative, that it can poison the people around you. If your self-respect is confident and uplifting, then you can conquer these low emotions. Read self-help books, develop hobbies, volunteer, and use up those negative energies on good deeds, thoughts and actions. IF you feel your rage is uncontrollable, see a shrink or regular doc and get a prescription for a mood stabilizer. Look up remedies for PMS and try some. p.s. In your life-time you will meet MANY liars, cheats and swindlers of time and affection. Surround yourself with NICE people. It will lessen the chances that you will hook up with a creep.
    rad-skw 1605 Replies Flag this Response
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