Discussions By Condition: I cannot get a diagnosis.

going crazy

Posted In: I cannot get a diagnosis. 1 Replies
  • Posted By: Anonymous
  • November 27, 2007
  • 04:58 PM

Please tell me if I have hope . I am 37 unmarried female diagnosed as dependant on mother. I am on anti-depressants. i do not see any treatments available.
I feel to scared to live without my mother.
Please tell me I am not crazy.

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  • Well, I'm not going to be able to tell you much about yourself, but I can relate to feeling like you're going crazy. I'm male and only 21, so you can ignore this if you want, but I've got a severe panic/anxiety disorder. When I say severe I hope you know that I don't kid. I've got insomnia, eating disorders, migraines, atrophy.. Sometimes I can't leave my house because I'm convinced that my headache is actually a stroke. My heart beat is irregular and strange I'm going to have a heart attack. My stomach hurts, I've got an ulcer. Rectal bleeding, I must have a tumour. All of this on a daily basis.. I'm so scared of everything it makes it hard to just get through a day without breaking down and crying. Being so fearful of imminent death around every corner has me so stressed out I feel weak.. I get dizzy and don't know what to do with myself. I've been dealing with this for 4 years now, and it has never really slowed down. I went to a social worker some years ago who tried to help me. Prescribed me some anti-psychotics and some tranqs for when it got too bad.. But the anti's just made it worse. I weened myself off of them and felt a little better.. After that I stopped going to the emergency room when everything got bad and started battling it mentally. Working my way through it as best I could. It was like trying to swim in sand. Yet I never gave up. Never stopped struggling. Still to this day I fight it off constantly. It's so taxing. Makes me wanna just lie down and never get up...What I've learned in my struggles, is that I had to replace the doctors and my mother or father with a good friend. Sometimes just calling someone and talking about a whole bunch of nothing just made me more at ease. Other times I'd take the frustration or sadness and write some poetry or lyrics. That way I could read over it again to understand myself better. I don't know if any of this can help you at all, I just know that I'm terrified to not have my mother there for me. But I do know that my mother would want me to be strong. She would want me to stand fast and fight for my independance. To never back down and strive on. Remember that your mother is part of you, and will always live on with you. She's that voice in the back of your head reminding you to tie your shoes properly, or to fold the clothes in the dryer before they wrinkle. I think you have all the hope you could ever need, because if your mom meant that much to you, she must be an absolutely fantastic woman. So you should yourself, try to live up to that image however you can. Knowing that it could only make her proud.
    Panicboy 2 Replies
    • December 3, 2007
    • 09:17 PM
    • 0
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