Discussions By Condition: I cannot get a diagnosis.

End of the line...?

Posted In: I cannot get a diagnosis. 0 Replies
  • Posted By: Anonymous
  • January 3, 2011
  • 05:07 PM


My struggle has been lasting for 4,5 years now. On 03-08-06 at the end of my holiday I was waiting in line for checkin and I got really ill. I was shacking like a freak, incredibly pail looking, there was a huge presure in my stomach and belly, i felt i needed to puke but couldn't, I felt like fainting and had to sit down. I took the flight home, went to bed, and tried to go to work 2 days later, which went really wrong. I had the same attack as before, got really short of breath and panicked. Now I know that the panic attacks came from the medication i got to get me calm. I took one from my mom before the flight since I dont really like flying. They call it a paradox-effect. I think that day, and that medication was only a trigger. Since I have been struggling, I have seen so many doctors, specialists, tests, hospitals...mostly they say things like "It appears you are in constant shock, but are not" "can I get a co-worker to see you? since I have never seen this before" "bizarre!" "weird!" in the end it always results in them saying it is tension, which I am 100% sure it isnt. Since I am really violently shaking all the time, i can feel tension, since the more tense i am, the more pain i will get. But 4,5 years of fighting for recognition, and shaking all the time is taking its toll, I can do less and less, and the past months I have been having horrible pain in all my joints, I am stubborn and dont try to let my boddy hinder me, so I keep walking and doing things, but my circle is getting smaller and smaller, more pain, and so I can do less and less. My life slowely becomes a ***l, in which time seems to progress so slowely and pain is always present. When i put pressure on my knee and put my hand on my knee i can feel 2 bones scraping over eachother. Which could explain the horrible pain. My own doctor, which is my 2nd, also gave up on me. I even went to a new thing in hospital for unknown diseases, with shrinks etc. They can not find a psychological cause neither a physical one, and I feel screwed. It feels like they gave up on me, and do not really want to search. Obviously it is something not common, yet they only seem to try to find for logical causes. Because of the shaking all the time I lost weight, I loose all energy, but the past months I loose more energy then I have, which makes me feel horrible. I really dont know anymore what to do....I have been to: Shrinks, psychologist, neuro-pshycological research, acupuncturist, neurlogist (10 times), internist (internal-doctor), all kinds of home doctors and alternative people, been admitted to hospital in the beginning for 1,5 week for observation because I was so bad, I have had tubes in me, uroligst, Mri, countless bloodtests, I worked with horses for as far as my health allowed me in the hope I would find something but never did, I have done a QXCI test, and I am probalby forgetting halve of it. I can not tollerate alcohol, it makes me really sick, which i already am, so I dont drink. I tried all kinds of medication to calm me down, but nothing works the shaking or tremors never change, even when I am sitting in the sun and have that warm feeling that everything will be ok, I shake like crazy. I meditate alot and avoid all kinds of stress and tension, I never have a phone on me, neither a watch. I used to be someone who was hyperactive, always doing things, now sometimes it feels like im the opposite. I gave up my physical freedom, for spiritual freedom, and have been writing poetry which really touches people, which in a really weird way, makes being sick worth it....

During the past 4,5 years I learned a lot about myself, found out many things, but not the one thing I want. To know what I am fighting against, I want to win this fight, not loose against something I have never seen.

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