Hello my name is Lily, I need a diagnosis.
I am 19 years old, just settling from a case of depression. Initially thought the depression was an isolated case. Now see it may be related to something else. Started community college only to discover I'm very different from my peers. No hobbies, interests, etc. Depression came on like this... with the addition of stress and bad eating tendencies. Depression worsened when I realized I don't know anything. Anything, like I hardly "think", any thinking done is relative to what I am doing at the time. When I have a conversation with someone, it is based on "theatrics". I will use 2 or 3 words, usually echoing what they are saying because I can't understand them, I can't think about what they are saying. I have no theory of mind. I am in an elated mood but there is nothing on my mind a majority of the time, if so it is anxiety related. This sounds ridiculous but I have always felt I lived in my own world and cannot imagine living in someone else's shoes.. thinking I may be autistic as when I was younger I had no friends, still have none yet prefer to be this way... I was thinking it may be a personality disorder (schizoid, anti social, etc.) but a personality disorder wouldn't effect one's ability to be able to think & have information in one's head, would it? The severity of my "non" thinking abilities: I can't recall anything I have learned in the past 19 years of education... I marvel at how I have the ability to write this... HELP, a diagnosis would be wonderful. ("thinking" maybe multiple in this case) I feel like a 3 year old stuck in a 19 year old body... the only thing is, I don't think I will ever mature. "change" I feel as though I am stuck this way and will be forever....
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