I feel so utterly lousy, I'm crying as I type this. And I rarely cry. I'm a pretty easygoing, cheerful person. My doctor says my symptoms are "all over the place"
I'm a former smoker, 57 year old female, always very thin, suddenly went from 108 lbs to 146 lbs. Doctor says a lot of the weight is not fat -- Something is going on in my abdomen.
No history of any cancer in my very large family.
Symptoms are: sharply increased blood pressure. All my life was so low, health care professionals would routinely take it twice thinking the first reading was wrong. Now it's suddenly jumped from 80 or 90 over something to 169 over something.
sensation of squeezing on lungs
occasional dry cough
bloated abdomen (no pain, but very bloated)
Intermittent heartburn (several times a day. Normally, I feel heartburn once every 3 or 4 years at the most.)
Appetite good, but feel full after a couple of bites
Feel like my "innards" are crowded
Overwhelming and increasing sense of impending doom
Dr. ordered blood tests, urine test, chest x-ray, 3-day occult test for blood in stool, and three CT scans - chest, abdomen and pelvis.
Blood and urine tests were done 3/3/07 and Nurse called 3/6/07 to say they look "okay." Chest x-ray shows a nodule in lower right lung, about 3/4" x 1/2". Doctor wants to see me 3/21/07 to discuss the x-ray, but nurse says it may be nothing to worry about and he probably wants to do some more views on it first. Scheduling the appt two weeks away seems like an awfully long time. I feel like I'm getting worse by the day.
The CT scans were cancelled when the insurance company said I have to come up with $5000. It may as well be $50 million for all the chance I have of getting my hands on it any time soon.
I know this cloud of depression, this overwhelming sense that I'm dying, is a symptom of illness, not some inner wisdom regarding my condition. But I can't shake it. Now, with no possibility of having the CT scans and no other tests scheduled, I feel like I just have to live with it - or die with it - never knowing what is wrong with me.
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