Like many on this forum, I have been living in agony for years without an answer. I find myself wishing for death and cursing life, unable to cope in this horrible existence. I don't want to feel that way. I met this man I want to marry and have a family with, but it's all I can do to just get through a day.
My symptoms started years ago, but what came first and how long ago has become a blur. My main complaint for a long time was vertigo. But I'll make a list. These are everyday, all day long
Vertigo and dizziness, but not a body spin, more like my actual brain is spinning
Trouble breathing, like there is a hand around my lower esophagus
Spasms in my esophagus and into my chest
Heart palpitations, heavy thumping. I am constantly aware of (and now terrified of) my heavy heartbeat
Severe joint and muscle pain, mostly in my chest, upper back, and arms (I do not believe it is Fibromyalgia)
Severe physical anxiety (as opposed to thought stimulated anxiety) like my adrenal gland is on the fritz
Trouble with my vision, such as trying to, or not being able to focus and feeling like my eyes are going to pop out of my head, also hallucinating what looks like fog or a cloud rolling past me
Hot and cold sweats
skin crawling or tingling
I've had many awful sensations, such as feeling like my brain is vibrating, or what feels like an earthquake rumble across the right portion of my brain. I also constantly get this sensation that begins in my upper chest/lower esophagus that resonates up my neck and into my head that triggers the vertigo and what I call a brain quake. It's terrifying. This woke me up from sleep for the first time, which used to be my only escape. I went to the ER yesterday. Again. For like the sixth time in the past couple of years. After a CT scan, blood work that involved 4 tubes, a urinalysis, and an EKG ( the fifth in my life) of course, they told me I was fine.
I have seen dozens of doctors and specialists (I can't even remember them all), including several general practitioners, a physical therapist (to rule out positional vertigo), 2 ENT's, 3 neurologists, a gastroenterologist, a cardiologist, an allergist, a naturopath, and even a medical intuitive and acupuncturist. I have had more tests than I can remember, but lets try: full brain and spine MRI, 2 CT scans, an upper endoscopy and colonoscopy (which was for chronic hemorrhoids, but that's irrelevant), a stress echo test, I wore an event monitor for 30 days, and some test where they measured my eye movement and poured water in my ears. I know there's more, but can't think of them. A neurologist in Seattle thought I may have migraine associated vertigo. After doing some research, I disagree. It doesn't fit or feel right. I used to drink allot and smoke. I quite smoking and cut way down on drinking, thinking that was making it worse, but it makes no difference.
I now no longer have insurance. I am thousands of dollars in debt for medical bills and they just keep coming in. I almost had to file for bankruptcy due only to medical bills. Every doctor tells me I 'm fine and blows me off as having stress and anxiety. Nonsense. I know, with everything that I am, that something is wrong with me. This is not in my head and I am not crazy. I cry and wish everyday for someone to help me. Any advice would be very appreciated.
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